[Week 22] [Champ] C. Murderous Keys(13-5) vs 2. Coup d'etat(9-1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jan 24, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    VERSES
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  2. Riot

    Riot The Dark Hero.

    Joined:
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  3. Riot

    Riot The Dark Hero.

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    Edited, Will Make Time To Drop A Champion Verse.

    Sorry.
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  4. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
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    Temptation

    [​IMG]

    I Undress -tear off- her school uniform quickly
    As I molest and sex her mature body mimicry
    She stands to my chest, with an hour glass shape
    Large blue eyes, youthful, sassy as jail bait
    I met her last year under the guise of summer school
    I was her tutor and we met daily as utter fools
    She trusted me and I told her how pretty she was
    Said her ass and hips were amazing, not just because
    How her long legs propped up shoulders so tender
    Behaving sexy, how Victoria's Secret did surrender
    I gave into lust, obsessing her perky little tit
    And her mouth, jerking to her soft, supple clit
    I throbbed for this preteen, and she gave me access
    I did her math while she slobbed my dick, fantastic !
    Her motherly hips rounded around to a succulent belly
    Down, I dick slapped her tulip pussy, and she let me !
    Beyond, were two puffy nipples still in bloom
    Simple, I sucked them, with one hand in her poon
    Cute white panties conformed to her curvy butt
    I slipped in a knuckle, and finger-fucked her guts
    Slender legs spread and whimpered weakly to the side
    Slopping and slurping seriously, in three fingers wide
    She yelped to a shutter, turning her side to face
    She creamed yet another sputter, I owed her a taste
    She poised plump lips down my finger and vacuumed up
    Thirsty, she slurped the juices, what a back room slut !
    I turned her over on her stomach and felt King
    Her butt was comfy as I sat on it, just thinking
    Then, I fucked her bubbly ass checks and thanked her
    Sometimes my dick went deeper, grazing her money maker
    Sitting there I busted my nut, splashing all over her
    I filled her inexperienced pussy for sure
    Then I whispered:

    This is me and this is you
    Fuck what I say and do as I do
    You must slave if you want to give
    Behave risqué and with that pussy live
    Sucking me everyday, but tomorrow sex me more
    I cum you swallow, these are your fucking chores
    Spread those long legs slow, Miss round panty hips
    Expose camel toe in with youthful pampered lips
    Allow me to nibble that grade A clit
    Graceful, I'd say you taste full of spit
    Your body is mine so lay down, knock back dat ass
    Arch it up, sailing hungry cock to harbor at last
    A hard on will tear, resisting with sly friction
    Your pink will swell up with honey my Sex Vixen


    Now off her, I buried her panties in my face
    Taking a big whiff, euphoric from a musky taste
    Cum still dripped from her cunt and it was hot
    She fingered a bit to her mouth, sure and why not ?
    I was relived that this was our well kept secret
    She believed what I told her; to me she was my pet
    To her I was now a boyfriend, a best friend forever
    Whatever, I toyed with her again, I was very clever
    Now on her side, she held hands up under her chin
    Mature curves, exquisite hips, her survival sin
    I ran a finger down her detours, hips and thighs
    I stopped at her breast to question her eyes
    The answer came back clear with colorful belief
    Disguised in fear, off came a very loud sneeze
    I reminded myself she was still very young
    And confided to say that I loved her some
    Young as she was, she still remembered clueless
    As long as she fucked all was not rendered useless
    I wished nobody heard that sneeze, too costly
    I waited a minute and felt, again, cautious mostly
    Thirteen going on thirty, it was pure adrenaline
    Firm, clean, slender and sporty here in heaven, kids

    The lights were off the whole time as we played
    Daily we sucked and humped and dark it stayed
    It was not cool when another teacher walked in
    Saw us tangled together naked, and lost his lid
    He dropped his would be Kleenex to offer, bless you
    He stopped, stood, reflexed to tell the next officer
    HE KNEW.

    F - U - C - K



    .
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  5. Riot

    Riot The Dark Hero.

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    [​IMG]
    Temptation
    It’s a dark night outside, under a silvered moon.
    Stars clamor for attention; Daybreak’s dawning soon.
    Far below, lights along the busy city streets
    Do their best to hide the stars; Sky and Earth compete.
    Only one’s aware of this dance of Earth and Sky;
    Who, distant, takes no notice, other than to sigh.
    Hidden for a moment, an angel rests a while-
    Clothed in peaceful darkness, bejeweled with but a smile-
    From whom, in Night’s shaded sleep, came the sweetest tones;
    The whispering of hushed tunes, fit to melt the stones.
    For not just one, but two, had rested there this night
    And though they knew their peace would fade with morning’s light,
    For moments they could rest, in beauty and in grace;
    Memorize the other’s soul; see the other’s face.
    They lay nearly in silence, but for lullabies-
    Sung soft as could be; such a heart-rending goodbye.
    A sad fare-thee-well that he felt he could not make;
    For love of an angel, he’d an angel forsake.
    Then he looked down at the girl, nestled by his side,
    While gentle wings spread o’er them, feathers white and wide.
    A smile graced her slumber, her face held perfect peace;
    And innocence and trust that set his heart at ease.
    And as he held her close, her breath soft against his chest,
    A second seemed eternal – nothing more, nor less.
    In that fleeting moment, saw he all the hours past
    When they had met, and loved until the very last.
    Who else could have recognized, but this angel, his?
    Could know he couldn’t stay, and have accepted this?
    This child of the light, that so long had been alone…
    Deprived the very heavens, yet still her heart shone.
    For just a moment, souls and eyes had met as one;
    Wreaked a spell so potent it could not be undone-
    Where had been two hearts, two souls, lonely as could be,
    Now smelted into one; combined eternally.

    But the joys of the day had fled with Dusk’s last light;
    In both their hearts they knew they only had tonight.
    He’d brought her to her home, but when he turned to leave-
    He saw a dread in her- she grabbed hold of his sleeve.
    She’d been on her own so long….”Just this once,” she cried.
    “Let me sleep just one night, for once not terrified.”
    Her face began to shine with tears that weren’t in vain.
    Although he’d never hold his angel close again,
    He caught her tight against him, drying off her cheek;
    Promising a safeguard whenever she felt weak.
    Still…Nothing’s eternal; their precious time was gone
    The chirping from outside was heralding the dawn.
    She had not woken yet – he thought that for the best-
    A tear rolled down his cheek, as he his love confessed-
    Certain if she woke he’d not find the strength to go,
    When through the curtain-lace Dawn’s light began to show.
    He bent o’er his angel and breathed a soft goodbye
    And kneeling by her bed, he kissed her with a sigh.
    Then he turned and left her, without a second glance
    Just as the stars above finished with their dance.
    The first pink light of sunrise spread across the land
    While an angel took to flight, donned a halo grand.
    He prayed that he’d done right in setting his love free
    But he’d no other choice- he could not mortal be.

    Yet whenever in her life she would feel alone
    She seemed to hear a song in soft familiar tones.
    And when she saw no joy, saw nothing but despair
    Although she could not see him, she knew that he was there.
    And once, only once, when she’d wished that she were dead
    She’d found a downy feather by her on the bed.



    Topic: Temptation, Angel ine love with a human woman.
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  6. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
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    Coup:
    Dude wtf this is like the middle piece of fairydances tale, no lie.. Shit was disturbing.. amazing description, I mean you killed it, shit was detailed like a son of a bitch.. As far as story though this was basically just one big sex scene lol which is cool but there was no discovery , you went something like 16 lines pure sex with and underage girl then 8 just about how she cant tell, then another 16 of sex with an underage girl again.. Its comical because of how deep you went into it but dude I need more of a twist at the end then he was just caught out.. Still ok drop dude

    Riot:
    Absolutely beautiful.. Very poetic and well delivered piece of writing.. Your structure was smooth which made for an easy read and your vocab mixed with your description really shone in this piece.. The last six lines where moving and tied the whole thing together.. I think you really outdone yourself this time dude.. amazing piece of writing.

    Vote = lil riot

    Better all round verse..
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  7. Text

    Text Dot Dash

    Joined:
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    Jesus this is gonna be tough .

    Coup - Well what can i say lol, i loved it & not just because of the depth you told the sex scenes, the imagery was awesome & the flow was on point throughout.

    'Now off her, I buried her panties in my face
    Taking a big whiff, euphoric from a musky taste
    Cum still dripped from her cunt and it was hot
    She fingered a bit to her mouth, sure and why not ?'

    Hah loved this bit ^

    Yea overall id say you did a really nice job with this & to be honest i wasnt expecting this kind of verse from you, so the surprise element was dope too.

    Lil Riot - i found your verse to be quite the opposite to Coup's, where his verse was kind of 'Dirty & Sexy' i found yours to be 'Beautiful & tender' very good use of imagery & flow was defo near perfect.

    'Far below, lights along the busy city streets
    Do their best to hide the stars; Sky and Earth compete.
    Only one’s aware of this dance of Earth and Sky;
    Who, distant, takes no notice, other than to sigh.'

    ^ really liked these lines.

    So yea overall this is also a fantastic drop & does not make my decision at all easyer to say the least.

    As ive prob said before im not a fan of voting because i dont think its fair to state one verse been better than the other when they are 2 very diffrent approachs, but obviously i have to choose one. As far as reading each verse goes i found myself more gripped to Coup's verse. My reasons have to be, that week in week out i see a lot of 'Love' verses & dont get me wrong i enjoy reading them, but i think that at some point in Riots verse, it just kinda got a little repetative. Anyways like i said i hate to have to choose 1 but i have to go with the one i perferred overall & that was...


    Vote - Coup .
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  8. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    This is the first time I've read any of Riot's RSTL works,and I am PLEASANTLY SUPRISED.I wholeheartedly agree with much of the above here,except that my vote MAY be different,so read what I write through to the end:

    Coup

    Your piece was like a nonstop ride on the thundergasm train.Lol. Right out the gate it was high speed nonstop potent ish that not even zane herself would touch,but ANNE RICE touched on this them with BELINDA in her erotica.Except you were raunchier and completely unapologetic with your piece,your pic was right on target.I often wonder about the deep sexual hungers in the Japanese national soul that inspire such hyperintense and oftentimes hyperviolent sexual imagery.It's not the legacy of the geisha,that I know...anywho,you nailed this just right.The escalation in your verse was wonderful and the immense shock and fear of being discovered didn't really need any deep explanation to it (unless it led to you murdering the teacher who was trying to dime you out in order to cover up your secret.Yeah that woulda been quite interesting) and I liked it.Didn't like the bastard tutor though.I'd like to whoop his azz in real life.Which also is directly due to your deft handling of character.Amazing read,top to bottom,and makes me wanna go have sex with my OVER 21 YEAR OLD female friend.Lol.

    Riot

    Really loved this joint man.Your piece is the artful,soft,sweet,epic love that frequently is the stuff of female authors, women's novels and enthralls legions of female fans.Am I dissin your masculinity? Nah man I'm giving you props.This level of refined touch delivery imagery,sinful divinity...the unswervingly true immortal love with a spice of fatal danger...this is the kind of stuff that keeps drawing women and teens to everything from the Story of Osheru (which spawned the story of Moses in the thrushes,Perseus son of Zues in CLASH OF THE TITANS,even much of Jesus' story) to THE ROMANCE OF ANTAR to SCHEHERAZADE (storyteller of 10001 Nights) to ROMEO AND JULIETTE to those "bad boy" movies back in the day to TWILIGHT movies and TRUE BLOOD now.You tapped into a vein that is as deep and "immortal" as we mortals can hope to be. You're the soft sweet Spring breeze of a Yin to Coup's dirty nuke of a Yang,and the vote of each "voter" is likely swayed toward the "mood" that they're closer to when they read each of your pieces,because each of you absolutely KILT IT without ANY doubt.

    Today,at the moment I read this piece,I was closer to the YIN side.Maybe later today,I'll kick myself and be closer to the YANG side.In fact? That's a distinct possibility and that in and of itself encapsulates the illness of each author.

    VOTE=C.MURDEROUS KEYS
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  9. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    Voting links: Voting links:[Week 22] [Champ] C. Murderous Keys(13-5) vs 2. Coup d'etat(9-1)
    [Week 22] 7. Lyricalpriest(2-4) vs 8. JOWELZ(0-1)
    [Week 22] [Contender] 3. BLACK ATTICUS(2-2) vs 4. Text(1-0)
    [Week 22] 5. Cereal_Killer(1-0) vs 6. ShadowWarriorfs(14-6)
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  10. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
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    Coup - This was a solid story from you. The flow was good, the rhymes were solid and you described the scene very well. What i would have liked in an erotic piece like this was, give me more detail about how you felt. Sure you described the scene but you left out the ecstasy you felt before during the scene. You touched on it yea but i wanted depth. I wanted to feel what you felt not just see it. Still, this was a good story with solid imagery. Good work here man...


    Fave line -
    "How her long legs propped up shoulders so tender
    Behaving sexy, how Victoria's Secret did surrender
    I gave into lust, obsessing her perky little tit
    And her mouth, jerking to her soft, supple clit"


    MK - The flow here was smooth and the rhymes were good. I found the story to be beautiful. It was well delivered and was easy to read. The concept was good and it just felt fresh. I don't really know what advice to give you here. Everything was really well written. Good work.


    Fave line -
    "This child of the light, that so long had been alone…
    Deprived the very heavens, yet still her heart shone.
    For just a moment, souls and eyes had met as one;
    Wreaked a spell so potent it could not be undone-"


    This was a good match here. I thought both wrote similar topics but in very different ways. Both were well written but MK's came off as beautiful to me which really was my preference today. I thought MK's had more emotion which Coup's story was really missing...Good work guys


    V/ MK
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  11. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

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    coup;
    This was funny, i mean the rhythm of the piece flowed nicely due to the tight structure but the overall story was intense and very amusing.
    My piece this week was very similar but more delved into the emotional side not the physical side of an estranged relationship.
    It was a pretty good verse full of description.

    Murderous Keys;
    This was a well thought out and well delivered piece of writing.
    You definitely captured the beauty that both of them where partaking in which made for a good read.
    Solid vocab and solid delivery.
    This has to be my favorite verse of the week because it is so moving.

    vote murderous keys
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  12. BLACK ATTICUS

    BLACK ATTICUS An Actual Show Rocka!!

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    this is hands down the hardest battle i've voted on thus far! both went the fuck in on these verses!

    Coup I'm really just "picking a line to quote" here, you kept a ridiculous rhyme scheme through the whole thing and went 'quite heathen' through the whole verse. with a picture like that..i could expect nothing less:
    How her long legs propped up shoulders so tender
    Behaving sexy, how Victoria's Secret did surrender
    I gave into lust, obsessing her perky little tit
    And her mouth, jerking to her soft, supple clit
    I throbbed for this preteen, and she gave me access
    I did her math while she slobbed my dick, fantastic !

    crazy

    RIOT -- are you a Shakespeare student?!?! the wording was genius and the story made hella sense...the read and the flow was steady...not a fast spit, but if you did it outloud it would WORK!!! great job and fuck you for making this vote hard pull off!

    If I could do a freakin' SPLIT i would sooooo lay that out right now, u both killed it. but alas..dammit.... um...i'm wanting to give the vote to the story that had the best TWIST and in that case i would give it coup, but...i think my dude pulled off some serious literature here so

    vote - Riot
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  13. JOWELZ

    JOWELZ Bah Fangooly Da Bear

    Joined:
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    I Undress -tear off- her school uniform quickly
    As I molest and sex her mature body mimicry

    Not sure what this means... Overall the verse was pretty disturbed... I like that...

    but Riot...

    Wow...

    Misjudged your work last week... This was Topical at it's best... Looking forward to takin your title... Will be fun... As for now, IMO, you retained it beautifully.

    smile graced her slumber, her face held perfect peace;
    And innocence and trust that set his heart at ease.
    And as he held her close, her breath soft against his chest,
    A second seemed eternal – nothing more, nor less.
    In that fleeting moment, saw he all the hours past
    When they had met, and loved until the very last.

    As Al Sharpton said in Mr. Deeds... "Nice rhyme"

    v- Riot.
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  14. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    MK up 5 to -4
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  15. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    MK wins 5 to -4
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