[Week 21] 11. Eternalpath(2-4) vs 12. T.a.C(0-0)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by T.a.C, Aug 25, 2009.

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  1. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    [​IMG]



    WEEK 21



    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.​
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  2. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    if you wanted to restart your record, just tell me, otherwise ill just give you what your record would be
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  3. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    little rusty




    I can’t hide it
    I tried it, behind my eye lids
    Inside this silence that followed the violence
    I swallowed my pride then, wallowed in my sins
    We were down, but it’s time we end this relationship
    Save it, prick, It hurts so much I just wanna make it quick
    I’m in amazement it’s taken me so long to see you aint shit
    Afraid to say it, cuz you were the game that I was getting played in
    In an attempt to sever tension, what you said I never questioned
    Your intensions were tended to just however intended
    Now never forget it’s just better to end this
    Instead of pretendin were still on some friend shit
    But I’ll explain why, you can no longer be my main guy
    When you take over my brain I start to act insane, why?
    It all began, one night I was stressed and
    Trying to come up with a speech, my friend asked me to be his best man
    The stage fright brought pain, right, you said you could make it less, then
    In plain sight you made it ok, I’m fine, now the situation aint as intense, when
    You helped out, but now I need constantly
    I feel safe to do a lot of things when I know you’re watching me
    Trouble at work, you’re always there, never you’re a foreigner
    My girl throws a fit, you’re right there when I turn the corner
    She doesn’t know I’m cheating, creepin while she’s sleeping
    With you in my arms I know soon I'll be dreaming
    Scheming of how I can keep you both in my life
    I’m hopin you’ll hide, but you’re knowin its time
    Cuz you take my mind and break my pride
    Every mistake I find, the explosion I make’s sky high
    Much more time with you and ill die, and I try to flee
    To escape you, but in the end it’s always I that lies to me
    Goodbye, just leave, cuz of you, I caused my wife to bleed
    When she tried to scream, all because I had too much of you inside of me
    You took over, and now I’m taking myself back
    Cause of you I’ll burn in hell, and I can’t help that
    I fell back, screaming, and sobbing on the floor
    I don’t want you no more, please don’t haunt me no more
    Taunting me, this time you can’t take me
    Staring in the mirror, my kidney bleeding, my back aching
    Hands shaking, and with my last waking
    Amount of strength, I throw you down and hear glass breaking







    Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems. - Homer Simpson
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  4. Eternalpath

    Eternalpath I am FEMALE!!!!

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2004
    Messages:
    1,168
    I went away to NC so not sure if you want me to type up a story..forgot you asked for this battle...i can type up something so you wont just get a no show win..up to you if nto its all good
    test
  5. Eternalpath

    Eternalpath I am FEMALE!!!!

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2004
    Messages:
    1,168
    if you accept this cool if not its just practice keyed up quickly


    "From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate" -- Socrates



    I wanted action..My life was filled with unsatisfaction..
    so I decided to ask a question to get the reaction
    I hope that I was looking for..but he was a dope..
    I told my boyfriend that it would take more for me to elope..
    he smiled..and returned you haven't left in these years..
    and through me cheating..and all your tears..
    so what now?? you trying to be funny?? you trying to clown?
    he didn't know the truth..that now I was down..
    For the excitement I missed..when he was hiding the kisses..
    hopping from b.itch to b.itch..and I avoided the snitches..
    So I gave him the deal..let him know that I was for real..
    we could share one lady..I had a fantasy to fulfill..
    He looked shocked..expression on his face unlocked
    a smile that could stretch across hundreds of blocks..
    I could tell he was glad that I agreed to this fad..
    but one agreement, a woman he has never had..
    Since he was a whore before I tamed him a bit..
    this would be something that would be hard for him to get..
    but this was my wish..so he dedicated himself to Craig’s list..
    we got many hits..but unfortunaly just as many misses..
    until this one lady..who only seemed half crazy..
    Said she was 26..thick, with no babies..
    That meant she could be ready..and that was just fine..
    so we took her to dinner..a lil wine and dine..
    the food was up to measure..but I wanted pleasure..
    now that I was full I wanted to feel better..
    we went back to our place..attacked with aggression..
    Sitting on the couch and her back I started caressing..
    Kisses on her neck..her moans connected with me..
    made my skin tingle..while expanding my sexuality..
    a casualty I wanted to be..so I laid her down..
    My man started to come around
    were both touching and pleasing..
    My lips touched her lips..enough of this teasing..
    went between her thighs..her creams..her cries..
    Her lips around my man as he completed his rise..
    We changed positions..she on her back, with me sitting..
    She tasting me while my man hitting..
    I came on her face..with every stroke came excitement..
    every second that pass..more that I liked this..
    She screamed to my man..harder then before..
    That’s when it changed and my mouth dropped to the floor..
    I yelled BEFORE?? she jumped up and ran naked to the door..
    I was on her heels..she already knew the deal..
    and he didn't even try to stop me..I wanted to kill..
    drastic I know..but to many times I've been lied to..
    Grabbed her by her hair..she had no clue..
    went for the plastic and wrapped it around her face..
    anger in my eyes..for even making me chase..
    My man wasn’t surprised..his weak effort to stop me..
    didn't even knock me off course..even yet drop me..
    I punched and smacked while her breath left her lungs..
    She lost conscious and then I went for the gun..
    He screamed that’s enough but I was bent in my ways..
    I just grabbed the gun..and began to spray..
    First shots hit him..I didn’t care, forget him..
    left him laying there, survival was slim..
    Walked over to this chick..put it to her head..
    one blast, and her brains flew out..I knew she was dead..
    I calmed a bit..forget that my eyes hell with fire..
    that my deadliest hate came from my deepest desire..
    test
  6. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    Not a bad match-up. Pretty much even in all areas imo. TaC gave a decent account for himself, but the old personification route is hard to impress with nowadays becuase it's been done so many times before. A played concept but you did a fair job of it young'un. Eternal - that was pretty lengthy for a quick key, maybe too lengthy as I slipped in and out of interest with this verse. Had to smile at the 'before' bit and what followed held entertainment value but it could have been written with more flair maybe. Overall this is a tough call. My vote goes to .. erm .. TaC. Not 100% sure why or even if I'm happy with my decision but he possibly made the stronger showing for me.
    Posted via Mobile Device
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  7. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    T.a.C - not a bad verse..your flow seemed a bit off and i think that was due to the inconsistent line length that lacked internal rhyming(if u had the internal rhyming in the long lines..it wouldn't have been soo bad). the concept was good...you have a great meaning behind it as well..i would suggest you throw some imagery in there..like similes or metaphors to add to the meaning of your verse...nicely done tho..

    Face line -

    "I can’t hide it
    I tried it, behind my eye lids
    Inside this silence that followed the violence
    I swallowed my pride then,"

    Eternal - Wow @ this...very interesting topic here..i ain't going to lie, it kept me entertained. I loved that you made your lines length more consistent which helped your flow. I thought your rhymes were a bit sophomoric and i thought that some word were unneeded, which you can work on but still a better piece from you. nicely done

    Fave line -

    "we went back to our place..attacked with aggression..
    Sitting on the couch and her back I started caressing..
    Kisses on her neck..her moans connected with me..
    made my skin tingle..while expanding my sexuality.."

    Overall a even battle..my vote goes to Eternal...here verse just kept me more entertained lol...nicely done guys
    test
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