[Week 20] [Championship] C. .:Pain:. (12-4) vs 2. Lucifa(5-3)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by T.a.C, Aug 16, 2009.

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  1. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    [​IMG]



    WEEK 20



    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.​
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  2. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    votes: eternalpath vs yung troy
    Posted via Mobile Device
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  3. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2005
    Messages:
    10,365
    Payback will be a mother fucker...
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  4. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2005
    Messages:
    10,365
    Sorry, didn't have time to finish the piece the way I wanted, goin' campin', pz motha fuckas...




    He's seen every kind of person on the job that he works,
    He's known every kind of pain that could possibly hurt,
    He's a soldier for the souls, a warrior of spirits,
    He never looks back, he keeps soaring through the mirrors...

    ...A man stands tall on the sands of time,
    Waving down his help, through his hands he cries,
    As he takes a destined seat next to me, he speaks,
    "So where we goin'," let me be, I think,
    You know where you're goin', and you know the reason why,
    "I'd only like to know, it would give me peace of mind,"
    Black hair and pale skin, half scared through stale grins,
    Empty inside, his past teared from hail winds,
    He was an entertainer, made of the voice of a God,
    With the poise of slob, plus bad choices and thoughts,
    As we approach the gates, he slowly breaks down,
    And makes sounds similar to choking shame down,
    A rain cloud appears in his eyes, he clearly resigns,
    Knowing his destination brought fear to his mind,
    In that moment you can see him rethinking his past,
    The gravity of guilt nearly sinks us in fact,
    Hell's gates in front, he knows his destiny smiles,
    Because there's never an excuse for molesting a child...
    ...Back across the river, throw the anchor and dock,
    The souls of millions stand patient and watch,
    A tall bronze man, with the build of a giant,
    Is next in line, to be killed by the fires,
    It's always the same, he steps on the boat,
    You can feel the nervousness in his throat when he spoke,
    They ask the same question everytime that they board,
    And get the same answer that they try to ignore,
    Another man that had it all, but couldn't keep a happy drawl,
    Instead he speaks fast, hopin' to speak passed his tragic thoughts,
    Exchanged his wife and kids for a life of bliss,
    But bliss counteracted and showered tragic kinds of gifts,
    Murdered by his vice, it's not because she killed the guy,
    He's in hell for leaving his family while he was still alive,
    All the money he made doing what he truly loves,
    Ain't worth shit in the eyes of those he wounded, son...

    ...People crossing Styx don't know who he is,
    Or why he can judge those he doesn't know truly get,
    He has to be unbias, and he has to be fair,
    To either take them to the highest, or to tragedies shared,
    Charon is an angel, as his visitor's learn,
    Yet they'll never know about his only trip to the Earth,
    He came under Yeshua, and he knows all the rules,
    He knows what it means to keep focused and true,
    He's seen the pain felt by those with a curse,
    And he's seen the greed swell every no limit purse,
    He's seen the undeserving get what they deserve,
    Which is why he was perfect for this line of work...

    [​IMG]
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  5. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    Server has been down for hours .. it's whatever on taking a no-show but my verse was ready on time .. just couldn't post the fucking thing ..


    [​IMG]

    ..See..
    Ashley was an aspiring actress
    and she was out aquiring a dress
    when her agent rang "Audition time"
    "I'll be over with your script at 9"
    'That's fine' said Ashley, cool as you like
    trying to hide her mood was at height
    said 'goodbye' .. though she forgot
    to even ask of her role in the plot
    ..But..
    a chance is a chance in this nameless,
    shameless, romantic chance to be famous
    yet fame is a game which she plays in
    with payments the agents are making
    when taking their share of the fraction
    earned each time directors say "Action!"
    with reputation based on client lists
    to be in fashion is their highest wish
    ..Still..
    Ashley was so eager for stardom,
    a mansion with 10 acre garden,
    a Bentley to be chauffer driven,
    to be given red carpet treatment
    and have paps snap at her snatch as she
    gets out the backseat of a taxi
    no panties, sat with Paris and Britney
    then snapped dancing with, ravishing Lindsay
    ..Though..
    some dreams are made, others are smashed
    so to keep hers alive; she must act
    in this 'straight to DVD' facet
    and hope it's a B-Movie Classic
    that jet propells her profiles status
    to move on and work with those actors
    and actresses whose takings are vast
    quantities of cash for making a cast
    .."Cut!"..
    "That's a wrap." they all clap and retreat
    "Take them tapes to the editting suite."
    Released. Cult Classic. Underground Hit.
    Appluaded. Awarded with plaudit.
    5 star reviews. Headlining the news.
    Ashley's big scene Top 5 YouTube views
    recognition in the street ensues
    kids circle her feet like camera crews
    ..Then..
    'Avenue' sent a V.I.P. PASS,
    a voucher for 2 Moet Rose packs
    for her and 3 more friends to enjoy
    and half price nights stay at the Savoy
    a celeb packed event to attend
    she had made it, no need to pretend
    Hollywood was calling out her name
    and Ashley's life would never be the same
    ..When..
    she had accepted a breakfast with
    a man posed as an executive
    with a big budget to invest in
    anything which he found intresting
    he told her how stunning she looked
    and he'd like to have her on his books
    with a fortune of promises told
    so to; a promise of fortune was sold
    ..So..
    I guess you request a twist to this?
    some evil shit, maybe kill this bitch?
    Commerce Clause of the Constitution?
    the rape turns her to prostitution?
    have the sleezy exec be in porn?
    she gives head, he records her perform?
    Well tough, cos she made it, no troubles
    So sorry to burst your morbib bubble
    ..*POP*..

    [​IMG]
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  6. liquid`acid

    liquid`acid gods busy can I help you?

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2005
    Messages:
    13,603
    pain:

    nicely done man, same topic/direction as me but i think you did much better then i did
    dunno how much research you did but Kharon/charon didnt actually ferry people across the river styx, not that its in important detail.
    i found the internal rhymes kinda lacking but cant really fault you for it as i had trouble with that as well, it was a great verse but not quit up to the talent level im used to reading from you.


    lucifa:

    haha, well.. ill admit i was expecting some kinda twist, i like how you adressed it (the lack of twist) and that the pick was more addressed to us then the verse. at first i was hesitant about how the verse would pan out given the short lines but overall it worked out for you... yeah sorry i dont have anything really constructive to say




    while i felt like lucifa had a more solid verse in terms of writing i felt like i enjoyed pains a bit more, so im giving you guys the coin toss treament. heads = lucifa, tails = pain.... and heads

    vote = lucifa
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  7. Eternalpath

    Eternalpath I am FEMALE!!!!

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2004
    Messages:
    1,168
    Pain...

    I see why you are champ...even when you say you didn't have time to really finish like you wanted this piece is still a work of art..your story telling is on point along with flow..metaphors here and there..plenty of imagery and vivid details.. Of course I'm not a fan of hell stories but still this fit the picture... Props on your verse..

    Lucifa

    nice story...the flow was quick.fast paced...lil twist at the end..but I really wasnt feeling this story in its hold.. I guess I figured you have done something deeper..This seemed it lacked something..detailed but seems like something was left out..a porn star it seems..but she still paid..I dunno...

    My vote Pain...the story to me was more appealing and was more developed..
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  8. Betty*Beretta

    Betty*Beretta New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2003
    Messages:
    1,209
    PAIN:

    I really dug your piece, I thought you came with a really awesome take on the picture, the imagery was nice and the story really kept me thoroughly intrigued.

    LUCIFA:

    I love how you ended the piece, it was nice to see a positive ending to a RSTL piece hah. They're pretty rare.

    VOTE = Pain

    I thought he came real hard with this one, it kept my attention from beginning to end.

    Nice battle
    test
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