[Week 2] Galatea(0-0) vs Nu'maaN(0-0)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jan 23, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Feb 25, 2008


    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you still must vote on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match!!! You WILL lose if you dont.
    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.


    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
  2. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA Well-Known Member

    Jun 10, 2010
  3. GaLaTeA

    GaLaTeA Well-Known Member

    Jun 10, 2010
    You're a 'monster', and all the villagers keep trying to kill you, but you're a pacif

    Petty bourgeois, the provincial intellectual and eternal pacifist,
    a friendly, warm person never raising his voice, nor fist,
    decided to rent a cottage in a village called Mist,
    to expand his hedonstic love of life lived in nature,
    to nurture empty spirits with echos of awoken desire,
    of waking up to the sound of birds flying over a murmuring stream,
    daydreaming of what life could have been,
    if he only dared to act upon and materialize his dream.

    Arrival was brutal, villagers deemed him a mutant,
    a monster entered their little world ruled by trembling fear,
    rage against anything unfamiliar or vaguely unclear,
    led them to surround him and shout:
    »There's no place for you here, no room for a shaman in heals.«
    Mortifying silence slapped him from all sides,
    He almost felt it'll be best if he hides, until anger subsides.

    Months passed, with him getting harassed,
    Attacked and blamed for any ocurance they lack to explain,
    if rain fell on others, he got showered with rocks,
    he pleaded them to start thinking outside of the box,
    yet got dragged through mud untill drafty veins of his sweated blood,
    when village heart hurt, razors would cut the monster,
    throat reaching blood, body falling prey to knifes of hunters,
    one dance that won't grant feathers,
    only horrofying images under the names of villagers,
    taking steps back is no longer a place,
    a plot made in light will go down with carbon black ashes ablaze.

    Countless attempts of ending his life are made,
    to no avail, he survives them all without touching a blade,
    without striking back, or retaliating,
    without ever wishing any ill will to those who hate him,
    the villagers will be back angrier and he'll be waiting,
    with wishes of one day being accepted,
    to fit in without being rejected,
    to be no lesser of a monster,
    than the blood thirst of villagers being perfected.

    Untll a fatal night came.

    Village gardens wrapped into patches of darkness,
    Full moon's shine interrupted by screams of violence,
    Intense suffocation is scenting the blood bathed air,
    »He must die« is chanted with no silence to spare,
    Not a single person objects to the crowd gathered there,
    A villager grabs crimson spatter covered scissors,
    Holds them up to the absorbing sky in absence of jitters,
    And stabs the monster hastly two times, summoning it's death,
    The crowd rejoyces as if it's the only thing they have left,
    Even tied to a tree, the monster holds on to life by a mere breath,
    Attempting to free itself of the villagers and tied ropes,
    There's no time of clinging to desperation of losing hope.

    For now dying he's finally left alone,
    his ripped flesh will maintain a memory,
    of finally being killed savagely.​
  4. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Jun 19, 2009
    G - Petty bourgeois, the provincial intellectual and eternal pacifist,

    wow, nice opening line...flowing, stark, cool. Gave us immediately a great summery of character. Not sure of second line was necessary to describe him more, could of had the readers figure he was friendly and warm. Pacifist from first line was enough :p

    I thought this had some crazy good lines then some filler lines. The flow was OK, but in some lines it was not even there...that didn't bother me though. I do the same thing.

    Fav lines:

    Petty bourgeois, the provincial intellectual and eternal pacifist,

    of waking up to the sound of birds flying over a murmuring stream,

    Intense suffocation is scenting the blood bathed air,

    A villager grabs crimson spatter covered scissors,

    Great great stuff yo.

    Overall I have two complaints: one that the rhyme scheme was rather basic. It's OK though, but if you want to kill it in the rstl in the future, you got to step it up (people are picky) or let the story just kill it all with one stone.

    And that I was wanting to read insights to the monster/villager conflict. There was just vague generalizations and no written accounts. That would have made this verse even better, because it would have been the missing link here.

    So detail to that type of development you should keep in mind IMO.

    This was a smooth, smooth verse and it was complete enough to enjoy because there were some really great lines in it to give it that swagger.

    Nice show G
  5. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

    Apr 12, 2000
    Nicely done Gal.. This topic and tone of the authors voice was so neatly fused together it sounded convincing. your flow was provocative and the the development of the story was mediocre. there was some rushed parts some abrupt transfers.. some end rhymes were off, but for the most part the mechanics were pretty solid. RSTL look out.. GalAte A topic this week .. next week lets see if she'll do it again..
  6. patrown

    patrown student for life

    Dec 5, 2011
    youve got a lot if potential G.
    Very happy to see you here.
    I loved this .. Read it again.
    Note: i gave feedback in a PM to her.
  7. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Aug 19, 2000
    i like this piece galatea.... the progression in your writing is good and even though you didnt ravish the piece with multis your writers voice carried it, and your bars arent stretched into oblivion...

    good shit....
  8. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Aug 27, 2005
    i couldn't post in time, (australia day long weekend).

    fuck the extension, gal - take the win.

    will come back later when i can find some time to write.

  9. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Apr 11, 2004
    Gal wins via no show
  10. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Feb 25, 2008
    Gal wins by no show
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