[Week 2] DeadKing(0-0) vs FórmÅl LôGíc(0-0)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jan 23, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
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    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
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    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. FórmÅl LôGíc

    FórmÅl LôGíc Black Listed

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    Should be good.
    test
  3. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

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    Oct 20, 1999
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    i completely forgot how to write
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  4. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

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    i wrote a verse for this, i just got caught up last night, is a 12 hour ext cool?
    test
  5. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    since formal didnt drop either im assuming it would be
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  6. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 1999
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    sorry for delay, will post votes ASAP


    Broken Shadows


    An empty canvas....
    a blank void of life that has yet to be damaged
    imagine if you will that life is standing still and looking back among the years is a picture you can feel
    everything that changed you or had an impact on your life
    the moments that curved a the path you initially had liked
    well i see that path before me, the light is very dim
    as i havent met the errors that reside inside my skin
    but this voice inside my head
    will probably take years
    to be able to speak in a language condescendant of my fear
    and these legs that i got, simply arnt that stable
    to stand up for what i believe in... even when i'm able
    when i gaze into my hands, I wonder if they can
    build a better a life than the life my parents had
    as the more i get to know this world i came upon
    i know the older that i get the more lonely i'll become
    as this empty canvas paints a picture over years
    the shades lead to black, but not as it appears
    an empty canvas with no image, the future to be painted
    the shadows cast across it from a broken home that you created
    and i hated that you kept me cause your pride wouldnt falter
    so thank you for the opportunity to live a life without a father
    thank you for the chance to live my life in regret
    and having the opportunity of being a worthless piece of shit

    Sincerely,
    L-Dogg​
    test
  7. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

    Joined:
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    test
  8. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    Deadking - imagine if you will that life is standing still and looking back among the years is a picture you can feel

    I was puzzled why this line had such a high sy. count and the rest didn't ? NO biggie, just curious as to why.

    Good little short here. Nice and poetic. Some stuff was cliché like the "empty canvas" line opener. and the following "blank void"

    still, this had it's moments of power and I think this really worked. I'm thinking cos you kept it so short. That was a good move, because any longer I think you would have been just ranting...or you would have had to change it up and develop on in a different mood/themes.

    I loved the ending, it really stood out from the rest of the written:

    and i hated that you kept me cause your pride wouldn't falter
    so thank you for the opportunity to live a life without a father
    thank you for the chance to live my life in regret
    and having the opportunity of being a worthless piece of shit


    I like the repetition of thank you. Strong close, harsh and effective.

    Not the most original take, but I liked reading it so hey, why not.
    test
  9. FórmÅl LôGíc

    FórmÅl LôGíc Black Listed

    Joined:
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    Did not even know verses were due Friday. Haha. Awesome MOD I am. I dont think Ill be able to be in the league. Mag and modding is about all the time I got with work and gf and all the little life things. Sorry for not even showing.
    test
  10. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2000
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    24,097
    Props on this verse man.. it's sorta like a self expression more then a story although it did have some plot to it.. try thinking of some sick narrative techniques you can use or story tricks like twist's or suprises or good closers anecdotes.. etc.. the flow was pretty average you seem to write rhymes stressing your accent. def loof forward to you as you get more comfortable in this league..
    test
  11. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    60,692
    Dead wins via no show
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  12. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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    Dead wins by no show
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