[Week 18] [Championship] C. Nu'maaN(11-2) vs 2. nO gOoD!(5-1)(VOTE)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by T.a.C, Aug 3, 2009.

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  1. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    [​IMG]



    WEEK 18



    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.​
    test
  2. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2001
    Messages:
    14,243
    Checking in. Good Luck Nu'maaN, I'm writing a fresh verse.
    I expect a verse of top notch quality from you brother.

    Expect the same from me.

    Votes:

    http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusic-storytelling-topical-league/1170811-week-18-5-eternalpath-1-2-vs-6-got-life-1-0-a.html

    http://board.rapmusic.com/rapmusic-storytelling-topical-league/1170812-week-18-contendership-3-fac3-5-4-vs-4-pain-10-4-a.html
    test
  3. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2001
    Messages:
    14,243
    -------------------

    It was a hot summer day; I sipped a glass of Jim Beam.
    It seems the garage is ready for at last a spring clean.
    I’m not impressed, cause this dump is gonna take me a while.
    As I take the useless junk and I place it in piles.
    The wife asked “how’s it goin?” I said “lovin it dear”.
    Then something caught my attention like a buzz in my ear,
    I was reaching on the shelf, just to stick it in its spot.
    The sun blistering hot, I hear a whisper in a box,
    If you could see my face, man you’d have to laugh at me,
    You had to see this radio on, with a lack of batteries.
    “I’m a lunatic” I said, as I paced the room a bit,
    Radio in hand with the hopes that I could tune it quick.
    For the course of an hour, I sat near the porch and flowers.
    Bewildered at the radio that had no source of power,
    The signal was scrambled, but then I heard the faintest speech.
    I braced my feet from tumbling, what I heard had made me shriek
    in fear, I struggle to hear a sound that fades and breaks
    “If you can hear this message, you have made a grave mistake”
    I ran in the house, and put my hands on my spouse,
    She yells “get your shoes off!! What are you panting about?"
    I brought her to the back, grabbed her by the hand quick
    “Damnit honey, this is where….. the radio transmits,
    But it seems now the set would rather be off than on”,
    She said “honey your telling fibs, this aint a phenomenon.”
    I said “Fine, go in the house before the casserole burns,
    I thought you’d care, but instead you show a lack of concern”
    I picked the radio up with the hopes to try and learn,
    how did I miss this fuckin little dial that turns?
    The kids ran past I said “who cut the neighbour loose”
    As I spun the dial, I realized that’s what gave it juice,
    Was this a sick joke? almost fooled, save the crank,
    It all came to me that my son had played a prank.
    Thinking back, now it seems that it was his plot to shock me.
    He must have gotten to the box and hid the Walkie talkie.
    I had to laugh at his little trick, and how my stomach sank,
    It slipped my mind Denis the Menace had a love for pranks

    ---------------

    See you all in about 2-3 weeks I'm going back to canada to see my family for a couple weeks, for a much needed break from this war.
    I doubt I'll be able to get online and vote on any battles so I appologise for that.

    Peace to all of you, Got Life? be nice.
    test
  4. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,669
    murder ink.

    the pen has been lifted, the ink has dried.
    to all the men who are gifted - if you blink, you die.
    so i, write with the straw that broke the camel's back.
    handle rap with fingers fractured, yet dismantle cats.
    your man's a wack, hypocrite, i'm sick of the, deception.
    .. i remember kicking it, spitting slick perceptions.
    at your wedding reception .. where i was MC.
    was young and naive, didn't know how hearts of men be.
    you were my friend see, you proudly claimed he's legit.
    .. "my man this is it, roll with him you'll make hits".
    so i did, didn't think, you harnessed vice advice.
    i didn't get, a single cent, when you two sliced the pies.
    and what i write, gets recited on the mic by the lame.
    all the hype for the fame, made me sign off my name.
    now i'm tired of this game, three years ghost-written.
    cloaked venom for all women who don't notice the hidden.
    only pussy i know is kittens, i'm not kidding. i quit.
    this shit, don't even pay my bills, thoughts of slitting my wrists.
    .. i'm ridiculously pissed, tired and sick of this shit.
    coz illiterate bitches, getting rich of my spit.
    that's it .. i've had it, and you had your last chance.
    to make amends to the contract, "dogg contact your man".
    but you ignored all my pleas, just to please your ends.
    .. never will i beg again, i've diseased your kin.

    no amount of brainwashing, will ever clean your mind.
    you're blind, you couldn't see my pain when you steal my rhymes?
    try deal with time .. the two hands of the Lord.
    i'm the man with the sword, with a plan for you whores.
    so understand this is war, got more ink than water.
    fom every ocean, i just motion to my words, an order.
    i slaughter .. with my pen like i got the death note.
    book, you're clearly shook, yes i got the best flow.
    you know you make me so mad, bitch i hate you so bad.
    you so fake and it's sad, 'coz you raped what i had.
    my passion for poetry, depict the urban streets.
    graffiti'd walls, cracked pavements over disturbing beats.
    but you beat all that out of me, defeat is what i felt.
    i'm broke, but never break down on steady feet, i never fell.
    i feel right in my mind, when i'm writing these rhymes.
    but when fighting the swine, there's no rights for mankind.
    yet despite this i shine, i'm a diamond in the rough.
    if i don't make it with the mic, you can find me in the cuffs.
    'coz it's tough, you either deal or you steal carrying steel.
    man it's real, 'coz i feel like i can no longer manage meals.
    i plan to kill, with poisonous paragraphs, my blood is ink.
    food for thought? i present, redrum drink to think.
    about how badly you affected me and stunted my growth.
    as an artist, you bastards are heartless - i'm broke.
    it's no joke, sinister plans of making a murder record.
    i put anthrax in letters, bitch. my words are my weapons ...


    may the better writer take the bow ...

    [turn] ...
    test
  5. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2001
    Messages:
    14,243
    Im about to hop on a plane to canada, but congrats dude, you easily beat me this week. well done. next match I face you in, I'll definitely take more time. this week was garbage for me.

    props on the sick verse bro
    Posted via Mobile Device
    test
  6. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,669
    too early to say now, but thanks man.

    stay safe and enjoy your time off, i'll await your verses on your return.

    my votes :
    - pain vs face.
    - gL vs eternal.

    [turn] ...
    test
  7. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    ng - could kinda tell your heart werent really in the verse this but it was still an enjoyable read. I prefer story pieces to topicals and I liked how you set about this piece to tell a story that played out well visually. It just lacked any real umph imo. Nu - stop with the pale text you cunt, makes it hard as nails to read on this phone. Anyways... this was a good verse in general and uses a similar writing style to which my verse this week uses .. i.e lots of rhyming. I liked your take on the scenario even though I also found it 'predictable' because I thought of that when looking at topics. NG had an idea of a twist that I hadnt thought of but in the end it didnt really make an impact either. Light hearted but maybe 'too' so. Nu definitely had the harder hitting and emotionally driven verse, if faulting a bit by using open mic style filler throughout. Probably brought on by the scheme and structure which is fairly understandable but sometimes 'less is more'. And lol @ 1 line reflecting an alley thread title of Nu's. My vote goes in Nu'maans direction for a stronger showing here.
    Posted via Mobile Device
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  8. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    No Good - So I told you before Nu even posted that you lost this week after having read your verse and i'll re-elaborate on why for you real quick...you took the topic at hand and I'd say for the first 2/3rds of your piece you spent it re-establishing a foreground to a story that was already given via the topic so it was all filler and drab...your dialogue between the characters felt really "pleasantville-ish" and in that I mean that it felt like a 50s sitcom and not a real live conversation between two people in the modern world interacting over something along these lines, and then for your big twist to be that it was the kids that played a prank on their father and he just smiles off into the midst remembering his youth felt like a bad episode of maybe the wonder years or some other crap like that.

    Nu - this verse was decent, but it bored me half to death...there was just nothing original about it...another "whored by the industry" piece with a bunch of generic rap cliches and filler...granted that's what that topic lends itself to quite well, however you chose the topic and you chose the cop-out with that verse. I am disappointed in your showing this week.

    vote = Nu
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  9. DirtBoy69

    DirtBoy69 why is this wrong?

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2001
    Messages:
    1,619
    nu maan- all the peices of the verse were pretty good. shame the topic ended up being somewhat boring. i dont know it just wasnt interesting this week 6/10

    no good-vocab could of been stronger but everything else here was good the flow the topic the story and where you went with it all of this was decent 6.5/10

    ive got to give this to no good the story was better and this is a story league so
    test
  10. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2005
    Messages:
    10,367
    ^RSTL = Storytelling and Topical League. Nu wrote a topical.

    NG: Nice verse. Your rhyme words are incredibly natural and unique, that was probably what stuck out most to me. I wish you'd include a few more internal rhymes. As far as the writing goes, you started out well, and then, towards the middle, it seemed like you kinda just said fuck it, got annoyed with writing, and just tried to finish the piece. A good verse nonetheless, but I didn't like the ending much, a little too silly.

    Nu: I won't lie, I kinda got bored with this verse. You really just kept reiterating how sick you are and how you feel you won't ever get the respect you deserve and so on and so forth. Some of the quotables were flat-out astonishing though. You should work on trying to make your multies sounds a little less forced though.

    Close battle but in the end I hafta vote NG. I was captivated from beginning till close to the end, Nu's verse, regardless of the sick quotables and nicer rhyme scheme, was boring to me...
    test
  11. Betty*Beretta

    Betty*Beretta New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2003
    Messages:
    1,209


    Nu'maaN:

    I read your piece first, I must say the flow was on point, but at times it felt like content and imagery were compromised for sake of the flow. I felt things really picked up in the second half of your piece, the content got a lot stronger and I loved:

    "food for thought? i present, redrum drink to think." - very very nice

    Overall nice verse.

    No Good:

    So you could tell you're heart wasn't in it this week, really felt like you keyed this one up fairly quickly, and the outcome somewhat surprised me. For a rushed piece it was pretty cool. I think the entire piece was pretty lighthearted and made for a nice read.

    The content was lacking a bit, as 3/4ths of your verse explained what you were doing before the radio was found, and how you find it. By the time you got to the point of actually being in possession of the radio and the "where it get's interesting" part, the piece was over.

    You did offer a twist, that was unexpected, and light hearted as well.

    So, this battle comes down to two totally different writing styles. And in the end I have to give it to NU"MAAN

    Although I prefer the story aspect of No Good, it was underdeveloped, while Nu took the topical lane and executed nicely.

    test
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