[WEEK 17]*CHAMPIONSHIP*C. Nu'maaN 10-2 vs 2. MC Guttso 13-3 (VOTE!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by xX_NASTY_Xx, Jul 26, 2009.

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  1. xX_NASTY_Xx

    xX_NASTY_Xx Guest

    [​IMG]



    WEEK 16



    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.​
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  2. MC Guttso

    MC Guttso Fingers in Pies

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
    Messages:
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    Checkity check

    I'm not promising anything

    Alternate

    I already said there is no probs with an extension dude....
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  3. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,670
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  4. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
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    i, who have nothing but the comfort of an extension?

    fuck these deadlines for my graphic design work, keep getting in the way.

    upto you bruh, otherwise i will vacate the throne for you ...

    [turn] ...
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  5. MC Guttso

    MC Guttso Fingers in Pies

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
    Messages:
    480
    Time for Change

    A lost infant in a dark barren field,
    The skull will scar his heart with chills,
    With backs to the wall we mask the kills,
    Laugh whilst foreign dads die on hills,
    We don’t cry for orphans with no life or skill,
    Your wife is ill; your son has string for shoes,
    Crying through the strife of no drink or food,
    Zombified at the type of this sinking doom,
    Whilst the west like to dance and drink on through,
    They never think of you in their mixed up views,
    We have hip-hop tunes, things to do everyday,
    Armies of skeletons on the brink of their grave,
    All he can do is keep his chin up and pray,
    In a third world that brings minimal change,
    It’s such a critical phase, cash really helps,
    It builds schools and a flash of some health
    We’re in a rat race of material wealth..
    Delirious we forget about all the ills of the world,
    Delve deep in the passions of every boy and girl,
    Teach them to run but let them walk as well,
    Because it’s hard to move in thoughts of hell,
    Torturous smells, he screams but it’s hard to yell,
    Well…its whole shanty towns marred with disease,
    Whilst we love stars, drive fast cars and kill trees,
    Countries on their knees with a fist full of seeds,
    Whilst yuppies sit to dine on a Christmas feast,
    Please listen I don’t care how cliché it sounds,
    I want poverty to end, and I want it stopped now


    [​IMG]
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  6. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    so, is that a yes to the extension?

    just want to know if it is, don't really want to have to write up a verse and then find out i got mainstream'd.

    killah verse, btw ...

    [turn] ...
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  7. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    its extended Nu
    test
  8. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,670
    serene nightmares.

    [​IMG]

    if sleep is the cousin of death, then my nightmares/
    just-might-be-its-identical-twin, yeah they might scare/
    the ancient gods and leaders of men, 'coz my minds lair/
    inflicts scars upon my mental within, but i strike fear/
    and fight tears, 'coz these visions serene, right here?/
    are soothing to the mind, none of it my might fears/
    now my plight steers .. to a great height of stairs/
    much rather take the elevator, as tonight's sight clears ..

    .. i'm in the angle and range, of angel's rage/
    i feel strangled in cages, shackled in chains/
    my mindstate found it's abode in anarchy/
    i'm in the fire of hell. cold. panicking/
    paranoiid, my heart beats as i stand up/
    only to witness, both of my hands cut/
    hearing noises .. the choices i made/
    my ear starts to bleed as the voice fills with rage/
    i'm guarding the garden of black roses/
    where a dead white dove lay, its' wings broken/
    .. killed by the pricks of the plant itself/
    then i see a bunch of sages, plan in stealth/
    in hooded cloaks, practising the rituals of pagans/
    sacrifising blood under the witness of satan/
    darkness surrounds me as i sweat blood/
    is this the final destination, for a dead thug?/

    dark dwellings, this is where the toughest of us/
    we start yelling, burns and turns the roughest to dust/
    i'm not telling any soul what i see inside/
    my mind, relishing my next sleep with bleeding eyes/

    .. black clouds rain fire, as the sun hides/
    screams of mothers can be heard, coz their suns died/
    filling up entire countries with their soundwaves/
    breaking glass of the buildings, the ground shakes/
    i see torsos of corpses, hurl in the wind/
    as i make sweet love to the girl in the ring/
    envisioning, christians nailed upon the crucifix/
    as their own priest cast stones, spooky shit/
    the semetic blood .. sprays upon their holy wall/
    caused by blind ignorance, claiming holy war?/
    'coz the muslims, why are you all acting stupid?/
    building mosques, with minars that are crooked?/
    using infants in your infantry? the smallest hurse?/
    for a "suicide bomber"? that's so cold it hurts/
    bad enough as things are, they could be-alot worse/
    if we further invoke the wrath upon God's Curse/

    putting laughter in slaughter, my fuckin' mind hurts/
    but no length of horror, could quench my blind thirst/
    for these visions that i witness in the dead of the night/
    devil clooaaked in the robes of the blesss-ed messiah/
    my chest feeling harder, and heavier by the beat -/
    - of my heart as i suffer from paralysis in sleep/
    reading vicious depiction of fictional pictures/
    a fling left me lingering in ditches for bitches/
    now instead of silent nights, i see such violent sights/
    close my eye lids tight, just to view the tyrants fight/
    in an asylum right now, i sit, i rhyme, i write/
    the dark passages of my life, in hope to find the light/
    kneel on my right, pray to the Lord - i'm weak/
    see, i'm the priest from the previous week, so to speak/
    but still i close my eyes, anticipate another expedition/
    i awake to the screams within an egyptian prison ...


    cheers tee ...

    [turn] ...
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  9. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2001
    Messages:
    14,243
    ok this was a killer batt;e between you two, great verses by both. MC Guttso, sorry to hear about your brother, I hope he is okay, and I hope he finds whatever help he needs. On with the breakdown

    Guttso - You definitely have an amazing writers voice. I always love the way in which you word your topics, its always very refreshing to read your works, very enjoyable to read. Its almost like I don't have to critique much when reading your verses rather than just enjoy a really good story. So thats a big bonus. However my only gripe with your verse, I think you could have came a little more complex with rhyme scheme, knowing what Nu'maaN is capable of. However your personal life might have affected your writing this week which is completely understandable. Either way, minimal issues with your verse otherwise very well written story this week. Props


    I loved this part here:

    "Your wife is ill; your son has string for shoes,
    Crying through the strife of no drink or food,
    Zombified at the type of this sinking doom,
    Whilst the west like to dance and drink on through,
    They never think of you in their mixed up views,
    We have hip-hop tunes, things to do everyday,
    Armies of skeletons on the brink of their grave"

    really dope.


    Nu'maaN - Once again another stellar verse. You fail to dissapoint my friend. as I was reading the begining of your verse I was like oh shit, your on the same type of vibe I was when writing my begining of my verse. so you immediately had my attention. I thought the "ight - are" rhymes in the start were a tad overused, but none the less you did well with it. Like Guttso, you have such a way about your words that always has me eager to read your verses. Writers voice in this piece was top notch as your wording and descriptive lines clearly showed. well done..like Guttso a very enjoyable verse.

    this was the best battle this week IMO. BOTW. Hard to effectively vote on two emcees so equally skilled and well rounded as writers. you both exemplify the abilty to write verses with a wide range of versatility. with that said I have to go with the structure and complexity of Nu'maaN. Head up Guttso you wrote an incredible verse as well, just not quite as structed mechanically as Nu'.

    v - Nu'maaN
    Posted via Mobile Device
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  10. -Fac3-

    -Fac3- Will punch the shit out u

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Messages:
    1,343
    lol you can always tell when a voter really likes a battle due to the length of feedback they give....First of all you guys are assholes for making me vote on this...With that being said, let's get to it....

    Guttso - Deep topic here and I have often thought of doing something similar in one of my pieces. Guttso man there isn't much I can say to you as far as critiquing goes. You have one of the most polished styles in the league and your flow is top notch. I would like to see some length from you though. Your p[ieces always pack a large punch in a small package so to speak. It seems like you stop short or just don't enjoy writing novels. TBH I wanted to keep reading this piece far beyond it's end. I think you have one of , if not the THE, strongest writer's voices in the league. Dope piece here and it really was an awesome job......

    Numaan - Dope. that pretty much sums it up. you're writing style is one that is very unique and very well done. You have ryhmes for days at the end, beginning, and within your verse. Your imagery is really almost unmatched imo. I do notice you have a nack for really getting into your pieces when it is a darker topic. I think your imagery shines through alot more in these pieces. I like the reference to last week's piece as well as it gave insight into the mindset of the character. Like guttso, there is not a whole lot I can critique you on as you are also one of the most polished writer's in the league. So props on a job well done.

    In the end, I hate choosing a winner for this. Both writers are top notch and both deserve a firy hell for making me vote. lol. In the end, I think Numaan is waaay more descriptive with his verses while Guttso is more of a powerful voice in his. Mechanics are damn near equal and there really isn't an edge for either opponent in that department. I do think that Guttso really should make his pieces longer for the reader as that is the ONLY reason I don't have him winning here. It just stopped way to soon for me to really give you the win while Nu had an equally dope verse that, for lack of bettter words, went the distance. That is not to say that if you have the longer verse I will vote for you, but I think Nu just had more time to really develope the character and capture alot more imagery in his verse than Guttso did. Easily BOTW here and one of teh best battles I have read in the recent weeks. Props to a job well done to the both of you. I am not sure if your brother played a role in the length of your verse Guttso, but hopefully next week you return with another one of your killer pieces. Dope batttle...

    Vote - Nu
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  11. liquid`acid

    liquid`acid gods busy can I help you?

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2005
    Messages:
    13,603
    Guttso:

    excellent excellent verse and very true, im definitely feelin this an agree with what yer gettin at, my one tiny itsy bitsy beef with it is...
    i dont really feel you like personified somethin that wasnt already human

    im not sure what else to say, you kill it with the writing on a level i hope to attain. just feel like you focused more on the something important to us aspect a lil too much


    Nu'nizzle:

    for a religeous fellow you sure to write some dark ass verses, which is a good thing i might add lol

    im unsure or exactly what you were writing about? ima make a stab in the dark an say religeon? hhhmm just check the title of the verse an still dont kno but i like the verse lol.

    moving along, your writing was top notch quality def on par with guttso in that respect, i dont really have anything constructive to say about your writing itself altho i think putting '/' at the end of almost every line isnt necessary



    aaaahhh damn i have to actually say one of these is better dont i? well, i uuhh... hhhmmm thin ima give it nu, his verse appeals to my reclusive depressed summer personality more, if it was winter here id probably be given it to guttso.
    vote = nu
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  12. DirtBoy69

    DirtBoy69 why is this wrong?

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,619
    guttso-good verse straight forward flow, good topic and you used it well. vocab alright no problems here good job 7.5/10

    numaan-good structure and vocab nice dark topic too. really good nice flow i cant say anything bad about this 8/10

    vote-- numaan i hate to pick here actually it was really close but if i have too then it'd be nu maan good battle though
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  13. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    13,681
    guttso - this really put me to sleep...there's a lot that you can do with the topic you chose and you approached it in an incredibly cut and dry approach that really offered me nothing as a reader...add some life to your writing ffs.

    nu - i thought this verse was pretty cool and you're clearly one of the better writers in the league atm...personally I'd really appreciate if you stopped with the / at the end of all of your bars especially when most of what you write flows from the end of one bar into the start of the next...beyond that, step your rhyme scheme up...there's a lot you can do to become a better writer.

    vote = Nu for having a more entertaining verse.
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  14. xX_NASTY_Xx

    xX_NASTY_Xx Guest

    tough call fellas
    you know i'm not one to break down verses
    i'm on my phone and can't type out what it is
    so
    flow=nu
    topic=gutt
    vocab=nu
    mechanics=nu

    i know gutts head was elsewhere but he still had a strong showing
    nu came in swinging.... damn near flawless showing as usual
    vote- the champ nu
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  15. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    Nu bought more to the plate here .. Gutts has his reasons for a brief verse in a champ match and it's a shame his time was cut in to in such a fashion as it has .. the concept was one of a heartfelt nature but I think you need to do it in an interesting way to catch attention nowadays as it's an overly used topic in all fairness .. the flow was safe and that but it lacked spark in the end .. Nu crafted a stronger verse and deserves to keep his seat at the top this week ..

    Vote - Nu'maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan ..
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