[Week 16] [Championship] C. Nu'MaaN(9-2) vs 2. Ace the Prophet(9-6) (VOTE!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by T.a.C, Jul 20, 2009.

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  1. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    [​IMG]



    WEEK 16



    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.​
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  2. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,669
    checking in.

    the votes will go here ...

    [turn] ...
    test
  3. Ace the Prophet

    Ace the Prophet A Prophet to the Game

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,343
    Checkin in as well
    test
  4. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,669
    se7en.

    reflections of confessions, in a journal that i use/

    woke up from a dream, giving sermons while on booze/
    hit the sooze, switch on news, it's monday the first/
    a fresh start? far from it, mundane at worst/
    tame my thirst with some milk, no time for breakfast/
    i break fast, almost crash, why do i drive so reckless?/
    the problem lies within the greed for root of all evil/
    the beautiful legal tender, luring all people/

    ...

    i peek through, heavy eyes to realize i'm late/
    not surprised at my fate, another groundhog day/
    last night i had a date, with the devil in stockings/
    the lust that possessed me, was terribly shocking/
    couldn't hear the heavens mocking, i thought i'd won the lotto/
    coz all these bitches looked like models from the bottom of a bottle/
    .. let's just pray that God will, guide me in the right path/

    ...

    looking back on my last entry, when did i write that?/
    i'll be right back .. what did i eat last night?/
    that's right, never have i had a feast that nice/
    we could feed that rice, to the needy and poor/
    but the beast that hides, told me 'eat - this is yours'/
    not recieving the calls of our saviour, jesus christ/
    hope today, i don't encounter another sleepless night/

    ...

    the sound of my alarms, on a course of collision/
    with my anger due to lack of sleep, which forced my decision/
    to rid them all, 'coz in rhythm they continue buzzing at me/
    won't be happy 'til they all in the trash, i'm snapping/
    these happenings, i loathe, my temper eludes my control/
    i then abuse all my faults, 'coz i'm losing my soul/
    to the wrath i inherit, fiend to find an escape/

    ...

    i'm dreaming, i'm late, yester-evening was great/
    can't recall much data, from my graveyard of braincells/
    my pain yells, sober but hungover, there's a faint smell/
    of whisky, marijuana, man i wanna get married/
    but which women can i honour, on a government salary?/
    fuck this shit i quit, much rather work for the dole/
    coz my sloth gives no fuck if i am hurting my soul/

    ...

    it's the weekend i sleep in, the whole day, i feel spent/
    the demons seek my weak end, yet i carelessly feed them/
    i'm bleeding blood of jealousy, i saw my ex again/
    at last nights event, hand in hand with a businessman/
    none of my business man, but i plot envious schemes/
    having dreams so obscene, i hear the friendliest screams/
    'i'll send him the scenes, of when we fucked', are my threats/

    ...

    the venom in my envy for my woman - it just spreads/
    throughout serene nightmares, envisioning the hell/
    .. i awake on a sunday, mourning, wishing i could yell/
    through the dullest father-fucking boring, lecture at church/
    .. the worst part is i'm the one lecturing, it hurts/
    but too much pride within lurks, it won't show my depression/
    as i'm sitting here, wishing i could fast forward confessions/


    'coz it's testing my patience, as the oldest of reverands/
    regretting every day spent, now you know why i'm stressing/
    oh seventh heaven, i've committed seven sins in seven days/
    .. accept these seven bars for every sin at heaven's gates/
    as my form of repentance, i converse with myself/
    i yell in this cell but nobody emerges for help/
    i fear your scourges in hell, that you got in store for me/
    may your glorious mercy shine upon my poor story/
    nearing forty, man i'm hoping someone stumbles on my words/
    so they can see a righteous man's seven blunders of this world ...


    * the "..." signifies one day has passed in the journal (if you weren't able to pick it up through the rhymes).

    good luck ace ...

    [turn] ...
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  5. Ace the Prophet

    Ace the Prophet A Prophet to the Game

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,343
    Good shit. Once again I need an extension. I'll have it up tomorrow by like mid-day or so
    test
  6. Ace the Prophet

    Ace the Prophet A Prophet to the Game

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,343
    Sunset Boulevard

    It’s another vivid sunrise that I’ve stayed awake for
    Wondering if it’s really worth it that I take more
    Of the pain and the blame that I ain’t even pay for
    Tell me that this ain’t war that stays behind the same door
    As the rewards of achieving these accomplishments
    That’s gotten me speeding on this road to astonishment
    With no other consequence than moral immortality
    Shower me with confidence and watch as it empowers me!
    Now how could we have known what this fame’s leaving behind
    My family’s abandoned me for reasons undefined
    Wonder if it’s cancer from standin’ under the shine
    But I’m in love with this crime, baby come intertwine
    With the fineness of my line, you can be my highness
    Come into my lane, you can overcome your shyness
    Open up your nostrils, let it clear your sinus
    Indulge into the rush and let’s put everything behind us!
    The sun is just rising, the clock is barely tickin’
    My aura stays strong while my crowd is star-stricken
    As I’m getting in the fast lane, forgettin’ my last name
    It’s a first name basis when you’re getting’ in this cash game
    You can’t blame me though, I’m all alone on this road
    Out in front of the pack with nowhere to go
    So why they chasing me though? I’m just living a dream
    Now who the hell are you to be gettin’ in between
    This cream and a vision that’s got me on a mission
    To be on magazine covers in the cockiest positions
    Stocked with propositions and million dollar contracts
    With my own getaway in the Adirondacks
    You can’t get beyond that, so I’m pushing full throttle
    Hittin that hyper-speed while I’m watchin’ y’all waddle
    Crawlin’ to the finish line while I’m on the pedestal
    Thinking of my baby girl looking so angelical
    This is so incredible, why didn’t I foresee this?
    I can’t live without the fame, I’m swearing now I need this
    No teachers or principals could teach all the principles
    To live this kind of life with leaving it in critical
    Condition in a life that’s truly hard
    I’m hoping now that the sun never sets on this boulevard​
    test
  7. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2001
    Messages:
    14,245
    this was a good battle!

    Nu'maaN - damn it son, you wrote an exceptional verse here, I really enjoyed reading this for the third time now, and I still enjoy it very much. Excellent writers voice in this piece, as I read the story as I percieved this pastor/reverend having his difficulties dealing with his own sins, then having to preach, you captured the whole story quite well. very well done. probably my favorite verse from you yet. Props.

    Ace - dude I absolutely love your opening, the "pain I aint even paid for" line was dope. I think you also did well constructing your story talking through the life of a star. I think you could have wrote a little longer verse and made your story a little more dynamic IMO. otherwise a very nice verse!

    Im going to go with Nu'maaN on this vote just because I feel his story was a little more developed. Ace you did well, just get back up again for next week bro.

    v - Nu'maaN
    Posted via Mobile Device
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  8. MC Guttso

    MC Guttso Fingers in Pies

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
    Messages:
    480
    Nu'maaN - great topic, well delivered, nice rhyme schemes all in all and a very nice flow. It was very well constructed and delivered too. I liked the preists conflict with himself and his actions versus his devotion to christain morals. He's fully aware of his actions and he thinks that what he is doing is wrong. Some say "ignorance is bliss" in this case the priest feels guilt for his wrongdoings and I like how you portayed this. Favourite stanza was number five! Great showing.

    Ace - You had some strong vocab here I've always liked your writer's voice and how you set your scene. Flow was mediocre, good in places and not so good in others. Rhyming principals and principles was annoying and I didn't connect with the story this week. The imagery wasn't as powerful as it could have been. I'm disappointed to have to say it again but not the best showing I've seen from you...

    v - Nu'maaN.
    test
  9. Restproof

    Restproof Clockwork

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    160
    Nu:

    Stanza 1
    I liked the montage-like telling of this person's story. Quick snapshots. The pacing of the flow and simple imagery acheived this. The closer was sort of bleh, though.

    Stanza 2
    Nothing spectacular here. Best line was probably the sixth. Nothing groundbreaking about it's content, but the alliteration and multi rhymes were very nice.

    Stanza 3-4
    Nice rhyme scheme.

    Stanza 6
    Nice rhyme scheme. Story picks up a little here too, which is a good thing. But I also want to say about the closer, I hate it when the wording is so Shakespearean and awkward simply to accomodate a rhyme and express the concept/story. The forcing is a turn off, but don't feel too bad, we've all seen this more often than not.

    Stanza 7
    Nice introspection and emotion. Then comes the awkwardness.

    Stanza 8
    Flow has a nice bounce to it, kind of Vinnie Paz style. Really draws you in to the character's mind.

    Overall:
    That title made me think of that dumb movie that came out recently that I never saw. I'm glad to see that you went the other way. Sometimes you didn't do enough justice to each particular sin, but it's fine, it would take novel to do so and you only have 64 lines. Also you'd expect someone to have the mainc haracter do some super crazy stuff, but you kept that in the mind, making it more personal in the end, which is a nice touch. Mechanics and all that were pretty well in place over all as well.

    _______


    Ace:

    Nice cadence, nodding me into the verse. Which brings me to nice multis and rhyme scheme. The mechanics were way solid and overall outdid your opponent. However, the story lacked. You didn't really say much that I wanted to get into.


    Overall, I have to give it to Nu'. Lesser but still decent mechanics were pushed over the finish line by story. Good job to all.

    Vote-Nu
    test
  10. DirtBoy69

    DirtBoy69 why is this wrong?

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2001
    Messages:
    1,619
    Nu'maaN - great topic, good rhyme schemes and a pretty solid flow. very well put together.solid story too. i can really see what people were saying in my battle the longer longer verses due make for a better story good job 8.5/10

    Ace - top notch vocab, i didn't mind the flow though it was simple in comparison to numaan's . imagery was good,story was easy to get into as well. against anyone else you'd of faired alot better i think but numaan was just on this week 7.5/10

    good battle either way

    vote - Nu'maaN.
    test
  11. Lucifa

    Lucifa Viva La Eva

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2001
    Messages:
    19,109
    Nu - can't really add anything you haven't already read in your votes by the time you get to this one .. well constructed verse that flowed steadily and showed good mechanics overall .. not faultless but it was written well and I enjoyed it ..

    Ace - a good showing by all accounts .. just lacked a spark to really get the votes in this match-up .. solid enough writing that I saw in you a good time ago .. kept the verse compact and I think you got the length just about right for the content ..

    Vote = Nu' .. just a better showing for my tastes ..
    test
  12. Soull

    Soull New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Messages:
    506
    Ok,

    Nu - It was cool to see this kind a verse written form a different perspective, you hadsome nice irony with the sinner being a priest. The only issue I had storywise was that suddenly this priest became a badass mofo and started shitting on what he believed in, I think maybe if it was more gradual or something, but thats quite minor. Mechanics were good in this and you had some rhyme schemes and multies that I enjoyed. Overall a very good verse.

    Ace - This was really good, not much story but you had some really awesome lines in this

    With no other consequence than moral immortality
    Shower me with confidence and watch as it empowers me!

    ^ That was incredible man.... really good stuff. The only thing you really lacked in this battle was direction.

    Overall a lot closer than votes are showing, but im gonna have to give this to Nu by a hair, because his story was more developed. Good shit people.

    Vote - Nu
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  13. -Fac3-

    -Fac3- Will punch the shit out u

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Messages:
    1,343
    Dope championship match...

    Nu - Nothing suprising as I was expecting something dope from you. I like the way you broke it down and the whole storyline was pretty clever. I notice you approach writing with ideas that few people tend to venture out and tackle. I like that aspect of your writing. I think this was no exception and you did a very good job here. Props to you.

    Ace - I have to agree with the majority, this was very dope as far as your mechanics and the flow etc...but I felt like the story was missing something. It didn't draw me in like you usually do and I think you might of rushed a bit more towards the ending. I still like it and think it was good, well above average. For a championship match with Numaan though, you need your mechanics plus a banging ass storyline and twist with it, and I felt like it just didn't get focused on this week....

    Vote - Nu
    test
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