[Week 15] [Championship] 1. ShadowWarriorfs(5-5) vs 2. Nu'MaaN(8-2) (VOTE!)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by T.a.C, Jul 13, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. T.a.C

    T.a.C Guest

    [​IMG]



    WEEK 15



    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM EST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 5 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.​
    test
  2. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,669
    brother shadow, best of luck mate.

    my votes will go in this post ...

    [turn] ...
    test
  3. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    test
  4. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,669
    i'm definately going to need a 24 hour extension, if that's okay with you shadow.

    gonna be a busy weekend ...

    [turn] ...
    test
  5. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    *granted*

    i'll drop in the am tomorrow
    test
  6. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    i don't have time to change my verse any soo i'll just drop it how it is :-D...

    {Preparation}

    After weeks of bickering, lyrically I seek a victory
    Speak till your sick of me; strictly teeth eat a hickory
    Quickly equip weaponry, strip sight with kleptocracy
    Kick and bite with ferocity, impossible for a loss for me
    Envious of my imagery, symmetry bleeds from this entity
    I might simply be, energy flowing from God intensity
    Instantly my task casts shadows amongst the ash fast
    I’ll fight half assed; still I’m confident I might win
    Hence I’m not frightened, senses now heightened
    Shook like lightning makes me tense while writing
    I rave my rendition, my grip sticks to weather it
    Gaze the competition, ah shit, his verse is horrid
    My dick forfeits better spits and it practices abstinence
    Arrogance elevates my presence, essences attracts elegance
    Battles tactics now irrelevant, hence
    Warriors get sacrificed as they rebel against
    My torturous Kross that even Christ fell against

    {8-0 loss}

    Wtf just happened, not a soul has stood up clapping
    Audience must be actors, yet the spectators kept laughing
    I knew he was on the rise but in my eyes, he kept taunting
    His head held high, "Blast it!" i said, his face now ecstatic
    His hand extends expecting me to grab it, "faggot"
    I slap it away, mind set to stab it, no remorse to bag it
    Maybe it's a force of habit, behavior sets course to drastic
    I run home, grab a knife, rum in ice, set to stun a fag of life
    I approach with rags and strife, its just him and his wife
    My rage itching, blade twitching, heart childish, age switching
    Voice in heat as I engage him in a new stage of bitching
    His expression becomes lackluster, “Stay back buster!”
    “Buster?!?” I mustered, raising my hand to act tougher
    A shot is fired, my eyes become shocked and tired
    Falling back into a stranger's car, "Stop or I errr..
    I errr...." Blood stain the stranger's shocks and tires
    I attempt to retreat from my defeat, my life is now dire
    “You can’t call that a win!” I cried as he turned calling me a liar
    I stumble into a dark alley, back against the wall
    Legs have begun to stall, heart broken, energy about to fall
    Staring at this single vent, “He’s like a kid to me”
    Eyes gloss like a shingle, spent, “he won’t get rid of me”
    Sight focuses on sorrow as I attempt to borrow
    A little bit of dignity, complaints have become my insignia
    I looking at anyone for one fight, I collapse in the shadows
    As if my heart was allergic to the sunlight, soul shatters apart
    As I wonder why I brought this knife to a gunfight, one might
    Assume that in this night, I’d be done, right? Hell..
    I guess time will tell…​
    test
  7. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    25,669
    the departed.
    [​IMG]

    don't judge a book by its cover, when the author is God/
    lesson-i-took-from-my-mother, her departure was hard/
    .. a torturous fall, she now resides with her Lord/
    and ever since, i've been unable to abide by the law/
    .. my heaven in this hell, i was seven, yeah i yelled/
    from august to december, i remember it well/
    there was no answer to the cancer, that rest in her brain/
    all the stress from the pain, had depressed her insane/
    but the lesson i gained, earth continues its course/
    nobody gives a fuck, you have to take it by force/
    .. i fought tears within, for whom had brought me in/
    i could've been within a bin of an abortion clinic/
    .. 'coz 24 years ago, a precious lady was raped/
    in the same alley way, where fate paved its way/
    it's where i lay my head to rest, 17 years running/
    'coz the rent went from late, to unpaid - no money/
    no foster adopted, fuck these unjust governments/
    who don't bother poor bastards, unless it's tough punishment/
    if a child in the hood, doesn't have a child hood?/
    i grew up wild in my hoodie, looking for firewood/
    and i would, burn trash, the bin was my heat/
    in the chilliest of nights, i'd sleep on concrete/
    my feet fell, i felt defeat, found a craze to blaze/
    it was love at first sight, remain dazed for days/
    used to sell it, now i reslish every gram i can scram/
    to get lifted, then think of more scams i can plan/
    said farewell to welfare, 'coz who in this hell cares?/
    compelled tears for years, and never have i felt scared/
    i smell fear, and disgust from the eyes of the masses/
    as i walk in a hoodie, so i can hide all my slashes/
    and lashes from bashings, the sad shit about it/
    even if i plead self defence, while im bleeding - they'll doubt it/

    but fuck them - no matter how hard they try and provoke/
    how they gonna break somebody, that is already broke?/
    i choke on my smoke, i'm a rose amongst thorns/
    my vocal chords torn, from when i mourned in the storm/
    .. shed tears in the rain, so no one sees my pain/
    i've had to whisper, write on the walls to keep me sane/
    street diction with spray cans, while the city snores/
    if talk is considered cheap, then graffitti is a whore/
    i'm the needy, i'm the poor, my occupation's survival/
    my final chapter's arrival, where patience was my rival/
    it's vital, i like to aid the oppressed when i can/
    so i ran towards the girl's screams, seen an old man/
    i'm facing a rape scene, thoughts pace in my head/
    is this the same being that was the cause for mother's death?/
    out of breath, as i step, yes i'm yielding a knife/
    at this heathen who lies, ontop - she screams for her life/
    such an unfair affair, now the sirens are heard/
    the violence disperses, my arrival had purpose/
    but i silently converse, with God - 'why'd cops fire at the person'/
    'who emerged from the shadows just to help, am i cursed?'/
    she smiles at me, hurt, a rape victim but my rage flipping/
    'coz i've been shot by a cop, if not dead - it's state prison/
    .. fuck this fake system, pure prejudice and brainless/
    my aim is to show you there's no blood on my stainless/
    the pain is, raping my soul, yeah it's taking its toll/
    no change given, my image fades upon the walls/
    in the streets of melbourne, life was hard - it was torture/
    so never judge a book by its cover, when God is the author ...


    it's all one verse, i just split it up so it's easier to read.

    votes may now be casted ...

    [turn] ...
    test
  8. -Fac3-

    -Fac3- Will punch the shit out u

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Messages:
    1,343
    So I haven't started reading yet, but as the I skim the verses in looks like this is going to shape up to be a pretty good read here....ok read them, on to the break downs...

    Shadow - Damn, Shadow man, I can honestly say this is the best piece I have seen from you yet. Your ryhming in this piece was definately waaaaay more polished than past verses and the multis were killing it. My only complaint with them was that at times it seemed forced and wasn't as smoothly flowed as well as it could be, but damn I am impressed with the improvement of them. As for the story, it was also written well and the imagery in it, while not as strong as it could have been, was also waaay better than usual. You really brought the guns out in this thread, no pun intended. Very good showing man, and I think you did a really good job here.....

    Nuuman - Man, your writer's voice is outstanding here and the flow and mechanics of how you wrote this is really on point. Dope verse and there isn't really a whole lot to really critique. The imagery is really vivid and the story itself is awesome. I think you deserve the championship and this verse is a prime example of why.

    Nothing against you shadow, but Nuuman is just murkin' anybody he faces the last few weeks. I do think shadow deserves alot of props for his drop this week as it was his best verse since I entered the league imo. really good match here but my vote has to go to numaaan

    Vote - numaan
    test
  9. MC Guttso

    MC Guttso Fingers in Pies

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
    Messages:
    480
    Ah Shadow, Shadow, Shadow - you have progressed in leaps and bounds. To me your writing is very hit and miss. Some weeks I find your verses awesome, others a bit disappointing. I don't know exactly what you were trying to convey here. I evaluated it to be your experiences so far in the RSTL and how you feel about it. I don't know if it was meant to be a serious showing or not, it came across as more comical to me. Funny lines in the first stanza included: "Warriors get sacrificed as they rebel against
    My torturous Kross that even Christ fell against" and "Wtf just happened, not a soul has stood up clapping
    Audience must be actors, yet the spectators kept laughing" This verse was a bit "miss" to me this week, I didn't really get it, I didn't connect with it, imagery wasn't amazingly vivid or anything and the topic did feel a bit bland. I didn't think the flow was that good either. BUT I can see that your rhyming technique is getting a lot better, despite having the multies there it is quite unorthodox, mechanically it reminds me of the way I wrote a few months back actually. Not bad dude.

    Nu'maaN - I think you did what you had to do this week and you outshone your opponent with ease. The flow was awkward a lot of the time in this verse. Very incosistent, sometimes great, sometimes poor. E.G. "my heaven in this hell, i was seven, yeah i yelled/
    from august to december, i remember it well/
    there was no answer to the cancer, that rest in her brain/
    all the stress from the pain, had depressed her insane/
    but the lesson i gained, earth continues its course/
    nobody gives a fuck, you have to take it by force/" < GOOD FLOW
    "i fought tears within, for whom had brought me in/
    i could've been within a bin of an abortion clinic/
    .. 'coz 24 years ago, a precious lady was raped/
    in the same alley way, where fate paved its way/
    it's where i lay my head to rest, 17 years running/
    'coz the rent went from late, to unpaid - no money/
    no foster adopted, fuck these unjust governments/
    who don't bother poor bastards, unless it's tough punishment" < POOR FLOW. I think this was due to awkward wording that didn't fit perfectly with the whole beat if you get what I'm saying.
    I much preferred the second half. Some really dope quotables like the being already broke line, the rose amongst thorns, and the graffiti whore! And the twist at the end of the story was cool.

    You gave us a good battle guys. Just not your best though, imo...

    v - Nu'maaN.
    test
  10. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    crap...forgot the picture....it was the same as nu'maans

    yea my verse won't be understood if u were here 2 weeks ago
    test
  11. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2001
    Messages:
    14,245
    I have to agree with guttso on this, as shadow, you did well in the sense that you have improved heaps from a couple weeks ago, and even though you had some multies in here I just don't think it was quite enough. a very nice improvement, but it wasn't enough to out-do Nu'maaN this week.

    nu'maan your verse was just outstanding, and as guttso said a few lines in there were a little choppy with the flow, I do feel that your writers voice is incredible. he quoted exactly what I would have.. the broke line was the icing IMO. just very standout lines in this nice delivery of the story and I loved how it ended. very well done, and deserving of the Champion title most definitely.

    good showing shadow, just not good enough for what nu'maan brought to the table this week.

    v - nu'
    Posted via Mobile Device
    test
  12. Ace the Prophet

    Ace the Prophet A Prophet to the Game

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,343
    Breakdown

    Shadow- Lmao, love the concept man. Your verse definitely would piss him off if he was here to read it. You've gotten a much better flow over the course of the season and generally you're much, much better. Like I said in the predictions, no one can take you lightly now as you're always showing up. Good shit

    Nu- Man, everything you've been writing these last few weeks has been dope as hell. This was no exception. Awesome rhyme schemes, great flow, great descriptions, this was just a very, very well written piece. Diggin the story a lot as well. Good shit

    Like what everyone else has said, Shadow just ran into the wrong competition this week. You had a great verse but Nu's is just on another level right now. Good battle and good verses from both

    Vote- Nu
    test
  13. Soull

    Soull New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Messages:
    506
    Ok,

    Shadow : You come up with some nice concepts man, and I really liked the
    way it was an attack on someone, without it being a battle verse. Your
    vocab and the way you use it has also definately improved. Good verse
    this week man.

    Nu : I liked the story and how it all came round in a full circle, very neat.
    Your metaphors and imagery were top notch this week, and your flow
    for most of the part, was decent.

    A lot closer than votes are showing, but I think Nu edged it out with
    his imagery. Good battle people.
    Vote - Nu
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)