[Week 15][Champ] C. Coup d'etat(3-0) vs 2. Patrown(2-1) vs 3. ShadowWarriorfs(10-4)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Apr 24, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
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    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
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    VOTING


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    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
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    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    cheek

    athem this week

    test
  3. patrown

    patrown student for life

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    test
  4. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    Shadow's verse


    Here is a quick key. Can you post this for me when u put up the matches for next week? thanks






    Keep Shinning



    Charles had nothing; a man too broke to be a slave
    Choked because the world wanted him to behave
    Reaching for the star but realizing his arms were too short
    A sport he felt optimistic about competing in
    But it wasn’t realistic to shout at the hand feeding him
    So Charles regressed, marking the disappointments on his leg
    Hoping tomorrow would be different, on his knees he begged
    For a chance to shine, he just wanted an opportunity
    Just like Romeo and Juliet fighting for unity
    But each day ended the same, more cuts in his skin
    Blade in hand, wondering where he could begin
    Searching but realizing he had no space left
    It was pointless to cry, it would only waste his breath
    A lonely savage waiting for crumbs to hit the floor
    He began to envy the way the birds could just forget and soar
    Into the clouds leaving behind their worries and fears
    So Charles climbed instead of waiting for miracles to appear
    As the world belittled him, Charles kicked harder
    With each insult, Charles felt his moving farther
    From the bottom until his nose breeched the surface
    He could finally breathe he was no longer worthless
    As he continued to climb wanting to reach the sky
    He could now feel the stars encouraging him to fly
    So Charles kept kicking, attempting to spread his wing
    Closing his eyes embracing freedom, humming what the birds sing




    [​IMG]
    test
  5. patrown

    patrown student for life

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    full extension requested. will show.. can't start until late tomorrow.
    test
  6. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
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    Wouldn't that be funny...

    If you ate hamburgers and daffodils
    In Indo China laughing at cinema films
    If you played Nintendo with an Australian
    Sinned so hard on Pentecost with Ethiopians
    If you told lies as jokes with fifteen one liners
    Laughed it off and pulled it over Mr. Oppenheimer
    Who's that ? I don't fucking know, a bad ass
    It's all because funny people are the saddest

    Wouldn't that be funny...

    If you lost your home in economic crashes
    Held it in, n' in your mind is all chronic madness
    If you lost your child to the sate social workers
    Still keep her room exactly but never fight for her
    And in your mind are shades of all the eternal shine
    But you're blinded by tears, showing that hurtful side
    You go to the show by yourself and order two drinks
    It's your birthday, but in your mind it's been two weeks
    You think of ways life should have been, could of been
    You are reminded of reality, here we go again, go again

    Wouldn't it be nice...

    If you stood up and said, "MAN THAT'S FUCKING IT"
    Cut all ties to forfeit everything now, as soon as it sets
    As good as it gets, you remove all your systemic regrets
    Wouldn't that be funny, if you left and hit the road
    Nobody noticed you gone (only cold and icicles know)
    And you walk with a back pack on, canned food dinners
    Three states away and still life is never gettin' better
    A cigarette in your ear and a match stick in your teeth
    Smoking so many dreams with that static on you feet

    You start to miss your Nintendo and your impromptu jokes
    Your daughter's up in the ward, you want to give up hope
    You wonder if Australia accepts outlaws, stoked to start over
    The ocean whispers a boat and your sail drifts apart, a loner

    You give it all up, even the road and her adventure
    No direction home, you feel the bite like dentures
    Not authentic anymore, no zest, or function to live
    You think of Indo China and Ethiopia and their kids
    Out of food now and your gut sticks to your spine
    With your face in dirt you give up, sick, out of time
    Wouldn't that be funny if you didn't live in the wild
    You could die and never have to forsake your child

    You look up to the apex of your situation now
    Up in some astral nirvana, death executes on clouds
    Watchin' them part, you see your daughter... it can't be
    She is smiling, looking at you, and you are so fucking happy

    You scream at everything above in vain, it's too late:

    "I love you baby,
    Some day maybe
    On this last night
    Laugh with me baby
    I miss you daily
    I lost us both
    How sad you must be
    Lost in my mind lately
    I'm going to make you feel real bad
    When you try to find your way home"

    That would be funny, if this wasn't really happening




    .
    test
  7. patrown

    patrown student for life

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    the downward spirals a black hole in my soul.
    lack of control over the beast feeding on breathing lungs
    seeking the strum of a violin dreaming of purple tongues
    lurk on the rungs of purgatory in a life that seems so different
    from the one i knew before.. when life was what it isn't
    my vision's twisted, like i've existed for no reason
    but i know i'm dealin with the devil and im not tryna please him
    my actions aren't exactly chosen by me..
    i'm frozen in seas of oceans turned to salty ice
    freezing tears before they leave my eyes from a faulty vice
    clutching sweating sheets trying to stop the cycle's unbearable
    and living the life between trying's before now unsharable
    i swear.. ive pulled all i can in my heart to break free
    but that fucking dragon always chases me
    when grace seems in grasp
    the sky's lights with the fire of its laugh
    lighting a path on the blackened brick road to where i die
    it's grip grows firm as the shit storm stirs
    wind burning faces off with ashes from urns

    Now Say Goodbye
    test
  8. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    test
  9. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

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    Shadow:
    Reaching for the star but realizing his arms were too short
    A sport he felt optimistic about competing in
    But it wasn’t realistic to shout at the hand feeding him

    You left that first line kind of standing out there alone, but the way you used "sport" to rhyme with it in the beginning of the second line made it work. smart.
    At first, I was so sure you were talking about a horse, until you mentioned a hand. Then I took the time to actually read the quote in the picture.

    Just like Romeo and Juliet fighting for unity
    Nice. This is one of those pieces where if I look at the lines individually, it isn't too great, but they combine together to create a nice big picture. It was simple, but got the job done.
    There were lines like this one
    With each insult, Charles felt his moving farther
    that wasn't executed well, in my opinion. Uncharacteristic for you, but I'm chalking it up to you having to go out of town.

    Coup:
    And in your mind are shades of all the eternal shine
    Shades of all the eternal shine. damn, that's a line that i wish i wrote.
    death executes on clouds
    that too.

    I wasn't feeling this piece too much at my initial skim. But when I did that second thorough read, this was pretty well done. The concept of presenting the idea "wouldn't that be funny" and then making that shift to presenting things that aren't isn't groundbreaking by any means, but you did it really well here.
    I see you went against some of the advice you gave others here and had lines standing out on their own. Actually, you only did it once in the third stanza, but it rhymed with the following two so it worked. I didn't find myself having to start over to find the rhymes. The change from repeating "wouldn't that be funny" to saying "wouldn't it be nice" was a nice touch as well. Overall a very solid piece, I could tell you didn't want to lose the crown just yet.

    Patrown: A bit disappointed you pretty much no showed this week =\ Had high hopes for you man, but I'm sure you had your reasons.

    seeking the strum of a violin dreaming of purple tongues

    For me, that line was the highlight of your piece. Assuming this was a rushed piece, it wasn't half bad, however it was definitely a couple levels below your previous pieces.

    Vote: Coup. Out of the other two pieces, his offered a more intriguing concept and was more tightened up, also had some great lines. Shadow actually gave a better showing than I expected given his time constraint, but it was a bit too simple for me..
    test
  10. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    Coup wins in votes. after deductions, Coup and Shadow tie 0-0.
    test
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