[Week 14][Champ] C. TheInkwell(4-1) vs 2. Coup d'etat(2-0)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Apr 16, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Feb 25, 2008


    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you still must vote on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match!!! You WILL lose if you dont.
    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.


    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
  2. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Jun 19, 2009
    check, g'luck ink!

    my anthem this week:

  3. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    May 6, 2011
  4. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Jun 19, 2009
  5. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Jun 19, 2009


    Haunted by the memories of places I've been
    Of my faceless past sins, palpitations' & spins
    Running up endless stairs. Up lifes' downward slopes
    Knowin' the old, preparing up there Mountains of Hope
    But I'm twisted in cobwebs, trapped in insidious plots
    Just a spider asleep, life is feedin' the insects and rot
    Crawling to the surface like fat worms after hard rains
    My memory is power like dreams to bombard the profane
    My dreams go uninterpreted, like a letter never read
    It's the better end--I'm bitter for being altogether dead
    Fuck choices I made, pleasures are some how mutterings
    Just allow my voice to now measure out these sufferings:

    I'm still thirteen years old, joining a cult to find love
    I'm the awkward bookish boy, adults' lies soft like gloves
    Their acid acceptance is my emotional treasure... privacy
    Promise of fair weather but passive storms discern silently
    I'm still seven, watching a Venus Flytrap glowing mysterious
    As my parents joke at the end of a marriage, broke so furious
    I'm still seventeen, walking in my first bid of doomed freedom
    Somehow, even now I can't believe I just got rid of all reason

    I still live in my car, years after founding a new family
    Renting more permanent gigs. Astounding sings at agony
    All the police, and criminals, and false friends linger & chill
    Most are in my head; they're all sleepin' on my box springs still
    It's still my wedding day, the day of the birth of my child
    The day we got the autism diagnosis, welcomed with smiles

    It's the day my wife left me, and the day I left my wife
    It's today, my child and wife in the oceans called life
    Me on the shore, scribbling this essay in front of dolphins
    It's all those times, together with thirty nails in my coffin

    When you make truly significant life choices, remember this
    Before you age, or commit a crime, use drugs, flash your tits
    Or get married, or choose to be homeless: all splendor is shit
    Some of these choices are crossroads, a direction you choose
    Dreams can and will change you forever, a suggestion I use:

    Treat your mind as a museum you must curate
    In time a REBIRTH must come, it's not life but fate


  6. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    May 6, 2011
    TOPIC: You walk into a bar and sit down. You order a drink and begin looking around the bar. After awhile you begin to notice something about the bar was wrong. Explain.

    Clean, crisp, suit – a little scruff gives a man character
    Bartender’s eyes on me, two finger raise brings her over
    A slight smirk, wandering eyes to show I know she’s got it
    Go ahead and flaunt it like a museum my eyes attended
    “I’ll have a Gimlet, real lime juice… Gin, not vodka babe”
    She winks and slinks away, her ass sashaying a wave
    I may have made her night, but to me it’s another day
    I just might take her away, an answer to what she prayed
    I see a slight shadow in the corner of my i… ris
    A slender bare wrist that froze my heart like an ice… pick
    Me an’ her? We locked sights, I ain’t no locksmith
    Toothpick slipped from my lips and hit the floor like a dance mix
    Clear the throat and recollect myself… this is all me
    Something says she’ll see through me with vision that’s omni
    But never mind that, I smile and ask her what she’ll have
    “Cosmopolitan,” confident and no games, I’m feelin that
    Almond eyes, slightly tanned, bangs like a veil gracing her face
    Perky lips like a sheath, pointed to accommodate a blade
    That’s her tongue, yeah she stings, I can tell from her display
    Low cut dress stops at her thighs with the edges slightly frayed
    The dim lighting wraps her body like a sheet of gold
    I’m looking for the creases usually across the centerfolds
    Bartender brings my drink and her Cosmopolitan too
    I’m casting out my pheromones, tangled in her perfume
    I close the distance by some inches, eyeing the menu prices
    “Can you help me out? Girl, something’s wrong with that list
    It’s been bothering me ever since you walked through the door
    I see a lot of numbers up there, but… I don’t see yours”
  7. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Jul 28, 2011
    Well, this was very clearly a win for coup, the rhyme, flow, emotion and natural grace of the writing was over the top, ink, your story didn't really develop into much, not a bad piece by any means tho, just far less than what coup put in it. I actually liked the first bit where the rhymes were staggered off the end of the lines... no real complaints, just coup was on it more, if ink would've Vienna more story i think this maybe woulda turned out different.t

    Vote =Coup
  8. patrown

    patrown student for life

    Dec 5, 2011
    ehm.. i don't understand what you mean by "astounding sings at agony"

    i felt for the guy you portrayed, but the character felt unfinished to me... nothing happened with him. i'm left wondering how warm that lap top is and how long he'll make it.. the first two stanzas set a tone and walked the character through his life eloquently.
    but why's rebirth purple? why hallelujah? the guy didn't seem religious.. and it was very abrupt in the story. where did this come from bud?
    anyways, or get married or..
    just "get married or" might flow smoother.

    pretty laid back verse, entertaining and concise.

    ^that killed me.. was feeling that aspect of your tone.
    imo, irish and ice pick shouldn't have been separated by periods
    "omni" is supposed to be attached to a word.
    even if taken as "all," i read it like omnivorous, meaning "all"

    honestly, I was amused by your piece Ink. "bangs like a veil" etc.. even though a bit off, and amusing.. omni made me stop and look at it from it's place and it drew away from the story's appeal.

    /v coup. i was drawn into the story further than I was with ink's..
    they both had word usage errors but one had a much greater impact on how I read the story.. just a little bit more development from ink would have given him my vote. good match though. nice verses.
  9. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Apr 11, 2004
    quick vote before i hit the road

    I'd have to agree with everyone else here. Coup's story was just more solid than Inks. Coup broken his 16 line limit tho so he got minus points, j/k lol. Ink's problem here is that he made this story drag in areas. I know he was trying to give as much detail as possible but there were points where he didn't need to really go any further and could have progressed the story more. For example,

    "Toothpick slipped from my lips and hit the floor like a dance mix
    Clear the throat and recollect myself… this is all me"

    was just not needed, and could've been used to progress the story. Still, the story was entertaining, he just needs to pick and choose when to add descriptions and when to progress the story. \

    V/ Coup...good jobs guys, i'll see you in a week! maybe sooner for coup ;-) no homo
  10. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    May 6, 2011
  11. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Feb 25, 2008
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