[Week 11][Champ] C. ShadowWarriorfs(7-3) vs 2. Breathless(6-4)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Mar 27, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Feb 25, 2008


    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you still must vote on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match!!! You WILL lose if you dont.
    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.


    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
  2. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Apr 11, 2004

    Brighter Days

    She was exuberant, spreading joy wherever she could
    Helping in neighborhoods even before charities would
    An angel in the flesh in a world full of evil and violence
    A vocal leader in a town where people loved silence
    Seeing the defiance in people that Jenny tried to erase
    She was embraced by some while others received distaste
    Smiling at her while wearing a deceiver’s face
    Jenny knew the truth but still replied with taste
    Hoping they would change, hoping they could see the light
    Perhaps she was naïve, perhaps she could not win this fight
    But I admired her drive; she was what this world needed
    I had confidence in her but ‘He’ thought I was conceded

    It happened so quickly like locusts devouring a harvest
    They surrounded Jenny acting like vultures to a carcass
    Backing her into an alley as she tried to break free
    Tossing her to the damp ground, “Why do you hate me?”
    Her clothes drenched as their eyes pierced her skin
    They approached slowly, the air cold, hearts focused on sin
    She screamed for help but the wind muffled her voice
    She begs for mercy as tears leave her cheeks moist
    One of them kicked her in the face, breaking her nose
    Blood drips from her nostrils as a bruise now shows-
    Around Jenny’s left eye, she struggles to crawl away
    They follow her laughing and taunting her peaceful ways
    The leader kicked her in the stomach causing Jenny to scream
    The agony was unbearable as she remembered her dream-
    Of changing the world and helping others live in peace
    Jenny grips the wall hoping the pain would cease
    Trying to stand but collapsing from the sharp pains
    Jenny tried to stop the bleeding but the blood still drains
    The concrete turning red as they run, leaving her to die
    She blacks out, suddenly awakening to a small light in her eye
    A voice told her that she would be ok as she asked, “Where am I?”
    They told her that the baby was struggling to survive
    “Baby?!?” she said as the gases caused her to drift into sleep
    Jenny was unaware of the pregnancy that I tried to keep

    She had awaken hours later, her face wet from the tears
    Still shocked that she could be pregnant after all of these years
    The room stunk of stale blood as Jenny begins to cry
    Pleading and hoping her baby would not have to die
    “I would have been more careful.” She whispered
    “I would not have done so much.” I leaned in and kissed her
    Suddenly the baby screams and Jenny’s heartbeat stops
    The doctors’ quickly rush in as one points to the clock
    “Her breathing has stabilized, the time is 2:36am”
    Minutes pass as the doctors lift the baby up and approach
    Smiling, they placed the baby girl in Jenny’s arms
    She was swaddled as the nurses silence the alarms
    “I will call her Faith.” Jenny said as she held her tight
    Faith grabbed Jenny’s finger as tears cloud her sight
    Faith had her mother’s crystal blue eyes and a smile to match
    Cooing to show Jenny that she was already attached
    I gently whisper into Jenny’s ear

    “Hear me my child,
    You loved without needing to be loved
    You cared even when other refused to embrace it
    You gave your heart when many tried to waste it
    And you had Faith even when things looked grim
    Protect this child that I have blessed you with
    Cherish her, love her and show her the strength she needs
    And I will forever continue walking by your side…”

  3. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Jul 28, 2011
    Shite! Just got home from work, if I could get a couple hour extension, it'd be much appreciated, will post tonight by 2 or so
  4. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Jul 28, 2011

    The universal architecture is literally at my fingertips
    Spinning the weave, looming urgent over brittle strings where the seams have ripped
    I'll let the time/space continuum continue on through my future tense
    With a fleeting presence of gifts opened greedily with sutured hands
    The stance I refuse to walk away from has become quite burdensome
    At one time, certain I woulda spewed it all in an unkind fervent run
    Ranting and rambling off every last thought as its given in a divinely perfect rush
    But now, that I've seen what's to come, a nervous hush has washed over my openness
    No hope can uplift this lonesome drifter's sober indulgences
    I've seen all I need to and far more than I wanted to know
    To bestow this onus on another would be a dark souls ominous glow
    The problem is so much of the unsolveable, it's obvious...No
    I will not let you view the details of my visions, the knowledgeable premonitions
    I won't burden your mind with the frailty I live in...
    I honestly don't know how I go on livin'...
  5. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

    Oct 8, 2008
    Both went for it in this battle, but Shadow's more precise use of vocab along with the actal copious amount of bars, the flow of his story and the imagery that it evoked, the twists in the story and the way the whole fit the pic at the end of the story so very well...all this together gave him the nod in this battle.

    Both of you deserve props for your excellent work.
  6. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Apr 11, 2004
  7. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    May 6, 2011
    shadow: a really unexpected spin on this image. it was interesting how you gave the stork (or whatever your character is) god-like qualities and played with that by naming the baby Faith. The read was smooth and the storytelling was well done, using specifics and to create good imagery, but not lingering too long on one thing to keep the story moving along. at some points, the rhymes got a bit simple or repeated ending words, but the storytelling kept it from really being an issue. Overall a solid piece.

    breath: one thing you need to work on, both in this piece and last weeks piece, is how stretched out your lines can become. It's not incredibly bad, and in most cases it's just a slight bit.. but it's still something worth working on. you have a good vocabulary and the rhymes were good as well. won't dock you for posting a picture of the rest of your verse, but i gotta say it didn't make reading your piece easier. The ending wasn't as strong as i wished it was, and there are parts where i could see you were going for the rhyme, but the line could have been stronger if you opted for better wording.. ie. the last two lines of your verse - but that's pretty subjective.

    vote- Shadow
  8. Hawhk2e

    Hawhk2e New Member

    Mar 22, 2012
    ShadowWarriorfs(is that misspelled f?), I think your story/verse was cool. The imagery was pretty cool and it also flowed pretty well. A bit on the emo side but it didnt do much for excitement for me. Your techincal skills are very good here.

    Breathless, I didnt understand the use of the paper scan at the end of your verse? I couldnt even read it because I cannot clearly see it. But it started off pretty well with the vocabulary and flow. I wish you would have finished it.

    I have to vote for Shadowarriorfs ebcause i could not read the rest of breathless verse.
  9. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Jul 28, 2011
    The "scan" was a picture of the paper I wrote the rest of the verse on and couldn't type 'cause I was too tired and drunk, if you zoom in slightly it should be readable unless you're smehow on the internet with a commodore
  10. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Feb 25, 2008
    Shadow wins
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