[Week 10][Contender] 3. Breathless(5-4) vs 4. AniMatiX(1-1)

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Mar 20, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
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    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
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    •If your opponent fails to show, you still must vote on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match!!! You WILL lose if you dont.
    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

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    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
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    test
  2. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

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    [​IMG]

    I'm the devil on the shoulder of the angel that's on yours
    The lower level of yer subconscious, the one that's takin' on god's form
    The ego of your id, the one that we don't know exists
    This collective conscience is in denial that is...
    Like the child of a prince raised by the whole village
    Or that final note of silence once the violence has diminished
    The primal role model, behind all the hopeful visages
    No one can witness 'em until goin' to visit it
    in an abysmal plane where the drizzles reigns supreme
    is this a brain storm or is the rain pouring out freely now a leak?
    Driftin' away, off the isthmus of maybes
    Deep within the pith, a musky mist begins to erupt from it
    But if I keep thinking these are just thoughts, then what else is gonna come of this?
    I know I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I wonder...
    Is there another little system of mind inside my subconscious?
    Is there some kind of meek twin behind the evil grin of my demons?
    and maybe there's even a smaller angel beneath the wings of my larger one...
    But that would mean, there's an equally demonic devil residing under the harpy's tongue.
    Two sides to every two sides, so to decide who to side with
    is a hard choice to describe how to even begin to see it deciphered.
    what's the final deciding factor chooser, my mind...how?
    How can i surmise which slice of the fractal to slide down
    Am I somekind of outside filter of ideas and perspectives?
    Essentially, the broken rule of exception
    The sole purpose, comin' full circle, and holding the view, just for a second
    The moment the pool of reflection comes into focus, it's true
    It's the only instant you'll see before your soul is perfect, one of the chosen, the few
    test
  3. DethStryque

    DethStryque DethStryque theInvincible

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    Breathless...I must say that I'm really surprised. Your RSTL piece here is a thousand times better than your battle verse that I saw. You have a gift! Even if the other guy posted his verse against you? He'd be hard pressed to win. Props, son.

    VOTE-BREATHLESS
    test
  4. breathlesss

    breathlesss Registered Sex Offender

    Joined:
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    Thanks man, yea, battlingis definitely not my thing, I just to it for craps and laughter, and I often come up with rhyme schemes and concepts from it that I don't use, just save em for later when a more useful writing time comes, probly one of thereasons my battles are so lacking
    test
  5. Brown Jesus

    Brown Jesus Menso is for Dummies

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2004
    Messages:
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    Dope dope dope! I'm writing punchlines if we ever meet in RSTL

    :scared:

    Really, though, your style on this side is more serious; you can really play with concepts and your style fits that. You have a different type of creativity that really excels here. Plus, your rhyme schemes and natural flow has always been your strong point.

    The only thing that I might criticize, is that sometimes it seemed a little esoteric; but you transition between themes/schemes fluidly. Good shit, brutha!
    test
  6. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

    Joined:
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    a shame you got no-showed..
    you have a good vocabulary, which definitely helps your cause. i hate it when people use the same words over and over. your approach to the topic was also refreshing, as you didn't just take the obvious and easy perspective. the philosophical bits were also unexpected, but a nice touch. I haven't heard someone talk about the "id" since high school. Overall a pretty solid piece. if i had to offer you on critique, it'd be that the flow seemed to be a bit stretched out at parts.

    ie: "Two sides to every two sides, so to decide who to side with
    is a hard choice to describe how to even begin to see it deciphered."
    but then again, i never place much weight on "flow" because you could have intended it to be read differently from how i'm reading it. however, if it is actually a flow issue, i want to point out that you could have easily reworded the second line so that it flows better.

    good job though. good luck in the champ match, whoever it's against.
    test
  7. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    Breath wins
    test
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