[Week 1] the omega man vs xX_Nasty_Xx

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jan 16, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Feb 25, 2008


    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you still must vote on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match!!! You WILL lose if you dont.
    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.


    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
  2. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Apr 10, 2003
    Checking in,
  3. N A S T Y

    N A S T Y Well-Known Member

    Feb 25, 1999
    all that shit
  4. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Apr 10, 2003
  5. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Apr 10, 2003
    *note the character named Keviyon is pronounced Kevy-yaw. It's French*

    The True Story of Guacamahla

    Since a chap I’ve been fond of ghost tales in front the camp fire
    Keviyon in damp attire would tell us of a werewolf and a vampire
    And a crumb of spirits and psychos mixed in with our jambalaya
    But we’d gnaw our index finger raw when he’d talk of grumpy pirates
    And as the fading flame bisected his crusty guise
    And as children we’d polish the lethargy out of our rusty eyes
    And we’d fight and strive to stay alive under the dusky skies
    He’d begin to tell a local truth of a man, or was he…..lies
    The aroma of Jack and Soma waltzed his tongue
    And he’d begin to hum, the scariest interlude, to that song he sung:

    “♫ ♪Guacamahla, was once a young boy just like you
    Except his foot could fit in twice your shoes
    His head grew like a pear where inside it bruised
    Seven feet tall in the 4th grade, kids did not like this dude
    And, for him, no matter the path it was always: ‘which plight to choose?’
    He didn’t like the news, he didn’t like TV like I and Yous
    He longed to be alone, to seclude as his height accrues
    The children found him once, at church, behind the pews
    What they did find amused, but only after the consternation bid its fine adieus
    Grasping in each hand snakes dangled and writhed as he’d bite the twos
    Their rattlers fought but had no more fight to use
    And his handsome audience….shined….enthused
    Their rifle finger tips fired shots at his eyes confused
    And what they did not know then is that they’d light the fuse
    That would spark him to hide for the rest of his days behind the schools
    And sleep at night with shrews at the old snake farm down 3192
    I met him once, fed him snakes and a dead baby likely 2
    He promised that if I needed his help he’d come rightly through
    But I should keep him informed of any children, with my snakebite kazoo ♪♫”

    Then he’d play his frightful tune…..♩♩♪♫♪ ♩♩♪♫♪

    The 3rd time I heard this story I jostled to my feet
    Pointed my finger at Keviyon and said, “Kevin! Why do you lie to me?!”
    “I can see that you’re drunk. I’ve heard this story too much.
    Scaring my younger cousins makes you happy…you…you…stupid fuck!”

    Just then, his eyeballs protruded and I felt a certain danger
    As he appeared to leer with a mass of loathsome anger
    The embers of the dying fire left a soft orange stain on his left side and darkness on his right
    So when he clenched tight around my scrawny wrist, I could hardly risk flight
    His dirty hand was a prisoner’s shackles that I could not escape
    And when I realized my fate he dragged me to the edge of our fence near the gate
    We trekked for no more than a minute or so through the dried swamp
    Each limb in our path, Keviyon would break down and in the ground he would stomp
    He sat me down near a dead thicket on a bed of fallen leaves
    And began to play on his kazoo that song bereaved...
    ♩♩♪♫♪ ♩♩♪♫♪

    His melody lulled by a crepitating in the near distance
    And he stood meditating for a sheer instance
    then abruptly touched me, gravitating persistence
    I shot up, abashed myself…bewilderment…a mere hindrance

    Who would’ve thunked the crackling of leaves could knock like subwoofer?
    I was trembling in my shoes, but Keviyon was calm in his drunk stupor

    He said, “C’mon Guacamahla! I done got you a kid!”
    And out from behind a silhouette of leafless twigs
    Ruptured a monstrosity…an animal…head could touch the rim
    It’s powerful limbs showed a remembrance of the gym
    And its odor was of stunted brim
    Slowly it approached me but Keviyon stood in front of him

    Conscience had diluted his inebriety
    and Keviyon was set to fight alongside of me

    “Don’t worry Garry! I won’t let him hurt you!”

    The overgrown humanoid animality took heed
    A lion was trapped in its vocal chords, and so was a sheep
    Especially when Keviyon jerked his blade out of its sheath
    And pounced on the creature with no fear of its sharp teeth

    I turned away…I ran…I sprinted…I got the fuck out of sight
    Went to my room and over my head pulled the blanket so tight
    The war continued in the background, but I knew nothing of the fight
    And, all I remember is at dawn I witnessed Keviyon leaving on his bike

    ♩♩♪♫♪ ♩♩♪♫♪

  6. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Aug 19, 2000
    first off... i really like your vocab.... and you are a talented writer.... id like to see you incorporate more rhyme to your work, as most of your rhymes comes at the end of your prose, however, you do use multis... maybe a little bit more inner bar rhyming

    as far as the story itself... honestly i wasnt too interested in it.... written well, but i didnt really get pulled in till i got to your climax(which did its job for this piece) but honestly i didnt care about the character too much... i was hoping for a little bit more at the end as it felt open ended....

    but your opponent no showed...

    you have to watch out for stretched bars like this

    The embers of the dying fire left a soft orange stain on his left side and darkness on his right

    24 syllables would be hard to spit on one bar


    im looking forward to seeing more of your work
  7. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Jun 19, 2009
    shame this got slept on...

    Keviyon ? Yeah, let's just say I called him Kevin in the story. Could not remember to prounce that. Why use such weird name?

    Anyhow this had it's points. A camp fire story full of, violence, folklore and song...but this did not feel campy. It felt like you were telling not showing. The song in the middle detracted, because it was pointless what the lyrics were...it developed Kevin in the wrong way that did not add to anything hhaaa, to me Kevin and other dude where fighting the narrator for the main spotlight

    rhymes were good in some areas, hot in others. A good drop. I see this as a potential vocal track.
  8. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Apr 11, 2004
    Omega wins via No show
  9. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Feb 25, 2008
    Omega man wins by no show
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