[Week 1] InsaneVillian vs J. Keeper

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jan 16, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

    VERSUS DUE: Every Friday @ 11:59 PM PST
    LINE LIMIT: Minimum of 16 lines, Maximum of 64
    ** NO RECYCLING, NO EXCEPTIONS **
    •Recycling is the equivalent to that of a no-show and will be treated as such, thus resulting in a loss in favor of the participant whom chose to recycle and a win in favor of his/her opponent
    •Extensions may only be granted if a moderator has given consent prior to a verse being posted in the match OR your opponent gives his consent. Failure to acknowledge an extension request results in it being granted.
    •If granted, the extension will override deadline for both participants extending it for no more than 24 hours
    •CHECK-INS are encouraged, but not required
    •Verses MUST incorporate AT LEAST 1 of the provided topics or pictures
    •A failure to show will result in a loss and a sign out by default. A no show in the tourney will result in elimination.
    •If your opponent fails to show, you MUST STILL post AT LEAST 4 lines (4-15) AND 3 voting links in order to claim victory. A failure to post voting links will result in a loss.
    •A Championship Title WILL NOT be decided by way of no-show!!!
    •If an opponent fails to show in a Championship match, the remaining participant will be ranked as the number 1 seed, but will not be considered a Champion until a win by vote
    •Upon your second no show, you will be suspended for two weeks of competition. A third no show will result in a three week suspension and a fourth will result in a suspension for the remainder of the season. There is no suspension for first time no showers.
    • Competitors are limited to posting 3 times in their own match, which allows for checking in, posting votes, and posting a verse. For each post over 3 unless deemed necessary by the mods, the competitor will be docked one vote.
    • Each competitor may only post once in another competitors battle allowing for a vote and nothing more, if you would like an explanation or to explain as to why a vote was cast a certain way, you can pm them or point things out properly in the vote to begin with. Violating this will result in losing a vote in your match.
    • A verse can be edited if and only if it is the first verse to be posted and the other verse has yet to be posted or it is the second verse posted and a vote has yet to be received.
    • Members found constantly disruptive to the league will have their sign-in ignored.


    VOTING


    VOTES DUE: Every Monday @ 8:59 PM PST

    •You MUST vote on AT LEAST 5 matches AND post links in your thread
    •EACH link NOT POSTED will result in a 1 vote DEDUCTION
    •Voting on the Championship and Contender matches is mandatory
    •Champ and Contender links MUST be labeled accordingly
    •Your votes MUST be AT LEAST 2 FULL lines in length per verse in order to be deemed valid (Discretion given on incomplete verses)
    •Failure to vote and/or post LABELED LINKS will result in vote deductions in your battle
    •If your opponent fails to show, you still must vote on 3 matches as well as posting those links in your match!!! You WILL lose if you dont.
    •Voting is open until matches are closed. Deadlines are flexible!!!
    •Voting is open to PARTICIPANTS, RSTL MODERATORS, and PAST CHAMPIONS ONLY!!!
    •PAST CHAMPIONS MUST vote on a MINIMUM of 3 matches in order to be counted as a legitimate voter
    •Editing your vote for any reason must be done within the hour of the original post time. Otherwise, the vote will be null and void.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Any changes must be agreed upon by both participants and cleared by a moderator

    MODERATORS ARE LAW OF THE LAND
    AIM NAMES
    T.a.C- thedude8125
    ShadowWarriorfs- ShadowWarriorfs
    test
  2. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    16,814
    im here... the northwest got hit with a snow storm, but ill write out my shit on paper and hopefully post tomorrow if i can get to the library cuz the internet is out at my house
    test
  3. J Keeper

    J Keeper Super Jesus

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2010
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    I will allow for an extension, if I can get a few hours past midnight tonight to post mine.
    test
  4. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
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    yes i will need an extension... im probably ourt or power until tomorrow....

    if u drop ill at least throw something together sooo u can g3t your shit looked at...

    im sorry for the inconveniance but i didnt know my state would be in a state of emergency and most of our town would be out of power for a few days

    im actually thinking of flipping this into a story lol, but i dont which topic id be able to use

    maybe... we're all gonna die? lol but its not THAT bad

    :)

    im at the bar right now using my friends computer... to make matters worse i left my computer charger at worjk and it hasnt been open all week sooo ive been without my computer
    test
  5. J Keeper

    J Keeper Super Jesus

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2010
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    The story, is hard to tell,
    Not that it was hard to live, but it became hard as hell,
    From the scars, the swell, of hearts and cells,
    Within every mind, it was sharply felt,
    War swept in like dust storm, blind,
    Killing, everything past the front door, died,
    And if you had made a trip that one store, I'd
    Wager that your life became cut short, knife,
    The foreign feet on our shores and creeks,
    Kept their stead pace and adorned our streets,
    But as a man of religion, I forgive their choice,
    As all my peers swore that I miss the point,
    But their bullets missed me, yea I missed their noise,
    Till one missed me, but it hit my boy,
    My mother was poet, her pen, her blade,
    But a pen doesn't end all the death today,
    My regret is laid, my child is gone,
    And I don't have anything but vengeance to smile upon,
    Run missions on the miles of dawn,
    While the feet of dusk march, filing on,
    My neighbor was a militant, he praised the look,
    So they burned down my entire neighborhood...

    ...Innocence is a lost cause to me,
    The innocent never get a pause from grief,
    Our innocents aren't worth their patience,
    Burns, abrasions, upon verdant faces,
    As I walk to my target I feel perspiration,
    Sweating out memories of the curse they've made it,
    Another scientist with a study to do,
    Study MY people, from a comfortable room,
    While our blood soaks the sands, she writes reports,
    A disconnected method, yea she likes the sort,
    While her pen soaks a page, we die in scores,
    A disconnected method, yea she likes the sort,
    Ophiuchus looks down from the skies above,
    Snake holding life in a violent tug,
    I'm holding pride in the knife I clutch,
    Well past the lines of war, she sleeps,
    She looks rather peaceful, accordingly,
    Hand against her mouth, awakened in fear,
    I wonder what kind of choice could've taken you here,
    Knife against her throat, I pause and breathe,
    Flashbacks of memories I lost to grief,
    My son bleeding out as the infantry pass,
    Well past the fingers of sympathy's grasp,
    I press a little harder, the knife, the blade,
    She struggles much more as her life escapes,
    I hear my neighbor coughing, choking to slow death,
    Lungs filling up with the smoke of his own flesh,
    The blade starts sliding, the wound is a gash,
    My vengeance overwhelms the mood of her gasps,
    No pity, I give what I'm given, I've thrown what I hold up,
    So I'll walk away like a soldier, let her choke on her own blood,

    It wasn't like I was born to do this,
    It wasn't like the summer light had formed a Judas,
    I never turned my back on your right to live,
    But I'll never turn my back on my wife and kids...​

    [​IMG]

    @IV - Take your time homie, good luck with the storm...
    test
  6. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2000
    Messages:
    16,814
    BOOM!!!

    fuck, it feels as if i havent showered for a week
    this snow storm took out my power and im weak
    sitting in this tower of geeks, well this university
    a place of diversity, and its hurting me
    that i have to come here to spit these flames
    soo these lames wont think im a no show ho, all talk and no game
    its a shame, but i have no prob keystyling these verses
    fighting these curses, pullihg this off like old ladies purses
    the worst is over, this weather leraving me inflicted
    but i cant stay away from the rstl... im addicted...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    when i first started topicals, i looked up to perileyes
    infinite truth and mac flow, they left peeps peril eyes'd
    and there was this guy who held it all together
    in any weather, tekneek's moddin? no one does it better
    even ehen it got deader, i was around
    profounded, astounded by the drops pound for pound
    i didnt even write rhymes right, when i first arrived
    no inner bar rhyming or multis, somehow i survived
    i contrived verses, and figured out a structure
    to win every week, i left people punctured
    i was homeless too, hopp[in online wherever i roamed
    as the rstl is the place i called home

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    i got more involved, becoming the mod
    and a two time champ, and banging internet broads... :p
    and then something fucked up my writing
    i wrote not to lose, yeah my rhymes were delighting
    exciting even... but then if i couldnt put in the time
    id no show, i cant lose if i didnt drop a rhyme
    the secret to my success? i had no job, no home
    spent all my time here, a neverending cyclone

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    . now im back once again to reclaim my throne
    bursting with positivity, raining stones
    on peoples heads, or maybe going over them
    checking this site daily, TEXT is only over when
    people stop reading, or writing delicious prose
    to let out a feeling, or to fuck some vicious ho's
    or to let bitches know your religion or beliefs
    i cant stop being here, cuz i learn from others grief
    we didnt start this, rhyme has been here from the beginning of time
    before virgil and homer, lets createw our own history of the rhyme

    test
  7. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2000
    Messages:
    16,814
    my topic was addicted.... to the rstl

    i peeped out all 7 other battles... and commented... no show verse or not
    test
  8. patrown

    patrown student for life

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,178
    J keeper - You did a really good job of telling the story. A desperate, sad story about a soldier driven to murder an innocent nurse, his son being shot beside him...
    Thanks for putting the time into this you did, I really enjoyed the read.
    I can't pick any parts out of it and say yah , that was great, because it was good in its entirety. excellent. btw, ophiucus', after I looked it up, blew me away. I can't think of anything to be critical of J.


    insanevillain- If I knew more of the history of this site, I might have enjoyed your drop a bit more.
    I did relate to lines like,

    profounded, astounded by the drops pound for pound
    i didnt even write rhymes right, when i first arrived
    no inner bar rhyming or multis, somehow i survived
    i contrived verses, and figured out a structure
    to win every week, i left people punctured
    i was homeless too, hopp[in online wherever i roamed
    as the rstl is the place i called home

    ..buuut this..
    exciting even... but then if i couldnt put in the time
    id no show, i cant lose if i didnt drop a rhyme
    the secret to my success? i had no job, no home
    spent all my time here, a neverending cyclone

    addicts never forget to put in the time to get there fix..that's an all consuming life goal.
    I enjoyed reading your post, but honestly..No matter how sick the multi's were around "delicious pros" "vicious hoe's , "bitches know," I saw no connection between being addicted to RSTL and an ability to fuck vicious hoe's.
    +1 for you if I'm wrong. but most likely a -1 for filler.
    the end felt a bit forced, but the message it contained made me feel warm and fuzzy inside for a split second.

    Vote/win- J. Keeper, his verse was more well rounded, and told a story better.
    a fucked up.. sick twisted story. excellent job J.
    test
  9. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    60,689
    Pain - This was a solid story. The flow was on point and the rhymes were good. The scheme switching up was nice in points and some of the lines didn't really rhyme. For example,

    "My neighbor was a militant, he praised the look,
    So they burned down my entire neighborhood..."

    Still the rhyming felt natural and the story was entertaining and easy to follow. Good work here


    Insane - I like that you wrote something because with you our of power and jumping from computer to computer, it must of been difficult. Still, I thought the story was cool but not really creative and read as something you just threw together because you wanted to show this week and i appreciate it. The rhymes were solid and the flow was good but the story wasn't very entertaining to me but like i said, based on your situation this week, i was glad you showed up! Nice work

    V/ Pain for having a more entertaining story. I think Insane will be a lot better next week when he has time.
    test
  10. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
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    4,096
    j. keep: good verse

    EDIT: Gonna give JK more feed: impressive flow, best of the week. Story held up intense until the middle passage break, got loose a bit, but it slowly connected for me what you were doing with it near 3/4 through, I liked it. The cast of characters/theme I've seen before, but this written I felt was done very skillfully. I see ya gonna be a contender right of the batt. If you can come OG, it could prove a task to get some votes off ya.

    IV came flowing too, so story hashed this out. I'd say stay away from safer topics like this, let the writing do it all, not reader familiarity. Peace.


    IV: nice package of energy concentrated...Kind of risky coming back with a verse about your past reign, because you may loose. lol I can relate to the homeless part, last year I was living and typing out my car. Now I'm not. The rhymes were what glued this together, this was an easy smooth flowing read. not much else to comment on really, glad we got another real writer in the rstl...If you translate this written process to more of a story outside your self this would bombed the box. good drop

    nothing seemed forced or played, just not exactly interesting to me as it to you. Believe me, I can imagine though. peace dog.


    v j,keep
    test
  11. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Messages:
    614
    Jkeeper -- Good verse...overall illness. Good rhyming and good metaphors. It wasn't as developed a story as I was hoping for, as story are normally suppose to be, however, it did have a story to it. It was just lacking the ability to grasp me into the story. It was the rhyming and the flow that kept me interested, not the story. But, like I said, a very good verse indeed. Much props.

    IV -- you chose the most boring topic you could have ever chose. I was not feeling this story at all. I guess because I simply am not interested in the subject matter. The flow is nice, but other than that I think this verse is lacking alot. I agree with what Coup said you should go outside the box. Have some external character looking at you or something...blah...blah...blah...I don't know. It's just boring to me. Maybe next week you capture me.


    Vote- Jkeeper, much better verse, in all areas.
    test
  12. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
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    i wrote this in like 20 minutes and i wrote it quick to not no show...

    i would have taken more time but i wrote this week pretty much to let j keeps get his props

    ill drop some plutonium next week
    test
  13. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

    Joined:
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    obviously a lop sided battle due to a power outage on IVs side of the earth , but none the less he showed up. Thanks IV for not ditching your opponent like I did :( I liked your topic and what you did with it given your time constraints and everything else. rhymes were solid and the topic was on point. however not enough to top pains verse.

    Pain - I thought your verse was nearly impeccable. however some parts I didn't like so much, and it felt that you placed rhyming words in areas for the sake of it. like here.
    "And if you had made a trip that one store, I'd
    Wager that your life became cut short, knife"

    maybe I'm just an idiot, but I just didn't see why you added knife in there. I dunno. otherwise I'm just being picky. still I'd say you and nom wrote the best this week. great verse bro. other than my retarded rambling great verse man
    v - keeper
    test
  14. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Pain up 3 to 0
    test
  15. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    Pain wins 3 to 0
    test
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