Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Shit with corn in it IRM'S BITCH, May 21, 2007.
ok now I feel like a dick for even making the thread
Why would you feel like shit? If you stand behind something 110% and believe you are right---why feel like shit because a few ppl might disagree with you? You shouldn't feel like shit if you made this thread believing it.
I was only half serious half in jest of tight eyes pic (funny)
dont know how I feel at this moment about gender roles/whats desirable and what isn't etc. hmmmm
Yeah the pic was pretty funny---see the rest of us were just thinking it. But she posted it----I had to giggle when I saw it ;o)
Working in a preschool...I try not to do the "that's for girls!" thing. The kids already have it in them - their families have instilled gender roles already. There's one little boy for instance...his dad is uber manly and his "little dude" is emotional. He's young - three - so he cries. I don't know how often he cries at home, but when he cries in front of dad here he automatically says, "man up!" Without even asking what's wrong, it seems as though he doesn't care. Boys just aren't supposed to cry.
The teachers had a picture of the kids playing in the dress up area and the same little boy had on high heel shoes and all I could hear in my head was his dad's voice, "man up!" I suggested to the teacher that she not put that picture up. I told her why. Then I felt bad...maybe his dad needs to see something like that. Does that make him any less of a boy? Does it mean he wants to be a girl? I think it just means he wanted to put on the big funny shoes!
I've been interested in this topic for a little over a year now. It started with researching dance music and turned into researching the Ball Scene. That just opened my consciousness to a lot of things and I'm still confused. I mean...you have men who dress as women - women who dress as men - men who identify themselves and women - women who identify themselves as men - men who sleep with men but call themselves girls - men who identify as women and sleep with women. I mean...just busted up any thought I had on gender and sex. Sex is definitely biological - that cannot be denied...it's science.
I totally think gender is a state of mind. But now...after reading articles and seeing those kids on 20/20 who at such a young age tried to cut off their genitals! It confuses me all over again. To say that it is developed by one's environment ...I have to wonder about that...because those parents treated their kids as the gender they were "supposed" to perpetuate, but they still identify themselves as the opposite. It sounds psychological, but we can't really know that unless we study these families and their environments and rule that out. Or study the children's brains.
Brit Boi... don't stop creating these threads because it forces folks to think about gender socialization. I appreciate the fact that you are cognizant of these processes and just don't take it for granted like popular conceptions of gender.
I, personally, was laughing at some of the ridiculous comments that were being made.
You'd be surprised to know that "science" also serves a cultural function.
But yeah, physical differences are sometimes obvious, but more importantly it's the ways in which we assign meaning to those differences.
There's an interesting literature (which I need to read more about) on Intersex folks. Physical differences between 'men" and "women" are not as hard and fast as we would like to think.
That's terrible. Ugh--feel for that little boy. My husband is "sorta" like that. He's a big muscular dude that thinks "men/boys don't cry" @@ Can be annoying at times. But that's how his Dad raised him, to be a man etc. Although he was a sensitive dude when I met him, he no longer is that sensitive dude (construction work did that to him lol). But I let my boys know it's OKAY to cry and it's OKAY to come to Mommy for ANYTHING. No matter what. My husband doesn't agree with that and says I'm going to make them "pussy's" as they get older. However while I'm allowing them to come to me and cry if they need too (my oldest son is sensitive) I'm also teaching them that they can't let things bother them all the time to the point of crying about it allowing bullies to get the best of them. They need to stand their ground as well, but without being "bullies" back.
About the dress up, ugh. THat'd be terrible if the father said anything about that. Kids play dress up ALL the time. There shouldn't be a problem if a boy (more so at age 3!) wants to dress up in the "big funny shoes" as you put it. This is where it's the parents fault. We should allow our children to express themselves no matter what. Just because Tommy is putting on a dress in the play center, doesn't mean he's going to be gay @@ Geesh.
You've just opened up another can of worms. Back to the drawing board.
ugh@telling a 3 year old to man up.
what a ponce
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