Ways of the World

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by ILL SEEKAH, May 30, 2003.

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  1. ILL SEEKAH

    ILL SEEKAH Deaf to Depths of Death..

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    3,584
    Walking in the path of soldiers
    souls bagged in their holsters
    bellies saggin from maggots and locus
    circling the earth, apparatus broke open
    to serve in the worse-sac cracked in the moment...of birth
    undetermined
    where the fruit of life lies in this sermon
    apple bit where the worms inserted
    and the lasso fits just to curse a higher learning
    why liars get further? and the inspired is murdered
    we buyers of the current...deathwish leaders
    with no progression of freedom
    pledging allegiance
    to the grim of men wetting the seasons
    a genius within...this music is the present reason
    why I'm breathin' underneath my skin
    the instrument's my pen- to represent this
    but its nothin different, every trick is repetitious
    in a system preped in glitches
    inflicting...distress burning the step
    on the decks of bridges
    changin the pigment...on images of cash money
    forgetting the ignorance, so the crafts bloody
    leaving past running...in the future
    so don't let the mass media use ya
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    869
    I was feeling the rhyme scheme of this piece, as well as the concept you were getting at..

    " Walking in the path of soldiers
    souls bagged in their holsters
    bellies saggin from maggots and locus
    circling the earth, apparatus broke open
    to serve in the worse-sac cracked in the moment...of birth"


    I was feeling several lines, but ofcourse the opening is supposed to hook you in with the piece and deliver a great deal of knowledge. That's what you did and had me attentive throughout reading this. I'll be looking out for more work from you, mos def. My blessings..

    *return the favor by dropping knowledge on my piece.

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=577011

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=575322
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    really like how u put this joint together....dont know if i've read u before......anyhow....good piece.....like ^ he said the begining brought me into the poem really nice......felt like it could have been a lil longer though..

    keep up the good work...
    test
  4. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    beautifully written mista seekah!
    test
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