Walk of Shame

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Infonation, Jun 5, 2003.

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  1. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

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    Walk of Shame(feedback)

    Everybody has to lose, you know that life's a sport with boundaries and rules that have special tools to work with to win.

    I took the wrong road with confidence, my mind's province has moved to different residents, listen to my words to show my evidence.

    Been always beggin for leveranve, but all I needed was some reverance, and God would of blessed me with some dead presidents, and guardian angels that were heaven sent.

    Needed some patience prescribed because when I got mad, I was just wastin my time.

    And when your wastin your life, your definetly committing a crime.
    test
  2. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

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    Yo can I get some feedback, this is my first entry in the Poetry forum.
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    this was cool...flow was a bit off at times...but a decent piece for your first drop...last line was nice......

    gonna have to show some love to get some love in here.....not to many cats just come up in here to reply to other people....
    test
  4. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

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    Thank you for responding back, I guess I have to reply to other people's stuff
    test
  5. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    "And when your wastin your life, your definetly committing a crime."

    ^^ I liked that last line, made you think of what you truely are doing with your life. I found this piece to share your thoughts and the truth of life and what you need to do, or not need to do. I though it could use work in rhyme scheme, well make it a stronger aspect in your poetic devices, as well as flow. Due to the scheme effecting the flow tremdenously, once the reader is trying to read it to themselves. Overall, nice.. Decent piece, and yes it's true.. Make sure to reply to others AS MUCH as possible. My blessings..
    test
  6. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    Decent piece tuned root and lpoet basically said everything.

    Welcome to the realm, i hope to see more from you

    one luv
    test
  7. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    welcome to the realm! this was good as a first jump into the world of poetry. keep writing and i hope to see u around more often!
    test
  8. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

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    Thank y'all for the feedback. It's appreciated, on the real.
    ^^One world, one life, one love
    test
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