Trading War Stories (Repost)

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Lost Prophet, Jun 5, 2003.

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  1. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    I stand bleeding and torn, contemplating the meaning of war
    Enemies fiending for more while my team hits the floor
    Such a tragic disgrace, I just saw one of my men shot in the face
    Stepping over his corpse, just to stand in his place
    Suddenly, the memories started flooding me
    Thinking about old company, signing up begrudgingly
    Oh, how much fun it'd be
    Funnily, there were three of us, but the bullets depleted us
    Now I stand alone, as my other two comrades eat the dust
    Darkness is an infinite threat, my impotent head has visions of flesh
    Wishing I could diminish the threat, before they finish my breath
    Dreams mutate into nightmares, horror's encapsulated
    Knowing that I could awaken to find a team mate decapitated
    Trenches are tunnels of torture, filled with puddles of water
    Where men are troubled and slaughtered in muddled disorder
    So I sit in the open air, frozen and scared like a polar bear
    Hoping that my helmet doesn't enter an opponent's glare
    The man next to me is checking his weaponry
    Unexpectedly, yet perpetually in his enemy's trajectory
    In a few seconds he, will vanish into a wall of sound
    As the missiles fly from all around, he'll be falling down
    Paralyzed, he's unable to run back
    As bullets from hundred of gun claps enter his lung sac
    Tragically, he's another casualty in this war of hell
    With clouds of gas, air of decay, and violent storms of shells
    My mental deliberation is asking if this is a war of liberation
    Vicious stipulations damage my affiliation with the nation
    My ribs are aching, precious energy is flowing away
    The general motions my way, I know what he's going to say
    My pulse accelerates at a rapid pace, all hope evaporates
    Fear exaggerates, he has my fate to fabricate
    Indeed, it's the news I most feared, his words enter both ears
    Speaking softly, but attacking sharper than goat sheers
    I choke tears, as he orders me up into no man's land
    Now I'm a broken man, staring down at my open hands
    As I prepare to ascend into Hell, thoughts flash through my mind
    Thinking of my wife, and other loved one's in my life
    Finally, it's nightfall, I move upwards to make the tight crawl
    Behind me, a man named Michael, is trapped in barbed wire, stifled
    As I continue climbing the hill, the battlefield lies silent and still
    Moving through an area where thousands were violently killed
    I'm in the middle of the wasteland now, retreating is impossible
    Survival seems improbable, terror controls my every molecule
    Unstoppable passion is our motive, hoping we go unnoticed
    I take the cap off of a grenade and step back and throw it
    Instantly, their infantry begins firing metal things at me
    In my vacinity, I hear screams and see illusions of bloody imagery
    Observing my murdered clan, I heard a bang, I turned and ran
    This heroic battle has transformed me into a nervous man
    Retreating before they find me, running to wherever home lines be
    Then without warning, I felt something behind me
    All I could do was freeze, as the bullet stripped through my clothes
    Screaming, as the tremendous pain ripped through my bones
    I was left to die in the vegetation, agony spread with no hesitation
    Staring up at the sky, I knew Heaven was the next destination.
    test
  2. Infonation

    Infonation Info for the Nation

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    Yo that was hot blood! We can relate, we can definetly relate. I can't believe nobody has left any replies. This is some hot shit. You On fire boy. I want somebody like you to reply to my stuff in the poetry forum, open or new forums also. All I've been dealing with is fake lyricist who think MC stands for misconception. I need to hear from ya, holla back on the real, you need to put some shit down on open mic.

    PS. You need to quote that "Life without knowledge is death in disguise". You think you da only one who listen to da mighty Mos Def and the true documentarian Talib Kweli.
    ^One
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  3. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    Yes, on point though the whole piece, while writing it. Thought it was a bit lengthy, although it was worth the time to read, especially if you're feeling like getting away and hearing a few tales from the past and present. This really brought out the title and defined it perfectly. Very nice and special piece. My blessings..
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  4. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

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    storytelling at its finest.....no forced rhymes and great content.....much love lp
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  5. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    always one of my favs by u.....classic LP...
    lol

    up
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  6. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    Even better the second time around
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  7. Old Soul

    Old Soul Nipple Nibbler

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    This needs audio. (explosions, gunshots, screaming, etc.)

    This is sick. Multies are on point & relevant to the story. The structure is nice & your storytelling was great. Your imagery needs no improvement. Good emotion.
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  8. TRiX

    TRiX ..

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    ill, thats that, make it audio
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  9. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    thanks y'all
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  10. ven diagram

    ven diagram Nemesis

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    you really should make it audio
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  11. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    i gotta find the perfect beat for it
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  12. ven diagram

    ven diagram Nemesis

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    renegade?
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  13. great display of war and rage, it was very lengthy but it wasnt dissapointing, good twist of hope at the end lifting it.

    late
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  14. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    thanks everyone
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  15. varentao

    varentao New Member

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    Lost my man...that was quite epic...

    ...i've written quite a lot in 'war' format (whatever that means...)...and so i can 'link' to this piece quite a lot...er..yeah...it has a very edgy

    ...anyway, nothing else to say, prophet...you really got deep into the emotions and situations of parts of war and battle...

    ..resp...
    test
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