TOPICAL TURMOIL: Round 1: Idol Z vs Wise Punchlines

Discussion in 'the Onslaught' started by Insanevillian, Dec 23, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Aug 19, 2000
    Limit 60 lines
    Due Saturday 10 AM Pacific
    Votes Due Monday 10 AM Pacific

    Write a topical Using these four characters...

    Private Eye
  2. Wise-Punchlines

    Wise-Punchlines Better THAN the game

    Oct 14, 2000
    alright good luck idol
  3. Idol Dot Z

    Idol Dot Z Capo Status

    Mar 7, 2002
    same 2 you
  4. Wise-Punchlines

    Wise-Punchlines Better THAN the game

    Oct 14, 2000

    I walk in and examine obvious there was much pain..the blood stains..
    Carpets..Bed lined with guts and brains where the victim stood slain..
    Starved for weeks..Voice raspy from thirst poor girl could hardly speak..
    Parents scarred in deep..Daughter missing been in psycho's garage for weeks..
    Fed lil or nothing..Why is the question there head's riddled with nothing..
    Dad wept tears of pain when he saw the medical staff carry off pumpkin..
    Surface had no evidence..Never does i must visualize the killer..
    Become him..Know what drove him to kidnap torture and not to kill her..
    His mind must be sick..corroded over time picked on by stupid fucks and pricks..
    till it sucks to live..till a female becomes nothing but just a bitch..
    And that juss the tip..Theres still more this man would kill for..
    The attention he wasnt given by his parents he was juss another kid born..
    This tore..him apart emotional war in his emotional core..
    And this girl was juss urking him more turning him towards..
    Mercing this whore..But instead he tries torture..
    A fate worse then death..his sanity cries for ya..
    But its gone..The human is now a soul less figure..
    Walks around empty..people like her have stole his vigor..
    Cold and bitter..He's created his reality and must stick to it..
    Contimplates to do it..Then he slips back and begins to lose it..
    Thinks of how they would plain neglect rejections
    Type of shit made him hate reflections..This is an irate confession..
    After all this if you haven't figured im the real victim..the murderer and private eye..
    They think its over..but i got inside access now they'll whole family will die..
    My choice of career was investigator cause it was a lonely business..
    Only people i have to talk to victims,witnesses and lowly snitches..
    so its ironic the man they solve the mystery is the one who caused it..
    Tell them i got a clue and need to meet..i found an incriminating locket..
    Its the one she gave me on christmas i just havent told them..
    It has a pic of me and her inside of this nice gold emblem..
    The words i love you eternally ended too soon for me..
    Those are forgotten usually when a girl starts giving you clues to leave..
    Look what you do to me..Im smarter then this by substantial amounts..
    Gotta kill my best friend..Hes a witness got suspisious when i wouldnt let him into my house..
    He coulda juss walked away and left it alone..
    But instead he continued and now is with the rest in my home..
    There all gagged and tied up to chairs..fear painted on their faces..
    They know there dead..can see my face tainted with pure hatred..
    I ungag my ex let her speak to me..tell her not to yell..
    Shes askes me if im ready for prison and to rot in a cell..
    To rot in hell..I hit her with a backhand across the face..
    a nine by my side..Last words from me so i cock and wait..

    You did this..Your a false reality who forgot morality..
    You only become remorseful when brought to casualities..
    Lots of laughs at me..This is the final straw im done being picked on..
    This kids gone..crazy drove to it by how this bitch did wrong..
    So i blast this bitches mother..blah she never liked me..
    she said i wasnt her daughters she'll never like me..
    Tears start flowing..See thats these people's weakness..
    One down cant believe this..there left shocked and left speechless..
    Blood splattered on the daughters face..From the woman who gave her birth..
    The woman who taught her how to be a woman..Her most important person on earth..
    To see a man cry is different we dont usually share emotions...
    But he's sobbing like a he sees his spouse over there in portions..
    I shoot my best friend tell him im sorry and thanks for everything..
    You told me you had my back unconditionally..well this is anything..
    Anything but normal..Father catches two to the chest..
    He's still breathing..One to the temple to put him to rest..
    Now for the love of my life..a girl i would of gave the world to..
    I put the gun to my head..kill myself uttering my final i love you..
  5. One's Abyss

    One's Abyss New Member

    Oct 13, 2003
  6. Idol Dot Z

    Idol Dot Z Capo Status

    Mar 7, 2002
    woops lmao. i thought this was due saturday 10 PM. haha who the hell makes battles due at 10 am. my fault IV, i know you reminded me like thursday, but i thought i had until saturday nite,thats why i aint sweat it.
  7. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Aug 19, 2000
    extention till tonight granted...
  8. Idol Dot Z

    Idol Dot Z Capo Status

    Mar 7, 2002
    peering over the body in the alley he strikes a match
    slit from ear to ear, multiple stabbings just like the last
    wonder why i ask, as the winter breeze blows out the flame
    for 3 nights a prostitute a night had to go down the same
    stone cold heart, i dont know why im starting to pity
    for murders occur where drugs pump through the heart of the city
    strike another match, this time i cup the fire with my hands
    body shows no sign of rape, what was the desire of this man?
    feel tired as i stand, puff the cig, then i kneel next to her
    inspect under her nails, i notice some skin and specs of dirt
    prolly scratched his face or neck in bursts...we'll have to see
    its a shame fate uses these blocks to build tragedy
    i shake my head again, causing ashe to fall from my cigarette
    for i havent figured yet why and who would slit her neck
    needa witness, i inhale the smoke then lower my hat
    i know cases can be closed from secrets told by a rat
    seen a cardboard box in an alley adjacent to the murder scene
    if someone sleeps there, he must've seen something, heard a scream
    i wait leaning on a vacant building, button my trenchoat
    watching hookers unaware someone is cutting up nymphos
    i exhale vapors, as hustlers make paper selling crack on the block
    these crimes dont concern me, only the man comming back to his spot
    and he does, limping slowly, hunched over, drags a garbage bag
    before throwing it in a large dumpster how bizarre is that?
    emerged from the alley those beedy eyes look right at me
    seemed like eternity, but he turned from me and walked fastly
    i hesitated for a moment, then walked to the alley
    could this be new girl i have to add to the talley?
    is it possible thats this is the man who kilt these hoes?
    and its a body in the bag 'stead of being filled with clothes?
    opened the right side of the dumpster and jumped inside to see
    pulled a small flashlight from my pockets, so my eyes could see
    i smelt a foul odor, wondering about the contents it had inside
    untied the knot, tried to see inside but the flashlight died
    i patted it furiously, fearing for the worst i tore the bag
    produced some light, squint my eyes and saw torn up rags
    its not a corpse, just a place to keep the clothes which he wore
    ready to jump out, but i seen a man enter wit a whore
    im stuck now, i ducked down before im seen or caught
    use this time to plot my next moves and get deep n thought
    when the hobo returns, i will ask some questions
    like did he hear or see any ongoing attack while resting
    the hooker argues with the man who seems short on dough
    they then get into a shoving match, but i ignore it tho
    a minute later, i peek out becuz of something strange i heard
    just in time to see the short mane lunge and strangle her
    i reached for my badge, as she get punched in the head
    but reached for gun, when i saw the knife plunge in her chest
    a puddle of red starts to build, jumped out, pointed the gun
    caught by suprise, he had no choice but to run
    he knocked over a trash can and i tripped onto the ground
    i got up quickly, but he was nowhere to be found

    2 days later, the hobo's a suspect, there was a corpse in the trash
    found it later, we on the hunt, another girl kilt worse the the last
    i jot down in my notepad anything that looks similiar to me
    i look up and happen to see a man that looks familiar to me
    memory lane turns up empty, but i roam again
    is it the killer in the alley or is it that homeless man?
    No, its officer im aqainted with, that got dispatched to this place
    seems very nervous, could it be the scratches on his face? 60

    forget any misspellings idont proofread
  9. Idol Dot Z

    Idol Dot Z Capo Status

    Mar 7, 2002
    never did 60 before lmao.
  10. Wise-Punchlines

    Wise-Punchlines Better THAN the game

    Oct 14, 2000
    nice verse gonna go vote on some battles later on tonight lets hope this gets some votes
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)