Topical Pic Tourny: Criticized vs Illweeman

Discussion in 'the Onslaught' started by Supaman_EBT, Jul 22, 2003.

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  1. Supaman_EBT

    Supaman_EBT Don't Call It a Comeback.

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  2. castro'DAMUS

    castro'DAMUS j o e y h o f f a

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    Attention: LINKS HAVE SPACES IN THEM, YOU MUST FIX THAT YOURSELF
    'DOT' = . - replace the DOT with an Actual .
    Some of you are still unclear on what exactly your objective in this tournament is as far as what to do is concerned. Construct a verse using one of the pictures provided, with that picture you will be responsible for creating some kind of story, or whatever you want to make using the picture, be creative, anymore questions, email me at
    envythekid@hotmail.com
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  3. Criticized

    Criticized Confusin' Yet Organized

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    check....damn i gotta battle Weezy...
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  4. Criticized

    Criticized Confusin' Yet Organized

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    aight i got tha ronald pic...
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  5. Criticized

    Criticized Confusin' Yet Organized

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    I did tha ronald one...
    BREAKIN NEWS:
    It seems that today is a sad day for McDonalds
    in tha midst of tha mornin fog police found Ronald
    Hangin by tha throat over a moat off an old Oak
    Police quote
    "We're still unsure if it was a sick joke
    or suicide...Clowns these days are turnin blue inside
    Tha dollar menu must not be enough to provide
    now people can buy a meal cheaper plus somethin tha value lacks
    i could get a double cheese, fries, and cookies for 3 bucks plus tax"

    thanx officer, but he looks happy, as if his mood wasn't tainted
    "Nah, he's a clown and just an object, tha only moods they show are painted"
    why do you think he killed himself and what'd put him in that slump too?
    "well...Id have killed myself too if i had to wear a yellow jumpsuit
    and those shoes would've sent me over tha egde, same thing with tha wig
    i'd neva want an orange fro, and a pair of red shoes six sizes too big"

    I undastand you reasonin, but he was a pop-culture icon
    now what will they call McDonalds when Ronald McDonald's gone
    we'll neva agian see a smile from tha mascot of an unsurpassed wit
    unless you see tha one painted on his face in tha open casket
    for more details on this fatal tragedy, tune in at ten
    Tha peoples news comes first, here on news channel seven

    short but sweet......i had to hurry on this one...goin on vacation tomorrow....be back on sat. or sun.........gotta go to sleep....wakin up early tomorrow......
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  6. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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  7. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    w w w . f r e e w e b s.com/thaundadoggs/soldier.jpg
    The Soldier One


    BAMM!!

    "A Soldier's Cry"

    As bugs crawl upon his body, bitin' his clothes
    Can't move, the tall grass got'm hiding from foes
    His timing is bold now, his point? He understands
    Sit and wait for enemy soldiers, with his gun in hands
    The rifle is heavy, but he knows it's better to hold
    As he thinks of his wife, and all the letters he wrote
    His pet cat, which he's had for years now
    And his kids, as he starting to have tears now
    He misses their gasps and cries as he tries to laugh
    Looking upon the enemy base, which is confined near gas..
    tanks, one shot to take out their minor fortress
    He knows his reason, and he'll do anything for this
    Legs are sore now as he feels pressure applying
    Tried to move, but held back by thorny flowers beside him
    Sighing, right about now - he felt like crying
    But didn't, as smelled the fresh smell of the nice breeze
    ...
    Footsteps behind him, this was the moment of truth
    He's gonna die, there's no denying - He's knowin' it's true
    He thinks about his wife and kids, "I'll hold onto you"
    BOOM! last sound he hears, there's goes all his youth
    Or does it? Has he lived through the story - to tell it?
    He blacks out to wake up with a hole in his helmet
    And Not His Head...

    .
    daMn

    -Weez
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  8. krisp

    krisp aka PhsyKris

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    Criticized- hum...i gotta be honest i didnt liek the ronald Mcdonald idea....i thought it was stupid lol no offence...some of it was good but i just really didnt liek too much of it

    Weez- your verses was good...good imagery...i loved the story and the twist at the end....good verses

    vote =illweeman
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  9. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

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    vote- Weezy

    Crit- I really wasn't feelin yours at all. Just couldn't get into it.

    Weezy- very nice. Nice story and imagery. Way better verse.

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  10. Criticized

    Criticized Confusin' Yet Organized

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    o well...nice verse weez
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  11. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    You too Crit
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  12. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    vote weezy...

    crit...your verse was solid, a bit humurous, but it did seem rather rushed, i wanted more, that's just me, your flow was good, and you had some aight multi's as well, went rather nice with the picture props

    weez...another solid verse, i loved your imagery and vocab and flow and multi's and, you get my drift, i liked both pieces but yours stood out more, it felt like it was prepared more with thought and not just thrown together
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  13. bigKEN

    bigKEN Hoosier Daddy??

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    Criticized... unlike the other voters above, I found you verse pretty solid. It had a lot of creative humor in it. I was pretty damn funny to me. But since it was rushed you didn't put in the effort to tell a complete piece and elaborate more like I would have liked to see.

    Weez... nice verse, good scheme, flow, and lovely multi's. Decent emotion and imagery just made this the better verse in the battle.

    Vote- IllWeeMan
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  14. castro'DAMUS

    castro'DAMUS j o e y h o f f a

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    Weezy Moves On....
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