TITLE MATCH: CHAMP Nique 22-4 VS 2. Doyen 96-19

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by TeKneeK, Jun 27, 2006.

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  1. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    [​IMG]

    LINE LIMITS:
    4 lines NO-SHOW
    12 lines MINIMUM
    48 lines MAXIMUM

    62 lines MAXIMUM - CONTENDERS & TITLE MATCH ONLY!



    VERSES DUE:
    Friday 10:00pm PST/1:00am EST

    VOTES DUE:
    Sunday 10:00pm PST/1:00am EST

    TOPICS:
    Topics will be provided at the beginning of the week so that everyone has ample time to get involved.

    VOTING:
    You must vote on 4 matches and post URL's on your thread of matches u voted for.

    -You must use the HIDDEN VOTES UBB CODE to conceal your votes. Votes must be hidden! To hide a vote, first thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. The last thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, a backslash “/”, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. Unhidden votes will not count.

    - No HIDDEN CODES? - That vote DOES NOT COUNT - You must vote on another match and use HIDDEN CODES!

    -FORMER CHAMPS are allowed to vote for any match (but only 3 matches max).

    -Crew Votes are illegal.

    -1 vote is taken away for each vote you fail to do.

    -1 vote is taken away for each URL you fail to post on your thread.

    -No Show Winners must vote also! - Your thread will be kept open to post URL's.

    -Tiebreakers will be determined by the Moderators when the week winds down.

    ALTERNATES:
    If your opponent NO-SHOWS, and you posted a full verse you will be bumped up appropriately to face the next person in the brackets within your range. If no opponent is available such as if you were in the bottom 20 and the next up no show is in the top 10 then you will be given a win for your efforts. You must still vote on 5 matches accordingly as any failure to vote will result in no win and no progress in the ranks. The only event other than this in which you may take the no show win is if you only did post a no-show verse which consists of 4 rhyming lines.

    Topics:
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=993508

    test
  2. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    check....and I wanna request that tekneek doesn't vote in any more of my battles.
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  3. HellRzah

    HellRzah PurE EviL

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    lmfao!
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  4. UneekTestimony

    UneekTestimony New Member

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  5. UneekTestimony

    UneekTestimony New Member

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    Stressful Periods
    .
    .

    Built of ungodly blocks, a path clogged with hate,
    Throwing two body shots, a slap across the face,
    Passion lost in rage, my wrath's molding essence,
    Of sadness, hopelessness, dreaded; My past controls my present

    I remember. .
    Bruises, chosen marks, and rapture stashed,
    In a bag of feuds and, broken hearts, and shattered glass,
    Son of the coldest heart, this stranger trudged in friction,
    Liquor was his lover, and anger was his mistress,
    Taste of phelgm-like disgust, mixed with power and pain,
    Glimpse of a coward restrained, but with sour remains,
    See he hated his life, and was feeble at fault,
    So my face became reasons, and reasonable cause,
    For his pitiful life, inconsiderable probably,
    I was the glitch in his eye, and his miserable hobby,
    My father attempted emotion in a flimsy disguise,
    And every year, his tears ran on an empty supply,
    Unaffectionate bastard, I'm so flushed from within,
    And I dreamed of his touch, to the brush of his skin,
    I would kill to be proud, but I live in filth and denial,
    The shining ray beams from my lips now eclipse with my smile,
    Bloody mouth and spotted skin, I dreaded comments,
    My father's downfalls were hidden, embedded punches,
    I grew up, but I was still being taunted, grabbed,
    'I Fucking Hate You': His clear voice was a constant jab,
    A target till his last breath, and if I could only stand it,
    Because the burdens in his life were my only chances,
    I was raised to be nothing, but a supporter holding weight,
    A pinpoint for blood filled knuckles, worn out shoulder aches,
    See my father was a fuck up, and he birthed one too,
    Injustice becomes a cycle, my son's the third one due.
    .
    .
    I hold a grip on my son, triggering emotionless strain,
    Redness around my corneas, bitterness flows through my veins,
    Brings my father out of me, vengance my only purpose,
    As I beat him viciously, the tension amongst me surfaced.

    Dried blood, black eyes, infection pus eating flesh,
    The sigh of relief when alcohol finally puts me to rest,
    Peroxide, used cotton balls in overflowing trash cans,
    To heal the scars, bruises, and months of this constant bashing,
    My son's a replica of me, but change? I haven't budged yet,
    Just constantly cry and apologize for my abundance of blood fests,
    I feel powerful, for once, but I'm fearing this battle,
    Ciz sixteen years, a son later, and I'm STILL in his shadow,
    Night terrors pierce my thoughts, and it feeds in silence,
    Do unto others as they do unto you, so he bleeds like I did,
    I'm a selfish angry bastard, split of remorse and torn doubt,
    Revenge on my mind, love in my pocket, dried and worn out,
    The breed of ignorance, that's been supplied in mixed portions,
    On a family tree of nobodies, low lives, and misfortune,
    I AM MY FATHER, unpure, born, and full fleshed,
    When there's a wrong, there's a remedy, but I ain't been cured yet,
    So I sit, and dream-Of a day without grieving,
    Or a day that my son'll smile again, a day I'm not breathing.​

    -Nique.



    1. DipSet
    Become your abusive father...
    why do you hit your son?
    (which is you)...what happened to you
    when you were younger that you
    have become so violent?
    test
  6. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2001
    Messages:
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    [​IMG]


    As I look out into the world, I gaze at the wilderness
    The virgin….the calm…I debate on how real it is
    A seed planted by mother nature being faithful I will exist
    The confined…the outcast…it’s painful to feel at risk
    Cause sometimes a thought sneaks through, “maybe I’ll slit my wrist”
    The plot…the fear…im afraid if I slip that’s it
    I see a world I don’t know, so far away I wish and wish
    The urge….the want…for a way I can grip the bliss
    But wait…could this be it….how do I react to the truth
    We start as seeds, branch out, then extract from the youth
    There’s a path to dispute, we’ve all got a map to the proof
    It’s over the hill, and through the woods…
    …then straight back to the roots
    See it’s an accurate loop, but eventually there’s a break
    To cause an individual to start making mistakes
    The beginning of fate, from the first minute awake
    Straight to the final deep breath left at the end of the day
    Cant we just send it away…I stare at the sky and ponder
    Why I wandered in search of “him” but could never find my father
    There were many times he offered to listen but I was conquered
    By the devil in a red dress, and yes I died in honor
    But now these times provide a somber mood I stand in despair
    And feel uncomfortable cause im watched by the man in the air
    The overcast is a peeping tom, god enchanted a stare
    And everytime the wind blows I can feel his hands in my hair
    “GOD DAMN IT” I sware, a phrase created by man
    Probably the only words if written, that would stay in the sand
    Try to relate if you can, who tried to believe but you couldn’t
    Who tried to confess for your sins, and tell em your secrets but wouldn’t
    Have you been sleeping on cushion, tossing and turning on rocks
    You keep belongings in closets or by the church in a box
    You drive to work when it’s hot, or work on catching a ride
    Or have you been blind but didn't know it fromthe stress in your eyes
    Look...! every lesson aside, blind or not will you see the light
    And once your seed is planted will you grow leaves on the tree of life
    You either believe or not, it’s not I believe OR might
    See im ashamed cause im at the edge without any belief tonight
    I need you Christ, where’s the bible at? I need to turn the pages
    Cause im the only one that’s masked in a pupkin patch of burdened faces
    Im burning anxious, please judge me for what I deserve I’ll face
    But please trust me I need you god, can you please help me escape this
    ....
    ....
    The virgin makes it, the calm confines himself into an outcast
    The plot completes itself as the fear begins to outlast
    The urge becomes a doubt stacked, by wants, but the creed stalls
    This is nor heaven or hell, but a life ends as every leaf falls
    And trust me they all see saw, but I don’t got it in me
    To continue to stand with out faith and not expect the odds against me
    So here I stand withered...dying, in the midst of this autumn frenzy
    I prey, then spring begins….
    The first leaf…..and GOD forgives me!

    "Stressful Periods"




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  7. MC4SiGHT

    MC4SiGHT JOE COMMiSSO

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    uppin over no shows
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  8. MISSKEYdaQUEEN

    MISSKEYdaQUEEN Watch the black panther..

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    DAMMMNNN!!!

    [hide]This was a HOT ASS BATTLE! I mean for real!! I knew who won off rip but shiot let me just get into the break down. Nique, I'm impressed by your shit. I believe the topic was relatively easy, but your vocab and imagery really helped your verse. There is a lot of description and emotion in your verse for real. The flow for the most part was excellent...just a few tims off but whatever. Now Vern, I have so much respect for your skills. You are just illness. Your verse had me at rip with it's structure and flow. It was impeccable. I loved your verse.
    ^^^One of my favorite parts but overall your presence in this verse was just off the hook! Mad respect for this art man! VOTE: VERN aka DOYEN?[/hide]
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  9. mirage1

    mirage1 The One and Only

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    Nice match both of ya'll props
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  10. KareLess

    KareLess D.H.Brixton

    Joined:
    May 14, 2005
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    Nique -
    Well, Nique.. I'll start off with the mechanics coz they were almost perfect yet again. Your flow carried the piece, and made the piece hold its own. As for the topic, it was kinda typical the way you went with it, but you told it so fucking good. Your emotive style just jumped out, and you executed a bland topic in your own way.

    "Liquor was his lover, and anger was his mistress,"
    ^^ so nice..

    Sad story in truth, as the Daughter become what she never wanted to be.. but I guess thats what bad nurturing does for you. Nice drop, Nique.

    Vern Acular -
    Vern, I haven't had the good grace to read ANY of your work as I'm only at RM for a week here and a week there, but man I'm glad I'm back. 90+ plus wins, and you deserve it from what I read here. You keep a consistent style running throughout the piece, and you never change it.. which is hard to maintain, but you pull it off.

    "“GOD DAMN IT” I sware, a phrase created by man
    Probably the only words if written, that would stay in the sand"
    ^^the flow and content is dope. Favourite bar of the battle.

    I can go on about mechanics forever, but your downfall for me was the content. I liked the comparison with the leaves itself, but I just didn't get enthralled in it.. you know. It seemed a continuos read rather than any progression. Nether the less, this was still a really decent read.

    Overall -
    Both are mad dope with making a written piece readable, but it was a battle between stories.. and for me the winner has to be Nique.

    Vote: Nique.

    Props, and check out my battle.

    -Brix.
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  11. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

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  12. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    [hide]

    allow me to be brief...

    Nique...the flow and mechanics were what you did best in this piece, which is nothing new because those are always the strong suits in your piece...beyond that...you just like claus have that cookie cutter thing about your stories...it's the usual tale following psychological paths...the girl didn't want to become a certain type of person and alas that's who she became...no real shocker here...well written, but lacked anything interesting...

    Vern...the flow and mechanics here were spectacular as well, which is why you vs Nique is always a really interesting battle...what it came down to for me here though is that you had a more not run of the mill story...

    I'm going to give my vote to Vern for not having a cookie cutter story and actually giving me something interesting to read...

    [/hide]
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  13. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    [hide]
    kareless' vote does not count due to failure to post UBB CODES..


    GOT LIFE's vote does not count due to past beef/suspect biased voting...


    if Vern cant accept me to vote on this .... then its moreso doable that gOT LIFE's dont count....

    i dont have beef with VERN like NIQUE does with GOT LIFE..

    1-0 VERN
    [/hide]
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  14. 2Xtreme

    2Xtreme a.k.a. Mad Static 4:14

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    [hide]

    Okay here we go....

    Nique- You continue to amaze me every week. It looked like you really went deep into the topic you chose. You gave clear details throughout the entire story and I loved the way that you used your metaphors. Good use of emotion bringing in your lyrical depth as you portrayed yourself as the character you used in your story.

    Doyen (Vern)- I been amazed with your stories since I been here as well. You use your words very well, also you seem to have great imagery with your stories as well. The problem this time around, is that I kinda felt that your story did not fit well, with the picture/topic that you used for this battle, and therefore throughout I got lost.

    So for this battle, winner and still champion, Nique

    [/hide]
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  15. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    wtf kind of vote is that, if you dont understand the verse dont vote on it, lol, atleast critique it and tell me what made you vote against me, not that you couldn't follow it, for one it wasn't a story, it was a topical on the repetition of life with the leaves that fall and regrow being symbolic to the tree/cycle of life, hope it helps i dont like explaining my verses but that just urks me, anyway...


    votes...

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?p=13763631&posted=1#post13763631

    well that's the only one to vote on, I cant vote on my girlfreinds, so this is it, league is diminishing, im probably signing out, win or lose
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  16. UneekTestimony

    UneekTestimony New Member

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  17. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

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    lol@no one editing out the unhidden vote
    [hide]
    Coo battle
    Nique -- I like the how you came out from the topic; very emotional there; nice imagery with some cool rhyming. I liked your writers voice here, it dictated the pace of the piece very nicely. The subject matter itself was kinda cliche, i wouldnt call it a stressful period either i'd call it 'fucked up life' but nonetheless its true to its name. The ending was cool, kinda gave it a rabit hole ending; but i have to digress not every abused child abuses their children, but nice peice.

    Vern -- this was cool. i've done a piece simalar to this, but it involved the idea of the pheonix. The flow in this was very smooth and accompanied by almost a poetic writers voice that was trying to give his last thoughts on life. thats jus vibe i got from it

    your actual content was cool. I liked how you mixed the topical idea of the continuous cycle with the man in search of his roots, I dont see the relation to pumpkins all that much but that shit is whatever to me

    overall ima have to drop my vote to VERN in a very close battle, the only reason i left my vote like so is because i could agree with verns verse but not with niques, and at the end you were pretty even on all accounts, and i enjoyed the read about just as much, so i had no other way to base my vote in this particular predictament, good luck to both of you [/hide]
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  18. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

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    Hmm...this is mad funny...Vern had only 1 of 2 possible links...cause my battle /w pent he ignored for some reason...so if my vote isn't counted...they tied...btw...Tek IDK where you got that whole i'm biased idea from...
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  19. UneekTestimony

    UneekTestimony New Member

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    Hey nerd, you're not a Mod anymore, stop posting unecessary comments in my thread, thanks. and you are bias, but i honestly don't care.
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  20. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

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    Just checkin' some shit. Be easy Niq, ain't no need to get snappy...
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