TITLE MATCH:1 Dahlohner Champ 33-11 Vs #1 Richard Corey 8-1

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 23, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    TITLE MATCH: Champ - Dahlohner 33-11 Vs #1 Richard Corey 8-1

    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    Get Your Topics
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=642549

    LINE LIMIT:
    4 lines - NO SHOWS
    16 lines - MINIMAL
    60 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
    No crew votes
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO FOR IT!!!
    test
  2. DahLohner

    DahLohner Straight Up Un-Holy

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    I'll try my best to be here and defend this championship.

    IMOUT
    test
  3. Richard Corey

    Richard Corey battle like a savage

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    well, I guess unifying the titles isn't going to happen

    Votes:
    test
  4. Tha Talent

    Tha Talent , Tha Master.

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    read the stickied threads
    they are due Saturday but nebz is a little slow
    test
  5. Richard Corey

    Richard Corey battle like a savage

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    12. Living in the ghetto


    Ghetto Cause and Effect

    Eight grade Monica stops playing her harmonica
    When Mrs. Faye promised to, in a rage, admonish her
    for playing by the monitor up on the hallway wall
    blocking the security camera! In a bawled face, all
    little, itty-bitty pretty Monica really wanted to do
    was run tumbling to the city bench, in front of the stoop
    that witchy bitch got nothin' to do!
    Here comes momma
    with the blue blouse covering her pink slip
    here comes drama...

    Momma Mosley worked for Donald closely stockin' groceries
    supervising over Donald's son, the very obnoxious, Cody
    who liked to pocket mostly small trinkets for free
    but in the end the inventory likes to tell a different story
    So Ms. Mosley gets sent home to a whinin', cryin' child
    just when her anger at the world was finally dying down
    But she couldn't relax, so her daughter's quick squeals
    was the mule's broke back and Don's shattered windshield..

    Now Don's gettin' his windshield fixed, "That n*gger Bitch!"
    As quick as this, Cody's got a new word for the quicker kids
    cuz he's a little illiterate, and all the Black kids are smart
    the pain, a little bit, attached and grew in the back of his heart.
    So when Chastity Hart, danced in gym class, her talent and art
    Cody screamed, "n*gger" smacking her ass as fast as a dart
    as fast as that, Chastity’s heart tragically shattered apart
    she was ugly, she didn't have to hear half their savage remarks

    She made it home to her bathroom, quietly cried at the mirror
    the sight of her broad nose made her bright eyes fire and tear up
    She was just an ugly Black Bitch, a n*gger, a Black fool
    she took two Advil capsules...then grabbed another cap full...


    she left them in the sink and frantically cried...
    she couldn't do it...
    but her little brother Cassidy tried...
    nothin' to it...

    Everyone was asleep, he shouldn't have really been up
    he had to pee... when he saw all the pills still in the cup...
    Now his itty-bitty stomach's making little fidgety sounds
    and white foam is coming out of his itty-bitty mini-me mouth...
    His eyes glass over, as he chokes so hard his chest caves
    he dies scared and alone and not found until the next day

    The story gets played over and over on every T.V. station
    The drug sensation, Ricardo Vaz's looking for inspiration
    "I could chop up extacy and lace it with Advil for filler
    take 'em to the club tonight, and call em' Cassidy Killers!"

    CK was a huge hit at the teen rave, they quickly replaced
    other club drugs, cause "Hey, Ric says they're totally safe!"
    fuckin' dopamine slaves, ravers with disposable brains
    almost choke on the smoke as the club gets closed in a raid
    But Pam wasn't close to afraid...she'd already ingested
    four pills! Two more while watchin' Ric gettin' arrested...

    She jumped in her car with her friends, the fun died down
    when she started wondering why they were all upside down...
    She hit Tom's car so fast, he couldn't protect his child
    who flew thru both windshields and turned into a projectile
    the kid hit Pam in the face so hard, he snapped her neck
    everyone else was thrown clear with only fractured legs

    The little boy, Austin, was an awesome prodigy flute player
    He asked to pray before the crash; probably a soothsayer,
    Now he's getting arranged by autopsy doctor Betty Faye
    who thinks he reminds her of a child she yelled at yesterday
    for playing in front of the apartment's security camera...
    what was her name Shondra? TaWana? Wanda? ... Tamera?
    Monica? Whatever, she groaned, rippin' his carcass apart
    "These people need to learn to solve the problems they start!"




    edited to replace the n-word
    test
  6. DahLohner

    DahLohner Straight Up Un-Holy

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 1999
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    7. "All That I Got is You"

    *READ it well..it's two parts of a story, wrapped up in one, one told as a stream of conscienceness, the other a narrative*

    ***​


    After the third kick it was simple to stay down.../
    We met and held hands as we sat in the playground/

    Ever since I stepped foot in this palace of rust.../
    I complimented him, with hugs, established a trust/

    It's been hell, each day surpassed by the next.../
    He gasped when I said Spongebob is the best/

    Cuz they learned of the crime I committed and knew.../
    I asked "Do you mind it if I'm visiting you?"

    I'm a predator too weak to pick on his own.../
    "I'm pretending to be a king who sits on his throne.."

    Despised despite expressed self-revulsion.../
    And I need a prince" then after his expulsion

    At least I could have followed biological laws.../
    He came to see ME! He had no logical cause

    My myopical flaws, at the time went unconsidered.../
    Just wanted to pause for a minute, he tittered

    Cuz my lust blustered up in a bubble, explosive.../
    I squeezed his hand, hoping he'd catch emotions

    Now my outbursts get paid in full by the inmates.../
    A rise in his pants with my hands in his lap, his skin tastes/

    How could he BLAME me, stranded to ROT here../
    Like dirt and grass, I whispered "Do not fear.."

    It took two to do what he says I forced on him../
    Exposed him to the sun and my love scorched, droppin

    At least now I'm reading in between the beatings../
    To my knees and leaving teeth marks drenched in semen/

    In between the bleeding, I still fantasize/
    Everything was fine until I hastily grabbed his thighs

    Cuz his skin was pure flame as I pressed my flesh to it../
    Then he changed his mind when he felt the wet fluid

    But those thoughts are what got me trouble to start with../
    Crawl down his leg, he bled..ran to my apartment/

    My cellmate hated how I'd jerk it at night.../
    I gave chase, and we started to curse and to fight/

    Screaming out his name, until the fists flew forth.../
    I ask "What's wrong??" "My dick hurts like I pissed 2 quarts"/

    But it made my skin tingle, as the pain numbed slow../
    "You'll get used to it" but that jus got my thumb broke/

    I realized that I really liked the knuckles and bruises/
    As he ran out, pants off, I wasn't gonna lose him!

    I climaxed as the impact of kicks rammed in.../
    I fired three shots, each hot lick landed

    Now my soap never stays in one place for "some reason"../
    I cried and screamed, I didn't mean to leave his chest steamin

    Hehe, I've come to love receiving the gift I used to give/
    And without him, I simply refuse to live/

    Especially when it's given with a fist, a curse, and spit/
    But before I had a chance to put two bullets in my wig/

    Shit, what I did isn't exactly a sin though../
    Two cops caught a glimpse of me thru their car window

    Then burn Socrates for educating the masses/..
    They'll never understand a man's love for boys, those fascists..

    IMOUT
    test
  7. LiQuiDliFe

    LiQuiDliFe RSTL Phenom

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    im not gonna vote...

    for one when i first viewed this thread....Richard coreys was the only verse posted....i gave him props for his verse...then like 1 minute later...dalonher posted his verse...so if i was to vote it would be kinda bias already...so i wont vote


    but this shit was definetly the best match i've seen posted...word
    test
  8. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    test
  9. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

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    This is one of the best topical battles I have ever seen...I liked Dahloner's verse, it was unique in structure, had a nice story and imagery, but had little detail and could have developed some lines in his verse...

    RC had the best verse, IMO...his multis were crazy and flow were sick, but he also exaggerated on the storyline and his imagery and detail to the topic was excellent...

    dope battle, but my vote goes to Richard Corey
    test
  10. Tha Talent

    Tha Talent , Tha Master.

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    i read Dah's verse twice
    once as a whole, then once reading only the italics first, then only the plain text.
    that was a dope verse, though i must say i've read far better from you.
    the concept itself was pretty good
    and you developed it
    but the flow wasn't up to the standards you have set for yourself
    and it needed a little more..

    Richard Corey - mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
    i love your verses - and this was one of the best
    such wonderful character development and internal rhyme that made it flow so well
    beautifully told, tapestried to let us into the scenario
    and you used a writers voice more exposed to the vernacular you were dealing with
    what can i say - you know how to write.

    vote=Richard Corey
    test
  11. LiQuiDliFe

    LiQuiDliFe RSTL Phenom

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    this is gay how the title match only has 2 votes so far
    test
  12. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    ^^ yes i agree.. this was really some good story by both... however one of them stuck out more then the other after reading them a few times.... gotta say richard corry def stepped up his game after taking a loss last week in the tourny.. i see how u sorta changed ya writing into a more story form style this week an i really enjoyed it..
    dah.. what can i say man u dropped another great verse.. just not as eye catching as ya oponents this time..


    vote richard corey

    best luck to whoever win.
    test
  13. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

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    400
    Two very nice verses here, both did a good job at staying on topice. I was feeling one more than the other though, and I'm gonna have to go against the grain and vote for Dahloner, just something about hooked me, nice battle peeps.

    Vote: Dahloner
    test
  14. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    Richard Corey Wins, Damn only 3 Votes

    RC New Champ
    test
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