Throughts run thru my mind!

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by icedemond666, May 26, 2003.

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  1. icedemond666

    icedemond666 §pilla illest killa

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2001
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    You kno i thought you liked me...

    Maybe i was wrong.maybe i was right...

    But why try and fight my feelings for you..

    Girl i love you.. your all i think about..

    Between night and day you take everything wrong and make it okay..

    but i find out you dont have the same feelings.. it hurts..

    This is not a hard concept to understand

    In this moment in time i'm your biggest fan..

    YOur all i think about 60 seconds a minute 60 minutes a hour

    24 hours a day 7 days a week 4 weeks a month 12 months a year..

    and it goes on from there..

    Your the only girl i look at and automaticly am happy

    Your the girl of my dreams of my life...

    If i was a little bit older i would ask you to be my wife!
    test
  2. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
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    "YOur all i think about 60 seconds a minute 60 minutes a hour

    24 hours a day 7 days a week 4 weeks a month 12 months a year..

    and it goes on from there.."


    I was feeling how you used the times of seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, etc. Very thoughout concept to examine how much you do think and cherish this individual you speak about. Even talking about marriage at the end of it, not bad. It was a bit simplistic, although no poetry may become too simple to actually write, feel me? Although, I just thought you instrumented this poem a bit too fast and threw everything down that was in your heart and on the mind. Not saying it was bad, actually that's very healthy for you mentally, mos def. Just take a bit more time to come up with something longer, because it has the potential of being more than what it is now, yam sayin'? My blessings..
    test
  3. icedemond666

    icedemond666 §pilla illest killa

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    yo thanx for the reply much luv on that thanx resp.
    test
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