"Three Troubled Life's"

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by TimmayB, Oct 13, 2003.

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  1. TimmayB

    TimmayB Stay Up.

    Joined:
    May 16, 2002
    Messages:
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    Any input is appreciated...


    Verse 1:
    I see what your daddy do, beatin his daughter//
    then questions why you won't call him father.
    Out all night -- he partyin, drunk and shit//
    Leavin you at home, watchin his other kid.
    Ya'll poor, yet he stay cracks smokin//
    and your mind hold too much pain to put out in the opn.
    But you need to, baby -- get this shit off your mind//
    I swear next time daddy swing at you'll be the last time.
    I'm your man, I want what's best for you//
    if it mean killin daddy, it's somethin you gotta do.
    Left her with these words -- stranded in cold air///
    Daddy'd be home soon, ain't no time to spare.

    Verse 2:
    She thought about it in her bed, trip down memory lane//
    back of her mind, sees daddy sniffin cocaine.
    Moms ain't around, died when she was five//
    she only sixteen, wanna end her daddy's life.
    In her plans, her boyfriend's glock//
    time comin close, she glance at the clock.
    She sat down wit the gat -- what she about to do//
    Killin her own father simply ain't seem cool.
    Sure he hit her, but so did her man//
    looked down and placed the gat, into her hand.
    She was stuck in the middle, daddy and boyfriend hate each other//
    Puts the glock up to her head like, "Here I come mother".

    Verse 3:
    The blast was heard a block down the street//
    when heard by her man he ran back in retreat.
    Immediately he realized, shit was wrong//
    the gunshot fired, daddy already gone.
    Burst into the house, ran in her room//
    what he saw swept him away like a brrom.
    Grabbed his gat, the one his girl used to end her life//
    placed it to his head, made it both their last nights.
    Right as he pulled the trigger, daddy walk in.//
    the sound of the gunshot made him cringe.
    Upon viewin his little girl's room/
    dad broke down to the floor, crying up a monsoon.
    In anger, in rage -- how'd shit happen this way?//
    test
  2. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
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    Damn this was a sad story man, and i personally know of some shit that happen like this from where i'm from. Shit is so common here. The only thing i didnt like about it was, the forcing. On some parts it seemed like you was forcing...work on that

    good shit

    one luv
    test
  3. TimmayB

    TimmayB Stay Up.

    Joined:
    May 16, 2002
    Messages:
    1,180
    Thanks for the feedback, fam.
    test
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