"Three Troubled Life's"

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by TimmayB, Oct 13, 2003.

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  1. TimmayB

    TimmayB Stay Up.

    May 16, 2002
    Any input is appreciated...

    Verse 1:
    I see what your daddy do, beatin his daughter//
    then questions why you won't call him father.
    Out all night -- he partyin, drunk and shit//
    Leavin you at home, watchin his other kid.
    Ya'll poor, yet he stay cracks smokin//
    and your mind hold too much pain to put out in the opn.
    But you need to, baby -- get this shit off your mind//
    I swear next time daddy swing at you'll be the last time.
    I'm your man, I want what's best for you//
    if it mean killin daddy, it's somethin you gotta do.
    Left her with these words -- stranded in cold air///
    Daddy'd be home soon, ain't no time to spare.

    Verse 2:
    She thought about it in her bed, trip down memory lane//
    back of her mind, sees daddy sniffin cocaine.
    Moms ain't around, died when she was five//
    she only sixteen, wanna end her daddy's life.
    In her plans, her boyfriend's glock//
    time comin close, she glance at the clock.
    She sat down wit the gat -- what she about to do//
    Killin her own father simply ain't seem cool.
    Sure he hit her, but so did her man//
    looked down and placed the gat, into her hand.
    She was stuck in the middle, daddy and boyfriend hate each other//
    Puts the glock up to her head like, "Here I come mother".

    Verse 3:
    The blast was heard a block down the street//
    when heard by her man he ran back in retreat.
    Immediately he realized, shit was wrong//
    the gunshot fired, daddy already gone.
    Burst into the house, ran in her room//
    what he saw swept him away like a brrom.
    Grabbed his gat, the one his girl used to end her life//
    placed it to his head, made it both their last nights.
    Right as he pulled the trigger, daddy walk in.//
    the sound of the gunshot made him cringe.
    Upon viewin his little girl's room/
    dad broke down to the floor, crying up a monsoon.
    In anger, in rage -- how'd shit happen this way?//
  2. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Apr 10, 2001
    Damn this was a sad story man, and i personally know of some shit that happen like this from where i'm from. Shit is so common here. The only thing i didnt like about it was, the forcing. On some parts it seemed like you was forcing...work on that

    good shit

    one luv
  3. TimmayB

    TimmayB Stay Up.

    May 16, 2002
    Thanks for the feedback, fam.
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