Thoughts

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Contak617, Mar 29, 2005.

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  1. Contak617

    Contak617 New Member

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    Just some thoughts that came to my head. Say what you want. Flow's not the smoothest but it had to be out. I don't even like it. This is my first time postin on this thread so be nice.


    I write in red cuz I speak with my heart
    bleedin across the page or readin it on a stage I'm living my verses I guess that makes me a Sage/
    My skin I was always told would keep me from being equal/
    So when I was 5 I found a pen to put myself above people/ I
    've written through tears as I watched the scars on my wrist begin to clear/
    the only friend I had was a notepad I kept through the years/
    I left my life in there you can read it between the lines/
    When I was 13 I was ahead of my time/
    so when my soul died a year later it didn't seem like a crime/
    of murdered innocence in the first degree/
    cuz even then I knew it would be the rebirth of me/
    And when I brushed the remnants of my past off my shoulder/
    I wasn't surprised that I was both younger and older/
    Because the passage of minutes and seconds can't record or reckon the growth of a soldier/
    you feel me?/
    I've been in the trenches since I was conceived/
    and I've been bearin the scars of a thousand battles to believe/
    that this life is not in vain/
    And even though my shoulders are bent from carryin this pain/
    at least I can hide my tears when it rains
    test
  2. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    1,990
    Wtf, Did you just say this didn't flow smoothly? Sure did to me... I am really digging this man... I am really liking this... I thought it was real hot... Real nice... I would love to collab with you sometime...

    favorite lines


    you feel me?/
    I've been in the trenches since I was conceived/
    and I've been bearin the scars of a thousand battles to believe/
    that this life is not in vain/


    that was real hot.....
    test
  3. Philly_215

    Philly_215 The Silent Poet

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    Messages:
    436
    its a damn shame this is being slept on. but yo since i never checked you out i was skeptical (nothing personal its just there are so many styles in here i don't want to go into it with false ideas and miss there point cause i got tunnel vision you feel me ) but those first two lines made me sit up in my chair and that excitment never stopped. this was deep as a mutherhumper and if this is one you don't like shit when you drop one you do like your going to make my heart and mind stop lol

    hot shit fam.

    yo Join the PTL i would love to battle you
    test
  4. MarQuise*

    MarQuise* Can You Hear Me*

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2004
    Messages:
    5,268
    first thing ive ever read from you, and althou i thought it started off a lil dry it picked up, and i really enjoyed it...

    I left my life in there you can read it between the lines/

    that was my fave line...

    it flowed real nice, good reading...

    Much Lv

    *S*
    test
  5. Contak617

    Contak617 New Member

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    Haha it's the first thing you read cuz it's the first thing I've ever posted. thanks a lot y'all. I really appreciate it. When I first started checkin this site I honestly asked myself what took me so long to find my way here. I guess I'll keep puttin ish down then. One love.
    test
  6. AngerManagement

    AngerManagement New Member

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    Jan 16, 2005
    Messages:
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    what a flow that was man it was soooo slickly written, i loved the "My skin I was always told would keep me from being equal, So when I was 5 I found a pen to put myself above people" that one of the best lines i've ever seen keep doin what your doin man
    test
  7. Czarina WiseDome

    Czarina WiseDome Dikin' since 83...

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    I love the quote in your sig...

    'I've written through tears as I watched the scars on my wrist begin to clear/
    the only friend I had was a notepad I kept through the years/' - felt

    'I left my life in there you can read it between the lines/
    When I was 13 I was ahead of my time/
    so when my soul died a year later it didn't seem like a crime/ '- dope..

    good piece.. peace!
    test
  8. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    17,331
    Decent piece. I really liked the first line, kinda kept me interested in the piece from there. Piece had it's ups and downs, but I think the structure should be worked out a bit. Welcome to the realm, hope to see more frome you soon.

    one luv
    test
  9. Contak617

    Contak617 New Member

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    ^^^Thank you for that. I agree
    test
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