Thought Provoking(lil' keystyle I threw together)

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by AlmostFamous, Feb 19, 2005.

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  1. AlmostFamous

    AlmostFamous U got a problem?

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    Darkness take my hand
    Lead me through a past of regret
    In the night I'm confined to you as we both become one
    Sorrow and pain divide an already unsteady mind
    Liquid drops of disappointment shed in the midst of my qualms
    Yet you are there with a veil
    Now no one shall see
    I hunger for a stretched out hand of acceptance
    Nevertheless I still crave
    The nourishment of the darkness
    Satisfies a cynical belly
    Love momentarily loses its way to a heart draped in darkness
    I wait to be discovered
    Again. . . .
    test
  2. This was a lil intriguing piece. The imagery displayed a willingness to tackle the darker side of human nature, infact to the extent when it became confusing as to which side you were actually longing for..It made me wonder about the discovery...Good job!
    test
  3. AlmostFamous

    AlmostFamous U got a problem?

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    thanks kindly for the feedback !! lol

    Im in the neutral position when it comes to the question you asked
    test
  4. Dialted

    Dialted Mr. Ted dial

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    ooooooooh, i like this. Very dark and uhm, dark [teet].. jp.. its a nice piece, very imagery driven, descriptive tale of the human way of thinking.

    Good piece.
    test
  5. Soular Guided

    Soular Guided Soulful Dike...

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    The ending left me kicking myself.. like wheres the rest.. I crave for length.. this piece built alot of intensity.. like reaching a climax and never cummin..
    test
  6. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

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    Liquid drops of disappointment shed in the midst of my qualms
    I like that. The acceptance part as well, and how you stayed on point, I guess relating yourself with darkness, for the moment. I had my share of setbacks, but I try not to let my emotions extend that to a lengthy drawback. It's not easy, but oddly enough lol I've gotten through some tough things.

    In the poem its as if you feel comfortable where you are, umm I don't know if its making sense like I want it-but you're secluded from the world, all except the agony feeling, but you try and ignore it and just breaaaathe. You don't know what the next day is going to bring, if willing-but you're mindstate isn't really set on that, just right now.
    -Much Love
    test
  7. AlmostFamous

    AlmostFamous U got a problem?

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    damn lol is that really how you felt at the end

    the whole climax statement.. sorry if you never cummed!! oh boy I need to get a handle on myself, where are my manners!!

    just joking around and thanks for the reply, next time I write I will have some more to get off my chest than what I did this time, so you will get your wish, crave for length jeez.. !!

    Famous
    test
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