This Evil's Passion

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Wicked5744, Nov 2, 2003.

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  1. Wicked5744

    Wicked5744 Last I awoke, it was morn

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    One day this simple day,
    I saw her,
    I looked at her,
    She looked at me,
    For a moment,
    Finally free,
    Her smile breaks my chains,
    Frees me from the moment of solitude,
    Truth and honesty flow fast,
    The current so strong,
    It sweeps my evils down stream,
    Down,
    Down to infinity.
    Infinity is what I wish this was,
    But infinity never stays,
    Infinity circles back to start.
    What game board is this played on.
    Once again I await the dawn,
    By this stream through which bliss flows,
    A fawn,
    A defenseless young being,
    Attacked by a straggling evil,
    Devouring every part of the young,
    As a vulture on a carcass,
    So as I looked at this young woman,
    Whom stared back,
    She parishes into her own fate,
    and I mine,
    Because of the lasting evil lurking,
    Forever hounding me,
    and my love.
    test
  2. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    12,678
    Truth and honesty flow fast,

    i likes..seems like a reall way u could feel...cant say that i've ever felt like that though....very nice line

    whole piece was nice...actually thought u were gonna end it a lil different..but i like that more....keep droppin
    test
  3. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

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    Nov 23, 2002
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    758
    i thought it was nice...the use of the last word of one line as the first in the other...i use that a lot in my pieces..i like it
    test
  4. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    See, I like it when writers use visual techniques for the readers to try and find, because some poetry, as powerful as it is, is boring to read because theirs nothing behind it other than the words...But yeah, dope poem as usual...
    test
  5. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    I was finally the ending, didnt see it coming. Powerful piece

    one luv
    test
  6. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    Jul 26, 2002
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    its funny how a single look can be so powerful and how its rare when it happens - good job ^
    test
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