"The Stone-Cold Truth" by Vizz. Rapmusic's First Wrestling Column.

Discussion in 'Smack Down!' started by Vizz, Jul 9, 2006.

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  1. Vizz

    Vizz Switch Blade

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    My name is Drew. I watch wrestling. My plans exist AROUND watching it. Monday nights, I dont leave till 11. The only thing I dont watch is IMPACT. Thursday night is ladies night at our local "Miller Ale House", and I never miss the bitches @ that. I watch all WWE programming though; the ECW2000 included. (lol). I even watch RAW on Sundays on the local Spanish channel just for the hell of it. Im usually just waking up at that time and i have cable TV in my room. BOOYAH.

    In here you will find insightful truthful examinations of the current product. If you havent watched wrestling in a while, or missed a show, this is where you will catch up to speed with the rest of us.

    with that..lets begin




    ECW2000:

    HEYMAN-VS-RVD

    Wow. Rob is going to be gone 30 days, which means, for the next month, Heyman is going to be trash-talking him on Television. Heyman promos = Good thing for the new ECW, as the show is very boring in terms of character depth. No one has said anything about each other yet, minus the top guys who we already know can talk. Mike Knoxx tried to do a WWE promo, and got told to shut the fuck up, so he doesnt even count.


    BIG SHOW-VS-THE ROSTER(and poor tommy dreamer)

    For those of you who remember the original ECW of old, this is basically what wouldve happened if 911 could wrestle without Rey Mysterio. Paul managed 911, the giant of the late-ECW in the early 90s, but never put the title on him. He sucked. Big Show can wrestle though. Hes going to squash Tommy Dreamer over and over like Raven used to leading up to Van Dams return.

    MIKE KNOXX HAS A GIRLFRIEND

    Ok, Knoxx has a hot girlfriend. I really dont even remember if she was at ringside for his match this week? His finisher is great. Someone is going to hit on his girlfriend. Obvious. Either Richards, Snow, or Balls Mahoney. Which will result in another squash. WWE booking 101.

    TEST IS BACK!!!

    A-Train is in Japan, why dont they go fish him out of the sushi waters while they are at it. At least hes held a credible World title. Test without Stacy Keibler is like the sandman without Metallica Music, =*( . On the plus side, his finisher looks like it will kill someone, so book him against Mike Knoxx, and no one loses. I have no idea who they are going to have Test wrestle. Hes too big for the roster, unless they bring back Mike Awesome. THAT would be fucking cool. Masato Tanaka would be cooler. CW Anderson would be perfect. Ok, maybe I do have an idea. Test will go over whoever.

    MORDECAI WITH YET ANOTHER RIDICULOUS CULT GIMMICK

    At least this one cant fail on the Sci-Fi network. If they get smart, and bring back Gangrel, and maybe draft Kane for the hell of it, this would be so great. Matches against the FBI, anyone? (Why Vito put on a dress and didnt come over to establish that group is the dumbest thing...) Who knows who will be squashed by the vampire. Is Vampiro still in Mexico? Or is he doing Wrestle Society X? Im so confused by this aimless booking. Who in the world are these people going to feud with, and over what, theres only one title in ECW. How about you take that huge, untapped talent roster, say fuck the debuts, and have a T.V. title tournament, on, uh, T. FUCKING V. !!! Maybe Mordecai will win that??

    SANDMAN SQUASHES FICTIONAL WRESTLERS

    Theyve actually turned the Sandman into a sideshow act. He comes out with his Cane and beer, and canes a random character, everynight. People paid to see this. Its a carnival act, officially.

    SABU IS COMING.......AGAIN

    Promo videos for the man whose been on the program squashing established guys. Fucking shoot yourselves WWE, give him a feud. I geuss they just arent booking anything because theres no fucking ECW ppv coming up.

    CM PUNK HAS ARRIVED

    And theres nothing else to add.



    RAW:

    MCMAHON-VS-HHH AND! SHAWN MICHAELS

    Shawn Michaels has been getting the best of Vince McMahon since Wrestlemania 22. All the McMahons to be honest. Vince's son in law is on his side. Its really nothing we havent seen before. You got 5 good wrestlers being made to look like a bunch of cheering jackasses on top of it. its 2 on 5 (and plus shane and vince, 7), and Hunter and Shawn still end up on the winning end, constantly. They should be getting killed. I want the cheerleaders to snap and start coming out in black or something, that gimmick needs to die, they arent getting any credibility. DX is funny, but the wrestling is boring. Its the rock n roll express against the four flaming horsemen everynight.

    EDGE GETS LUCKY; AGAIN

    Edge is over. Way over. He fucked loveable Matt Hardy's girlfriend. He stole the WWE title after the elimination chamber. He cheats, hes cowardly, and he beat Micky Foley at Wrestlemania in a hardcore match. Every one hates him. He was the only way to take the belt off the pothead. Cena was too obvious, and wouldve made ECW fans riot. They will feud though. It will be boring, as Im not in the chain gang. Half a brain would let him wrestle Chris Beniot, but sigh, wrong roster. The other half of brain would let him wrestle Shawn Michaels, but sigh, Vince thinks hes his own biggest draw.

    THE HIGHLANDERS ARE HERE

    Funny guys. Are these guys going to beat the Spirit Squad for the tag titles? With help from DX I suppose? I have no idea why they would debut on the RAW brand unless that is the ultimate idea. Conway and Striker got thrown together, but Striker doesnt get any ring time, so its not like there is any feud potential there. MNM is broken up. Show and Kane are broken up. Who else is there? Murdoch and Cade ahahahahahaha. Snitskydust ahahahahaaha. Sexual Chocolate (Venis and Viscera) ahahahaahah. More aimless booking.


    MIXED GENDER TIME!!

    The IC Champ and Melina against Trish and Carlito. Nice way to waste Carlito's time. Put the title on him and call it a day, hes the next Rock. Yeah, I said it. I cant see Nitro without his tag team partner. Hes a lame singles wrestler, his outfit screams "theres someone else dressed like me SOMEwhere just not here right now with me". Everytime i see this guy wrestle all i think is "fuck man your sorry tag out oh wait your a singles guy now".

    ORTON-VS-HOGAN

    I hope Hogan catches him banging Brooke in a locker. Maybe he'll kidnap her or something extra-ridiculous. Just no smashing limos and cars into each other like Kevin Nash's WCW booking. Please none of that. Hogan cant even run the ropes these days, so expect Orton to go way over, and maybe even get a little pie. Hes the legend killer.

    UMAGA-VS-ANYONE

    Hes going to do something, eventually. I promise. He isn't completely undefeated and totally squashing everyone and everything for nothing. His manager is golden. Do something with him already...



    SMACKDOWN: (to be added later when i watch the Tivo of it)
    test
  2. Little Lotus

    Little Lotus New Member

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    i could understand watching raw over impact.. but SMACKDOWN!?

    wow..
    test
  3. Corey Feldman

    Corey Feldman Generalissimo Abzkada

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    Hogan has complete creative control over his character. Hogan also has a huge ego. Don't expect Orton to win. He probably won't even get to look good while losing.

    Vince pulling a screwjob on Hogan would be beautiful though. If he just RANG THE FUCKING BELL while Orton had Hogan in a chinlock or something. It would be better than the shit Russo "pulled" on Hogan. The only reason Hogan's doing this is to hype Brooke's alleged music career, which is really just him living out his own musical fantasies.
    test
  4. M-theory

    M-theory Saint Esprit

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    Randy Orton is going to give Brooke a way to get in contact with him. Hogan is going to find birth control pills or a condom in Brooke's bag, and answer her ringing cell phone (without saying anything) to hear Randy on the other end. During the Hogan vs. Orton match, Brooke is going to come out to plead with Orton to stop beating on on her dad, and when it's time for the RKO, Hogan's going to pull Brooke in front of him, and she falls victim to the RKO unintentionally on Orton's end. Randy will be all "Oh no, what is happening... are you OK Brooke?" as Hogan pulls off the most shocking heel turn in the industry since 1996 at Bash at the Beach when he joined Hall & Nash.
    test
  5. Toucan_Sam1

    Toucan_Sam1 aka 2can Shakur

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    Anybody whose "plans revolving around watching wrestling" and doesn't watch TNA is a front...
    test
  6. Little Lotus

    Little Lotus New Member

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    the nwo is coming back

    mark my words..
    test
  7. Nam Dekan

    Nam Dekan i got a tip in my pocket

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    You can always watch TNA on Saturday or use that primitive device known as the VCR
    test
  8. Corey Feldman

    Corey Feldman Generalissimo Abzkada

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    You'll know it's a storyline when that's all he finds in the bag.
    test
  9. Macabre

    Macabre via Fatality

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    I seriously doubt it.

    I read not too long ago that Scott Hall is basically MIA.
    test
  10. Little Lotus

    Little Lotus New Member

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    haha dont trust it dude.. it might be a work

    look at the whole matt hardy thing

    i think vince suckered the internet fans

    are u watching raw?
    test
  11. Macabre

    Macabre via Fatality

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    Yeah.

    They are just bringing back Hogan at SNME to do a feud with Orton.

    You also got to think about Nash being in TNA, X pac being in Wrestling Society X or whatever the fuck, buff bagwell doing softcore gay porn, and so on.

    If they did bring it back, I don't see any possible way of making it interesting again, ESPECIALLY without the original guys.
    test
  12. Little Lotus

    Little Lotus New Member

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    bagwell is gay? wtf?!

    the original nwo was nash,hogan, hall, and bishcoff

    hall doesnt have a contract with tna

    nash's contract is up in august i think.. he just came back to finish off the dates on his contract

    hogan and bischoff are signed to the wwe..

    IM JUST SAYING.. i find it fishy

    a lot of people would like to see dx vs nwo

    side note edit:

    i just remembered.. bagwell wrestles in some canadian fed were steiner was before joining tna

    but the gay thing is kind of schocking.. well, not really.. bagwell has always been kind of gay
    test
  13. Nam Dekan

    Nam Dekan i got a tip in my pocket

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    HBK is supposed to be leaving after Summerslam for quite sometime

    The whole nWo thing just needs to remain dead, it's been done to death and keeps getting worse each go around...

    Nash's contract is actually through October of this year...
    test
  14. Corey Feldman

    Corey Feldman Generalissimo Abzkada

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    Bischoff isn't under contract any more. Hall is probably passed out under a bridge somewhere in Puerto Rico. Nash is in TNA and needs to stay there because his team with Alex Shelley (and now Johnny Devine) is probably the most entertainin thing in wrestling. Hogan's ego won't let him turn heel again. The NWO is never happening again, and that's a good thing.
    test
  15. Nam Dekan

    Nam Dekan i got a tip in my pocket

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    Oh yeah Bischoffs contract was up this week or last week
    test
  16. Macabre

    Macabre via Fatality

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    lol.

    joke, man.
    test
  17. Little Lotus

    Little Lotus New Member

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    tna in 60 days??
    test
  18. Corey Feldman

    Corey Feldman Generalissimo Abzkada

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    I doubt he'd be interested even if TNA could afford him.
    test
  19. Little Lotus

    Little Lotus New Member

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    bischoff could turn tna around if they let him be the president like in wcw
    test
  20. Corey Feldman

    Corey Feldman Generalissimo Abzkada

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    He wouldn't know what to do without Ted Turner's money to throw around. The only way he's of any value any more is as an on-screen character.
    test
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