The passion of humanity just passes by,

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by fairydance2000, Jan 19, 2011.

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  1. fairydance2000

    fairydance2000 don't wait, Procrastinate

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    Messages:
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    I passed by a man down on his luck.
    Begging for $1 or anything you have got.
    Mother looks at me, she said in a quiet voice,
    DON’T look at him, He made his choice.
    I looked at my mother with her nose in the air.
    Marching off. Not even pretending to care.
    My thoughts wandering as we walked away,
    What was his storey that put him here today?
    This man was too young to be here like this.
    Needing your help. To escape from his apparent abyss.
    Watching others as they pass him by.
    “Not a hand out. Just a hand up.” Was his catch cry.
    But still no one stopped, they just walk even fast.
    Smiling and talking as they reach the arms of their pastor.
    We all get seated and the preaching begins.
    Telling us about Jesus and how he died for our sins.
    While I listened to every word that he read.
    The man in the street was trapped in my head.
    Puzzled as to why he was not here with us.
    But god knows best. In him we must trust.
    The plate is passed and filled to the brim.
    But still my thoughts are thinking of him,
    The man on the street with nowhere to go.
    Alone and cold in the falling snow.
    I hold my $1 tight in my fist.
    I have better plans for it. It won’t be missed.
    Finely finished, I’m first out the door.
    To find the man I saw before.
    He was still there. Still all alone.
    I gave him my $1 so he could call home.
    I placed the coin in his cold blue hand.
    He didn’t respond, I didn’t understand.
    test
  2. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,146
    woah you def surprised me..
    entertaining the whole way, a well delivered story..

    you'll do well in the rstl..

    good luck i hope that this gets replies..
    test
  3. Cigma

    Cigma Maxwell's Demon

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    12,377
    This man was too young to be here like this.
    Needing your help. To escape from his apparent abyss.

    favorite line

    this is poignant and touching
    people are high minded but their actions are underhanded eh

    i thought it was cool how you used the two scenes and the
    meaning grew from the disparity

    also the end was well delivered and impactful since it maintained
    that child innocence... which makes it more wrenching
    test
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