~The Mirror Argument~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Mind~$oul, May 10, 2005.

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  1. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    waking up thinking somebody's
    hands were on me...
    it's just the drugs and another
    Sunday morning...
    The corners are empty
    and quite moody...
    the vice lords and
    disciples are truce'n...
    the preachers are moving
    the bible are in their hands
    the sweat are on their brows
    it's time for proving...
    to the back row hooligans...
    appropriately dressed in
    white tees, jeans, and scuffed
    chucks and forces...

    I've been there before...
    the grudge matches with lonely poets
    who questioned my soul...
    back against the walls
    teasing the tightropes...
    the devil's greatest creation
    isnt the sci-fi channels...
    or some silly UFO's
    the greatest deception is fearing
    what you don't know...
    open your eyes and shut your mouth
    you might learn more...
    I dont know where you've been
    but you couldn't walk my roads...
    not with your soft heart and
    your holy ghost...
    the opposition will
    eat...you...whole...
    everything you see in the sky
    isn't truth and golds....

    It's a shame when two "n.iggas"
    cant get along...
    on a religious tip...
    came together as one
    chained and whipped...
    now we'll kill each other
    over chains and whips...

    we'll sell our religion
    through some five
    page pamphlet
    at gas stations...

    we'll sell our religion
    on a bow tie and
    fruit basket....

    anything to please god
    and fill them pockets...
    anything to please god
    and avoid hell's pits...

    anything will do
    now days...


    Everything besides the first stanza was keystyle. Honest feedback please.
    test
  2. Bhitiah

    Bhitiah Powerful Scriptures

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    1,173
    "the greatest deception is fearing
    what you don't know...
    open your eyes and shut your mouth
    you might learn more...
    I dont know where you've been
    but you couldn't walk my roads...
    not with your soft heart and
    your holy ghost...
    the opposition will
    eat...you...whole...
    everything you see in the sky
    isn't truth and golds...."


    Oh My ......Damn......This was awesome Mind~Soul...For real...I felt this for real, You know I did...I feel you
    test
  3. eM-T

    eM-T Because We Are

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    haha the mirror argument. Is this a rebuttle to UFO's "Undercover Christian pt. 2"?

    anyway, I am going to deconstruct this for you tomorrow night. (got to study, just couldn't resist the read when I noticed the title ehehe)

    -mtea
    test
  4. UFO the Phoenix

    UFO the Phoenix I DONT BELIEVE IN ALIENS!

    Joined:
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    the mirror argument.......

    oh snap!!!.....great come back and nice poem.....you touched on some deep issues from your perspective....really touching

    It's a shame when two "n.iggas"
    cant get along...
    on a religious tip...
    came together as one
    chained and whipped...
    now we'll kill each other
    over chains and whips...

    ^that part was real right there.....But I hope we could still get along?....kill over chains and whips?!??!....man just sad but true

    respect due

    I got one more for you then I'm gonna drop this issue....(cause we could go on forever....which is what my meaning was for "eht rorrim tnemugrA")

    PEACE AND GODBLESS
    test
  5. Sole Sovereign

    Sole Sovereign Hungry But Never Starving

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    The whips and chains line was sick. Really felt the simple flow with this piece as with most of your pieces. Don't really care for the aspects of a "battle poem" though. You both are emcees are you not? I'd say just settle it out on the battle boards. I don't see either of you letting the other have the last word.

    As for the rest of this piece, I dunno. I am street too, sometimes the only thing that held me together out there putting myself through school and paying rent, was my faith. I gotta alot of men in the pen right now and the only thing holding them down is their faith. So I don't really see how faith can weaken somebody. I also really don't feel the educated reasoning cop out when arguing faith. Science says it can't be true because of carbon dating. But science can't say that Christ didn't walk this earth. Can't argue the fact that muhammed's feet never touched sand. Anyways it was an entertaining read none the less.
    test
  6. Philly_215

    Philly_215 The Silent Poet

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    Messages:
    436
    the subliminal lines in here are crazy !! I love this back and forth thing. it brings out the best in writers especially if they both have a high regard for the other and that unwillingness to lose lol It gets mad lyrical love it

    I thought this poem start out a little slow but as I read into it I caught on " the back row hooligans" wild shit, so so real. religion and the defense or point of views of it are such a touchy thing but you and UFo do it so well. any way I was feeling this joint honestly it was like rapping with a friend about the stuff we see in real life didn't have to strain hard to stay up with you.

    nice stay up all
    test
  7. da sein

    da sein feel influence

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    May 6, 2005
    Messages:
    48
    it's just the drugs and another
    Sunday morning...
    ^^Amazing...and i think the 'why' it is is something that i cant really explain cause its my life
    and evidentaly yours as well....ausomne line

    it's time for proving...
    to the back row hooligans...
    appropriately dressed in
    white tees, jeans, and scuffed
    chucks and forces..
    ^^though it becomes clearer as the piece progresses, i think this could be clarifyed more...ie: what is the preacher proving to the backrow...

    the devil's greatest creation
    isnt the sci-fi channels...
    or some silly UFO's
    the greatest deception is fearing
    what you don't know...
    ^^^word

    anything to please god
    and fill them pockets...
    ^^this seems to be the only thing that matters to "america"....
    keeping up the facade of religeous and spiritual devotion while being greedy as fuck

    overall widely successful piece...i really enjoyed reading it...
    you could publish this
    test
  8. eM-T

    eM-T Because We Are

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2005
    Messages:
    148
    ahhh what a beautiful poem. Makes me want to drop another one of my religious poems. I have too many too count, which is why I don't drop them usually when I write them. Don't want it to get old to some people. I grew up in a cult, and I saw the way one could destroy their life with the belief of God. Not literally... but its like, why try when you got something better coming. Its just around the corner....

    Anyway, religion scares me. Religious people scare me. The way I once looked at people, other forms of life, and the world scares me. The way I knew deep down that all the loose ends in the bible was a tangled fucking mess that I was not allowed to acknowlege. I needed faith to get to heaven, not the question, whats the best way to get there. Not any questions. Anyway.. I better stop rambling and get to the poem.

    ^ I suppose this is a drawn out way to say... I feel you.

    The whole poem is fuckin dope. Rhythm and flow were awsome. The only part that didn't flow well (for me) was "the bible are in their hands
    the sweat are on their brows"
    . and that is only because it "are" should be "is" (in both lines) So reading that made me stumble up a bit, but only because I read Are but immediately broke my focus to think Is.

    I love the intro to the poem. First 4 lines suck you right in.

    "I dont know where you've been
    but you couldn't walk my roads...
    not with your soft heart and
    your holy ghost...
    the opposition will
    eat...you...whole...
    everything you see in the sky
    isn't truth and golds...."

    ^this hit home, although, not really in the same way as you described it. Grew up in a small ass town, all the women had to were dresses every day. (snows where I live so you can imagive how rediculous that looks) In other words... Everyone knows what you are. Word Of Life Fellowship meant I was labeled a WOLF. Beyond that, I got fucked with a lot. Not name calling and shit like that. Plus I was a fat kid, so I suppose that didnt help either. Point is, I had to act anything but christian just to get by.

    "we'll sell our religion
    through some five
    page pamphlet
    at gas stations...

    we'll sell our religion
    on a bow tie and
    fruit basket....

    anything to please god
    and fill them pockets...
    anything to please god
    and avoid hell's pits...

    anything will do
    now days..."

    I think you pointed out a very good thing here and that is (at least I think you were hinting at this), the relationship between religion and capitalism. I have thought about this before. The idea of faith. Not asking questions. When a consumer has faith in the process (that is, faith in how raw materials come to be products for sale), there is a greater chance for thoughtless consumption. When you dont ask questions like, what is this doing to the environment, what is this doing to rain forest, animals, other countries, our own country... then you would never have a reason to not buy any paticular product. And who pushes religion??? GOVT. Whos pulling the strings of GOVT. Big Business HORRAY. If I was big business I wouldn't want you to know how I ran my business either. Just buy the product and shut up. And if you leave it in direct sunlight, well its not my fault if you come into contact with it after that.

    Last two lines are dope. Anything will do. Pretending to be a good person will even do. If you got yourself fooled there is no one else to fool.


    FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT (inspiration is inspiration right?)

    -eMpTy
    test
  9. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    Messages:
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    And it continues on lol....

    This was really nice.

    came together as one
    chained and whipped...
    now we'll kill each other
    over chains and whips...

    ^^Those lines alone were whoa

    As was most of the entire piece. Thanks for sharing. You guys can continue to debate as long as some dope pieces come out of it ;)
    test
  10. Real Nice emotion in this. As always you provide nice insight into the reality and the spirituality. I liked how you brought the religious into the everday and the way you portrayed the priests. Real Interesting. You seemed to water down religion and make it lose something in everyday life, It was like the rise of secularization in some places.

    Keep it up.
    test
  11. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    so many of us search for jesus to relive us from what they say are sins
    but the truth is knowone knows and i refuse to let him in...

    jesus is a savior or atleast thats what taints my skin...the crucifix and
    blood drips off my shoulders to my pin

    i used to feel him...

    when i was a young boy tears feel as i'd honeslty repent..
    but not sense then has this world made sense so i cant
    become a slave to ungodly men...

    the preachers in the pullpit spreading lies to the congragation
    proclaiming to hold the whole truth when his hands are paper thin...

    this country was built on fear
    i mean how could one forget
    they stole raped and pillged then
    whispered christianity in our ears...

    but why us if it were the truth...
    how could you hate someone then
    usher them into heaven..

    ....made me wanna write when i read your shit...

    you really got a way of drawing the reader into your poems....

    seems so real to me...i still am trying to get accross that honesty in my pieces..

    thanks man..nothings made me want to write in a while
    test
  12. Clarksvegas_Dan

    Clarksvegas_Dan Registered Voter

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    Apr 13, 2004
    Messages:
    767
    This was awesome, truly inspired. Crazy imagery. I gotta re read this one a couple of times. Awesome poem. Thank You.
    test
  13. kstroyer

    kstroyer New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2002
    Messages:
    234
    main if this is jay vs nas.. this has to be equal to ether.. niceness cuzin..
    It's a shame when two "n.iggas"
    cant get along...
    on a religious tip...
    came together as one
    chained and whipped...
    now we'll kill each other
    over chains and whips...

    ^^^Just sick
    keep it up.
    test
  14. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,023
    shoot, Mind~$oul always inspires me to go write something down, when I don't want to lol. Just lines to come back to and its crazy how the thought is never dying down. But anyhoo, the sweat line in the first part and the last line makes me think about the church me and my b/f go to. I don't know, it makes me think about the bayou too and the spanish lake behind my school.
    Southern magnetics!

    Second part is my favorite just about. It's more wisdom than just talking and rambling about what one may not know or not want to hear.

    anything will do
    now days...

    ^yeah, you right. It's been tiring seein this played out so much that now I'm numb to it everytime I see it. It's like you're the odd number in the crowd because everyone's jumped on the band wagon. I'm not sure where that band wagon is going, uphill to go downhill or what, but we came into this world alone, we leave alone. Eh it's not good to give feedback when you're pissed off.
    test
  15. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Thanks for the love peoples. This is my last up

    One luv
    test
  16. Sun_Flower

    Sun_Flower Bluez By Loves Eye

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2002
    Messages:
    647
    Honestly you told it on how you see it on that sunday morning, as others may have said you have a way of drawing a reader into your piece.(I agree also) When concerning a strong belief between you and the unknown, its a rough path to take on, believing what is right in your eyes and whats within another's could draw some questions and more going and comings to these issues. Overall I can say this piece plays reality in all course. (society, comitments, self acknowledgement, basic values, etc)

    So many things comes to mind, I enjoy the read. thanx...
    test
  17. misspimp

    misspimp a.k.a KATURAH

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    Jun 24, 2003
    Messages:
    1,308
    Really...the entire piece was fire!!!!

    the greatest deception is fearing
    what you don't know...
    open your eyes and shut your mouth
    you might learn more...

    Those Lines stuck out to me the most tho...i could say whas already been said....but y?
    I miss u...been tryna holla @ u....lovin this piece....

    mad love
    test
  18. EnigmadaNig

    EnigmadaNig New Member

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    41
    I kno dis is a dope poem but religion is scary and i would rather avoid dis poems reality or sense of reality like i do church but out of respect for a dope poet and a model i will say dis was almost over my head til i read some of tha replies...
    I related to tha 'deception is fearing tha unknown' REAL AS LIFE!
    TrufFully Spittin' Out!
    test
  19. InTheStars

    InTheStars Reflective

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    Feb 13, 2004
    Messages:
    510
    Mind~$oul..what is up? This is really hot..I have been out of the net a bit for about 6 weeks..and it is a pleasure to come back and see such a wonderful display of words splashed along the pages of the Realm. I tend to stay away from most religous topics..but this spoke so much truth about so many people on so many different levels...It is great..I love the font as well
    much luv
    Starz
    test
  20. Lord RAH

    Lord RAH Grandeur's illuminant

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2002
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    740
    I hate when I get in on this too late I loved this poem and now I have to read the one that started this off...I'm digging the first stanza a lot



    The corners are empty
    and quite moody...
    the vice lords and
    disciples are truce'n...


    Break this line down a few different way lord of vice are trucing with the Disciples of Christ


    the corners are empty and quite moody ....Just illl

    I'd like to see more of this because obviously differing opinions makes intelligent thought better,,,,Oh and the UFO punch was great Huge UPP
    test
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