the man who taught me that. there's more to rapping than money

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by Hananward, Jan 1, 2014.

  1. Hananward

    Hananward Hananthemakavelirevolutionary

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    Fuck the haters imma let em go.

    But when I'm on top imma let you know

    There's no reason to be hatin imma be a niggah you have faith in

    I listened to his music like it was religion

    Brought my heart up from the dark place it was hidden

    Wonderin what mah gonna do next

    A load of hurt and pain runnin through mah chest

    When I listened I just knew tupac was the only one who rapped bout shit true

    A niggah who said how it is e'rrbody dies but not everybody lives.

    He taught me there's more to rapping that there's people on the streets starving hungry

    But niggahs in the game all they want is the jewels the houses money

    I don't understand why niggahs have 3 houses when a brutha have none

    One day the bruthas will rise from the ground ain't nobody to tell them that hope cant be found.

    So let a brutha tell you how he feel don't rap bout shit rap bout what is real.
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2014
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  2. Shadow

    Shadow Kotaro's Master

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    Glad to see you take tac's advice.

    You should either expand on vocabulary or increase imagery. This was a very basic read
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  3. Hananward

    Hananward Hananthemakavelirevolutionary

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    Now lads its my first good one so cut me some slack I ain't pros or experienced like most of ye, so my rhymes may not be up to ye'r standards
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  4. Hananward

    Hananward Hananthemakavelirevolutionary

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    Now lads its my first good one so cut me some slack I ain't pros or experienced like most of ye, so my rhymes may not be up to ye'r standards
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  5. Chase Murda

    Chase Murda hostile enviroment

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    Not bad I would love like to see more of this tho
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  6. Hananward

    Hananward Hananthemakavelirevolutionary

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    Oh my god really thank you so much

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  7. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

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    Basic. Expand your vocab. Learn the basics of rhyme schemes also.

    Sent from my SM-N900W8 using Tapatalk
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  8. .AIMJ

    .AIMJ Aimj

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    Mar 1, 2014
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    It was a good read but it was basic. some of the lines were too long. Add some rhymes in between to break up
    the long sentences between your rhymes. It seemed liked you struggled to find words to rhyme and couldn't deliver your message the way you wanted to and it throws us off as readers cuz we need constant good wordplay throughout.
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  9. .AIMJ

    .AIMJ Aimj

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2014
    Messages:
    3
    It was a good read but it was basic. some of the lines were too long. Add some rhymes in between to break up
    the long sentences between your rhymes. It seemed liked you struggled to find words to rhyme and couldn't deliver your message the way you wanted to and it throws us off as readers cuz we need constant good wordplay throughout.
    test

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