Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by J o o k, Oct 21, 2007.
Yeah, I gotcha fam. I'm gonna check it out when I finish voting and get a few minutes spare time.
I understood that Paul molested little girls, and that Lisa only met him because she wanted revenge for molesting and killing her daughter, I just didn't understand why she wouldn't just kill him instead of letting him impregnate her and then kill him. Granted, it's your story and you can take the plot wherever you want to, I just feel like if someone did that to my daughter I'd be knocking his door down with a baseball bat I wouldn't let him plant a seed in me and then kill him. Think of what that would do psychologically to poor Suzie haha.
Basically, Eddie was the only part that gave me problems because it wasn't clear to me exactly what role he played and whether he was actually an angel or not because you talked about his wings and hiding in a tree, I guess waiting for the right time to enact his revenge, but then mentioned his wings may be fake and he was just reincarnated and I don't know, I feel like it would have been a whole lot better if you had just left Eddie out altogether.
u do know discussing ur verse is gonna take away from it when i do actually read it..
check out my open mic
it may be better than the verse i posted
Oooh, I definitely enjoyed that one a whole lot more, Q. I wouldn't pick at something such as an 8 to 5 syllable rhyme change like Baron did, because I do that alot too and even so, 5 syllables are still awfully hard to rhyme consistently and I feel like you did it alot better in that piece than the one you posted for the championship. Also, it was alot easier to follow without as many characters, there's only so much clarity you can give character descriptions in 64 lines while still allowing adequate plot space. Either way, I liked that piece a whole lot more, not as complex story wise, just as nice flow wise, and easy to follow. Props.
lol, guess i should have posted that one then
yea, now that i read it, i was trippin
i like the open mic better
ok my votes r in. less 2 worry about this weekend
^check my open mic and tell me what you think
i think i played myself, i tried to appeal to what i thought the voters would like, unfortunately i guess i was trippin
should've posted the other joint, it probably would have had a better chance of winning
but enough rebuttals, i just feel like i made a stupid decision, GL knows what the fuck im talkin about
^ I also read your drop before I started writing lol.
and you knew the other verse was better
and so did infinite truth
but who cares
im ready to go home
i hate this job, and this lady always turns the air off, and then i'll turn it on and she'll turn it off again and i always start to feel sick
I was just being Baronic with that 8-syllable thing, LOL!
I just made up a word too, Baronic, but I like it. Im going to use that word a lot more from now on. :^)
baronic my nuts...
From now on Imma just call you Rick Waller.
who the eff is rick waller?
More like Rikoshaynic!
He did some horse shit with the entire line as a multi....like 12-14 syllables each lol
Either way, majorly overrated if the content is half-ass...
It was Q who did the eight syllable thing, I got over that forever ago. Lol. By me being Baronic I meant picky over the fourth line not keeping the same 8-syllable rhyme as the first three.
Hello RSTL How Are Things Running Over Here?
Good Coke =)
Have a good day
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