The Last Assassin

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by the omega man, Apr 1, 2011.

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  1. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

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    As he wakes in an inchoate state, he takes no caution
    the Siafu will tear break skin and won't let off him
    He don't need change, he'll kick shit like Matt Austin
    "Take your Portuguese collection back to Shaffhausen
    and fly your Jolly Roger high but don't get nauseous"
    words of wisdom from his broken heart leaking fosset
    his competitors' approach will never accomplish
    their tug-a-war against the Billy "One-Hand" Condon
    So how did they start when Pay Day came without choclate?

    *can't think of another bar to put here*

    He rose quicker than the Brazillian real. we all
    stand in awe at multiple face lift attempts by Emporer Pilaf
    egos breaking the see-saw, believin that we see what he saw
    Italians eatin sauerkraut not suckin Mussolini's meatballs
    a Hebrew waltzed with Muhammed on the steps with the lonely bill
    their only will to kill for that will, they lonely still
    he stands in the midst of this agnostic attempt to preach
    while the pyramid splits at its feet the people in the street
    and undergraduate degrees certify kings to lead
    Zechariah said he'd appear with a white horse not a white sheet
    Hammer had light feet, but he should've read Psalms 119:
    105, open ya eyes don't hate the man, he's forever lastin
    the hitokiri Omega, the one and only last assassin
    • Hot Thread Hot Thread x 2
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  2. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

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    lol Yoooooo all I gotta say is we needmore of this, dope intellectual poetry here that i was really feeling, especially how you tied it all the way in the end and even brought the psalms out, hallelujah lol Nice
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  3. dsp2k5

    dsp2k5 Dime Sack Pimp

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    dope, dope, dope ... keep shit like this commin ... nice flow, nicely done period homie ... gonna def. re read it
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  4. Ace the Prophet

    Ace the Prophet A Prophet to the Game

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    definitely more on the poetic text side, lol. overall it's good. I'm diggin it. Good story to it. Just go with whatever sounds like it might fit with that open bar, lol. It's good shit man. Nothin much else to say since this definitely looks like a text intended piece. 1
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  5. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    digging this. very thought out and poetic. cool story in it. liking the involvement of historical and religious figures in the end. good drop bro.
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  6. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    I'm not sure if I agree with all the above praise. Heres what I though, remember honesty is respect.


    -written well
    -League standard rhyme mechanics
    -some stark twist of the tongue in some passages:

    He don't need change, he'll kick shit like Matt Austin
    "Take your Portuguese collection back to Shaffhausen
    and fly your Jolly Roger high but don't get nauseous"
    words of wisdom from his broken heart leaking fosset
    his competitors' approach will never accomplish


    ^Great flow and even more than that, tbh, is the transition form line to line. I think a lot of writers here neglect this skill. Well done.

    and again here below:

    egos breaking the see-saw, believing that we see what he saw
    Italians eatin sauerkraut not suckin Mussolini's meatballs
    a Hebrew waltzed with Muhammed on the steps with the lonely bill
    their only will to kill for that will, they lonely still
    he stands in the midst of this agnostic attempt to preach
    while the pyramid splits at its feet the people in the street
    and undergraduate degrees certify kings to lead


    ^good line transition and pace.


    -overall, as a whole this piece was a bit disjointed with a lot of themes going on and some reference that I felt too obscure. It had some great moments but did not live up to it's potential.

    Peace brother.
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  7. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

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    thanks for your opinion coup, but just so u know its not really a story telling verse, more of an every day shit talking verse
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  8. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    oh, shit talking, even in writing needs to behold the same structures and laws. lol

    good stuff though man, I wish you would join back in the RSTL.
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  9. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

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    There are no laws in my anarchist mind...only turmoil and suffocation

    The RSTL will have to wait until mid-May, once I have a that Bachelor's Degree I will have proof that I'm the illest alive
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  10. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    oh you sound like you mean Antichrist over anarchist. lol to me anarchy is simply no government body and nothing to do with hate. Its a type of government, where laws are accepted by the ebb and flow of small locality and set according to the needs of a particular community existing in and making up a larger one as a whole.
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  11. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

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    ^^^ that entire paragraph made no sense what so ever
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  12. Coup d'état

    Coup d'état Don't believe the hype

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    lol i was smoking dank writing that , i have nothing.
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  13. Introspective

    Introspective New Member

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    shits deep soundin, real dope i can definitley feel it. very enjoyable, lyrics are on point with some nice life refernces, good shit, big ups man keep doin your thing.
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  14. nO gOoD!

    nO gOoD! Life Music :: Press Play

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    This was good, nice flow and Vocab.
    Check out my track said and done.
    It has audio included as well ;)

    Pce bruh
    test
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