The Great Depression

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Poetic Pain, May 30, 2003.

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  1. Poetic Pain

    Poetic Pain I Am Hip Hop

    Joined:
    May 29, 2003
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    I'm a young sad darkskinned male
    Whose life has become a living hell
    I am depressed with no happiness in the fore seeable future
    My days are cloudy and rainy
    With a windchill thats cold and harsh
    I have internal battles inside me, I cannot win
    All day, Every day I'm wondering when will my life will end
    I hate that I'm living today, and I don't wanna see tomorrow
    My life has brought me so much sorrow
    Every morning I wake up with suicide by my side
    Every night I close my eyes plotting ways to die
    In some peoples mind I seemed to be admired
    I'm 19, still young, but my soul is tired
    Tired of fighting all the negative output I'm receiving
    My soul can't take it no more, so its made plans to be leaving
    My life is wasting away, as I sit in the house all day, everyday
    I have no urge to meet people, or go outside and play
    I've tried to tell my loved ones how sad I am
    But they don't wanna listen
    We'll see if they care when I come up missing
    The depression has taken over my life
    Now I don't trust myself alone with a knife
    In my mind I think I ain't shit
    So I'll just take this gun and get it over with
    The Great Depression
    test
  2. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    wow man......if youre seriously suicidal then you need to get some help IMMEDIATELY......people around you DO care, you just think that they dont (its part of the depression)......youre 19 years old, you have a lot of life to live......you have to find things that make you happy......peace and blessings
    test
  3. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    12,678
    first off...welcome to the realm.......

    well........

    i'm not gonna bash u like feme sole did....lmao.....

    this was an ok piece..... actually reminds me of some of my older

    work......i deffenitally see room for improvement in your writting.....

    did like a couple lines

    I'm 19, still young, but my soul is tired

    can def relate to that......every body feel like they just dont have

    anything left sometimes...u should check out my piece up now

    called thoughts....prolly be able to relate to it.......

    keep doing your thang....oh

    and i know u want replies so do yourself a favor and peep some

    other cats....UP
    test
  4. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

    Joined:
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    how did i bash him?
    test
  5. masterragu

    masterragu Sweep The Leg, Johnny!

    Joined:
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    74,913
    Okay if anything Feme Sole was being very helpful, supportive, and caring...

    You on the other hand are making uncalled for statements that don't make sense at all...

    How is someone telling him to get help a bad thing?

    I'd much rather tell someone to get help then let them fall further into depression. She also brought her persective and knowledge into the subject.

    Now to the poem

    I really got a sense of your depression

    Now is this just a poem or are you seriously feeling that depressed? There's help out there medicine you can take, people you can see, others who can help you and support you... Honestly depression is something that will drain the life out of you but as soon as you maintain a positive attitude and get through the hard times you'll understand how much your life is worth. You are so unique everyone is and I wish you luck in your fight with depression and hope you get help or find the light so to speak... I hope i've been a little help and if this poem was just a temporary feeling just ignore my prior statements I just want to make sure you get help if help is needed

    good poem though and welcome to the poetry realm...
    test
  6. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
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    what the fuck....ease up....

    notice the lmao....what are u her bodyguard or something......

    i was just playing......

    pump those breaks budy pump those breaks......


    and feme sole i'm sorry if i offended u...k
    test
  7. V E R B

    V E R B Guest

    pretty nice, you do better then me
    test
  8. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    This really reminds me of when I was 17 and I first started writing, I was all fucked up from depression. I hope this is just an outlet for pain, and not a suicide notice of some sort...Believe me when I tell you shit gets better. This is almost identical to some of the stuff I first started writing 5 years ago and over time as we evolve, we grow a little...Slowly but surely. There'll come a time when you'll look back and be like "damn I was all fucked up back then, but I'm a better person now".
    test
  9. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    869
    You've been writing some very depressing pieces as of late, well from what I've responded to so far. I love how you show emotion, because you just focus on what you're thinking and what's exactly hurting you mentally, physically, or even both. I'm feeling your work so far, family. My blessings..
    test
  10. BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum

    BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum aka Billy Shoreview

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 1999
    Messages:
    33,123
    I don't know if this is fiction or not, but I have a story for anyone who will listen.

    I was clinically diagnosed with depression at fourteen, tried a suicide attempt or two in my day. I started writing at about that time seriously. Used to freestyle suicidal shakespearean sonnets. (Boarding school braniacs think of crazy shit like that to do.) Used to tag 'em on stalls and bathroom walls and shit up at the Hill School.

    My poems were suicide letters. Stuff like "i wonder what they'll think when I'm gone?" They weren't cries for help because like the internet now (it wasn't as developed then. That was going on 13 years ago), it was anonymous. Kept writin'. Kept suicide tryin. I got remarkably better at the former, thankfully horrible at the latter. Poetry became an outlet and then a vocation for me.

    But finding new and different ways to play with and threaten my own life became an addiction. What perscriptions can I get in while alcohol sippin? As early as 3 years ago I was still doing stuff like taking sleeping pills with 151 proof rum and seeing how close I could come to death without dying. If I lost, then death was the added benefit. These thoughts still run through my head (I'm still clinically depressed with Bipolar tendencies) so I still write stuff like this to this day. (got a couple pieces like this up in the front page of this realm right now in fact). But I decided to do two things:

    Channel my angst and depression into pens.

    and

    Seek help.

    If I didn't get put on the right medications because of exhaustive diagnoses, I'd be dead right now writing in fire like sand in endless deserts. Instead, I'm able to still sing God's praises with pens and phrases.

    At first, my poetry was a tool for me to find safety in a storm of hellfires and depression, but now I use it as a tool in a different way; a vessel through which to communicate through the hate;

    usually through the hate we tend to have for ourselves.

    What I'm saying is this: there are ways out of this. Depression is a temporary problem, to which suicide is permanent reaction. They don't match.

    Write.

    Kill the pages with words; the abrasive and absurd until you name is heard. Don't trust yourself with a knife, trust your life with prose.

    Seek help.

    Also, all that is said to anyone who feels the angst represented in this poem. I know that maybe the soul who wrote it is feeling the pain, but definitely others who are reading it are.

    To those of you, I tell you my prayers go with you.

    And to the author,

    You captured my childhood very well in this piece.
    test
  11. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    Dawg, after we just said all that shit, if you fuck around and go kill yourself, I'm havta ressurect you and beat your ass lol.
    test
  12. Poetic Pain

    Poetic Pain I Am Hip Hop

    Joined:
    May 29, 2003
    Messages:
    76
    Thanx for the replies, and yeah I am truly feeling this way, I can't find a way to solve this problem, I'm really struggling right now, I'm trying to get rid of this darkness from mind and my heart, but its so hard, but thanx for the advice
    test
  13. BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum

    BlackSoultan Ad Infinitum aka Billy Shoreview

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    SEEK HELP.

    A guidance counselor, a minister, a psycologist, etc.
    test
  14. Kpucha

    Kpucha Guest

    Thank you first of all for sharing this with us-you express yourself beautifully in this piece......I too love the line "I'm 19, still young, but my soul is tired"

    Please listen to the replies that you have so far.....I may not be able to relate to everything about your specific situation, but I can tell you that I have felt this way at times......and I have known (virtually) Black Soultan for a couple years now, and he speaks wisely above. Just please believe that there is hope......even if you cannot see it at this time....it is there...it is so hard to try to write a reply that would seem more than words on a page but you are not alone on this journey. You obviously have talent to be able to move people's hearts with words as you did here-and you have no idea how many people have read this and maybe not felt quite so alone and have felt helped by that realization alone. Keep writing your heart and reaching out....

    There is no one on earth exactly like you and each of us brings our flavor and unique abilities (even if we don't know what those are yet) to the people around us. You can make a difference in someone's life without even knowing you did....just by maybe something you said or wrote or did.....there are people who have made a difference in my life like that....just by listening to me or the slightest act that they may not give a second thought to, but I remember it and it means a lot to me.

    And here is an awesome thought I will leave you with......remember in those times when you feel worthless.....

    "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!" Psalm 139:17, 18 (NLT)

    Think on that.....the God of creation thinks about you to that degree! Really let it sink into your spirit. You are worth so much more than you can see right now....
    test
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