The Empath (Book update!)

Discussion in 'IntroSpectrum' started by Ghet for Prez, Apr 20, 2008.

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  1. McGirth

    McGirth New Member

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    ghet, think about fixing the sentence & paragraphs if you don't want to turn off 1/4 of your readers by page 1. Seriously, I was totally thrown off, it looks like your character is a nihilist (beleives in nothing, i.e. amoral) who seems to be targetting race, among a pool of many many factors, for no reason.

    And keep in mind, this is coming from someone who has read your posts FOR YEARS and thinks YOU (i,e. Ghetallion) isn't racist or arbitrarily pissed by any means, yet sees this character as portrayed here as either arbitrarily angry or racist.

    Maybe run it by a stranger and see what their impressions are.

    keep in mind this is a book your writing, not a dialog. You only get one chance to make an imporession on the reader, he can't ask any questions and you can't answer any questions. So form is very important, especially for the first few pages where most readers basically decide if they will read on or not.

    I like the style of writing though.
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  2. Oh I understand the ramifications here.

    There is an art to placating the masses. Sadly, the content in this book is not for the masses. It is for those who understand.

    Animals (people) who impulsive reaction is to run all perception information though a "Is this racist?" condition is an animal (person) who will -NEVER- understand the complexities within, no matter how delicately I put it. These are the last people I want reading my book. In fact, I would be overjoyed to watch such emotional heathens burning my book. It would simply validate the message within.
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  3. Radium

    Radium f k

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    do you realize how that message would attract racists though?
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  4. ... and?

    If racists are the only people that can intellectually grasp the message within while whiny minorities refuse to see beyond the face, what does that tell you? It would be business as usual. It would be just like any other day.

    We live in a world where image is not only catered to, it is expected to supplant content altogether.

    Fuck your Matrix.
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  5. McGirth

    McGirth New Member

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    or it could be matter of time, only so many hours in a day rather than them being reactionaies (though, as you point out, some will be). If someone reads page one, decides, "do i want to keep reading?" here they may say no becuase of the form rather than the content. By contrast, people that are reactionarily racists may keep reading, thinking the protagonist is like them, then get dissapointed and stop reading when the character ends up not being racist afterall.

    I'm sure anyone that's read your posts would read on, but someone that hasen't may not unless if their racist and that could be a problem if you really want to attract the sort of reader you do.

    honestly though, you need to run it by a fresh mind to see the reaction.

    last post on this since no point debating, its advice, either you take advice or you don't & that's your choice either way.
    good luck.
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  6. I'll post the last paragraph of the first page of the book. I'm fully aware of how to make an amoral sociopath palatable to people. ;D

    The book starts when Micheal Collins was 5. He isn't referred to by name in the entire chapter. It is just a child with a terrible thing about to happen to him that will cause psychological ramifications for the remainder of his life. When I get home, I'll post a sample and you will see what I am talking about.
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  7. Don Juan

    Don Juan No Mam, It's doɴˈχwan

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    ghet I fear you will never reach your full potential because you are too stubborn to the extent it effects your objetivity and being humble enough to accept criticism. Someone as smart as you should realise that it would help you reach your goals much quicker to listen to others. It seems you always have to be right, infact, I have never seen you concede a single point in an argument on this website and thus your ego is wounding you. This book idea is not as good or profound as you think it is and the ideas are much more sketchy and holey than you realise.

    You have a lot of potential...lots..but your attitude is the biggest thing standing between you and success. You have an excuse, or counter arrgument for everyone who poses a critique or even a a suggestion and you cannot succeed this way. So, you have to make the choice right now, admit you need help in many areas of your life academic and personal,or carry on with this borderline eccentric attitude.

    You are in your 20s, but you argue as if you know everything right now about everything, and you do not. But, what you fail to realise is that if you were actually willing to expose yourself to everything added to the knowledge you have already got, you could create something truly original through synthesizing knowledge--something you haven't even considered at this point. It seems very ahrd for you to accept that in all those areas of knowledge you vehemently deny, you could find another insight you had never even thought about. Why put your ego before your wonder? Don't let your failure be that you thought you had considered everything and reached every answer before you reachedyour 30s. It is very unbecoming of a young man to utter maxims and that is just what you do when you refuse to listen to anyone but yourself. Having said that, I wish you every success.
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  8. Radium

    Radium f k

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    who is this nigga?
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  9. Ghet v2.14

    Ghet v2.14 New Member

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    And you should realize being an alias only nullifies the intention of any observation the person behind the alias makes.

    Entire passage disregarded. Be the person I know you to be and stop letting fear command you.
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  10. Radium

    Radium f k

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    Ghet what you get banned for this time?
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  11. barnizzle

    barnizzle HIP HOP

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    LOL @ ghet getting banned


    see man....tone the racist shit down.
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  12. Don Juan

    Don Juan No Mam, It's doɴˈχwan

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    you prove my point.

    Furthermore, everyone is an alias--what fear of retribution could possibly arise from a message board where everyone is ••••ymous anyway?
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  13. Radium

    Radium f k

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    keep it funky Brahman is that you?

    yeah I see you in the pink sig mexican east LA type avatar combo

    silky
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  14. McGirth

    McGirth New Member

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    lol you could have just said this wasn't the start but more of "15 years later" type deal.
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  15. UrbTac's Bane

    UrbTac's Bane New Member

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    Collins only response to that is cynicism.

    If the grid only reactive, then people wrapped up in politics should stop advertising it as a catch-all.
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  16. I think the most outlandish claim is being able to tell someone has been raped through eye contact and body language unless this collins guy is gonna start flexin some super powers in chapter 2
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  17. Amoral Empath

    Amoral Empath New Member

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    Those of you who have not taken my sense of humor seriously and found my strange approach to philosophy appealing, I cordially invite you to my new MySpace profile so that I may discuss my ideas with you.

    I look forward to Teq, Brit, McGirth, X-Cali, Radium, Dex, (and maybe Azeus if you are lurking) the rest of C-Unit, GZ, and the many others who have successfully figured out how to play as my Devil's Advocate in a constructive way.

    This is not a IP harvest. I am asking the few minds on this shitfuck of a site that I respect to assist me in a tremendous project that you have had a hand in contributing to.

    This site has recently achieved a poor cost-benefit ratio thanks to the recent promotion of BlackSoultan to Super Mod Status, (kid in a candy store syndrome) so I ask that those who are actually interested in the intellectual discussions on social justice that Hip-Hop abandoned so long ago to help me further in this project.

    http://www.myspace.com/amoralempath
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  18. x - calli

    x - calli Guest

    word..

    like i said in the other thread, i dont even mess with myspace.. i only have a dummy account, but i can get at you through that
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  19. McGirth

    McGirth New Member

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    I will keep tabs on the blogspot version
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