But why would you reject that as an assumption, instead of accepting it as a fact of life? Is it not possible for two random people to form a love connection after meeting each other? I think once again there is a misunderstanding here... maybe I'm not making myself clear... it could be my choice of words... 'preparing for every possibility that you're aware of' means doing what you know to do in order to prevent relationship disasters... so if word ever gets out that your man prefers to have his anus tickled with a peacock feather, then it won't be from you. How is that being unwise, excessive, or too consuming? One-night stands are the exception... I believed we were talking about situations that involved more than one encounter... but what if the sex was good and you develop a "fuck-friend" relationship? That could blossom? More misunderstanding... it's like I'm saying 20 and you're saying 40. No need for cake, dresses, rings, none of that... treat every encounter as if it could blossom, not as if you're already married... I hope that wasn't too hard to understand... that means be straight-up, truthful, and forthcoming... and don't put your business out there in the streets... how does that equate to daydreaming about wedding cake??? 1) How? 2) What are those 'other things,' both good and bad? What does that mean? Filtering your input into the communication? Putting arbitrary restrictions on your heart's fancy? Help me out here. Having an open and honest approach to your relationships and not divulging private information shouldn't equate to hardwiring expectations or making a rush decision that he's "the one." Once again, I must repeat the most important clause of my argument... "as if it could" And what if you let "Mr. Right" pass you by? I don't understand... how do you judge whether you should "invest too much of yourself?" What is that moment and when does it usually come? I think it's being practical and honest... and there is nothing wrong with looking to the future. "Those who fail to plan, plan to fail." I think you're getting caught up in making rash decisions about the future. That's not what I'm arguing. 1) Not having your friend sex your man because you discussed his penis size and whirlwind tongue technique to her... she may decide of other reasons to screw him, but he won't be because you gave details. 2) STDs... contraceptives, abstinence, testing can all help to avoid that risk I beg to differ... gossip is with malicious intent or to achieve some feeling of superiority over the said individual. Because it's the gist of my argument... thinking before you act.... preparing for every possibility... treating every encounter AS IF IT COULD blossom.