Telling your man's buisness ..

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Jade Phoenix, Sep 5, 2006.

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  1. ~S*T*A*R*M~

    ~S*T*A*R*M~ Goddess

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    Granted, but it would directly invole me and would thus be "my business," which I could share if I chose to. I also think it will vary from person to person (and therefore, relationship to relationship). Moreover, when relationships get more serious, I think the rules change a bit. Details become more confidential and I believe both parties want to keep most things within the confines of their relationship. I've noticed that when things are still new, or it's a fling, women (speaking from experience) want to gush about it. These are actually the situations that I was referring to in my post, not the full-blown, fully-devoted type of relationship. If this was the case, then I agree that these things are best left between lovers and their sheets.
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  2. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    If that's the case, shouldn't you treat every encounter or fling as if it could develop into something more serious? Because what happens when it does, but now all of your friends and his friends know the two of you as if they slept with you? It could create issues down the line if there is a shady friend on either side who wants to explore his/her curiosity, given the information they've known for quite some time.

    I guess you could say, "well, a fling is a fling and I won't ever go deeper with that person." Well, how do you know that? Sometimes, the greatest loves start out as something that the two initially write off at first. Any person that you date could end up as your soulmate or potential marriage partner... unless you have an on-and-off switch on your heart. Agree?
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  3. Koncious, Im startin to feel like im passin u the baton up in these threads lol
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  4. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    ^^ LOL... I know... Konscious is starting to get all... conscious... and stuff.

    Its pissing me off!

    Now who am I going to argue with?!?!?!
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  5. Jade Phoenix

    Jade Phoenix JaDeD

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    Makes sense.
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  6. ~S*T*A*R*M~

    ~S*T*A*R*M~ Goddess

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    Heeeeeeell no. That's an unwise and dangerous assumption to make, especially when matters of the heart are concerned. Ofcourse there's always the potential (or the risk lol) that it could evolve into something worthwhile. However, if things are not at that point yet, then all I'm left with is the present. I can only take the situation as what it is at that moment in time. Going off into lala-land and daydreaming about something that doesn't exist (and may never exist) is what causes unnecessary heartache for some many ladies. I like life to be simple, and thus, I try my best to live and breathe in the present. Sure, it's nice to hope for the best or "plan" for the future in certain cases. Yet, in this situation, I couldn't assume anything of a future that may not ever exist, or more importantly, one that I may not even want.

    lol! I think there's still room to finish loading that statement. jk Well, to begin, if a relationship results, great. If it doesn't, great. Life will go on either way. Second of all, I don't recall saying I'd revisit every last dripping detail with my girlfriend. (One, I know my girl wouldn't even want to hear it alllll.. just an overview is good enough, if any. Two, I'm actually a very private person. Unless I'm ridiculously excited about something, it's not in my nature to want to spill my guts.) Thirdly, I only have one girlfriend that I relay some of the most private details of my life with. So there are no multitudes of friends I'd share such things with, and thus a very low risk of the "shady friend" scenario. Unfortunately, shady people are all around us. However, who's to say that my boyfriend (who would only be my boyfriend after showing certain traits, such as being trustworthy, and devoted, for example) wouldn't resist the temptations of the shady friend? Who's to say the shady friend would even go for my man? There are too many "what ifs" in your question.


    As I said, all situations and encounters are ripe with potential. Even if things do go deeper, that's just the risk that we take. We risk shady friends trying to steal our beloved. We risk heartache. We risk high expenditures (financially & emotionally). We risk being gossiped about. We risk being unhappy. We risk STDs. We risk pregnancy. We risk alienation. Crazy enough, we even the risk that our friends and loved ones know that we have a sexually healthy relationship. God forbid. Even with all those risks (and more), have any of these thoughts ever stopped you from following your heart? Do most of them even come to mind at first? I doubt it. There are a lot of risks when it comes to relationships. You just have to handle them as they come, if they come.

    You've assumed that discussing sexual details with a friend could be the downfall of a relationship. There are too many other factors involved to even think in that direction. Even if it is, so what? Life will go on! On a side note, we are social creatures. We usually like to talk to one another, share joy with one another, and express happiness with one another. I don't see this situation as any different. Let's keep it real. Everybody talks/gossips, and every action has consequences.. but that doesn't stop most people from living their life. I say go with the flow, if you hit a bump in the road, then you deal with it the best you can to get past it. I just don't think the possibility of a bump appearing is enough to stop me from getting on that road & embarking on what could be the best adventure of my life. And if a bump takes me and my SO in two different directions, it will suck, but hey.. onward with the story of my life!
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  7. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    What assumption did I make? I simply asked a question in response to what you had written.

    True... but you don't think it's wise to prepare for every possiblity that you're aware of, especially when matters of the heart are concerned?

    See, now you're the one assuming... I never stated nor implied that you have to go off into "lala land or daydream about something that doesn't exist." I simply stated a truism in relationships... that any person you meet has the potential to be a life partner. So why not treat every encounter as if it could develop into something deeper, unless you've already made up your mind about the person before you do anything with them? No where does that imply that you give reckless abandon to your emotions and actions, which is what I would interpret "going off into lala land" to mean.

    We all have to live in the present. We have no choice... unless scientists have discovered time travel by now. However, life isn't simple. Making wise choices with regards to your relationships with others and preparing for some inevitabilities isn't asking that you leave the present.


    Okay... it's just that I was confused by the following statement that made me think you shared the same sentiment:

    You were just speaking in general?

    True, but we could do a lot to minimize the damage caused by them... not talking about your sexual escapades is one of them.

    That's why it's a hypothetical question... but that doesn't negate its merit. The scenarios I presented are very real and do happen.

    You just responded with two hypothetical questions.

    There are always two sides to every coin. "What if" just means it's possible... and I just think it's wise to try to do everything you can to prepare for and maybe counter those "what ifs." It's why people take out insurance or open up savings accounts.

    True... I'm simply trying to encourage risk management... which doesn't only apply to finances, but to matters of the heart, as well.

    I don't let my "heart" control me... my head does.

    Yep, they sure do... it's why we're having this conversation. I'm like George on "Seinfeld"... I over-analyze everything. It can be quite a conundrum for me to decide on what to have for dinner.

    There are certain risks you can completely eliminate.

    Is that not true?

    I've seen it happen.

    I think you're taking my asking questions about these possibilities as certainties. I've assumed nothing actually. I simply introduced the notion of probability with regards to cause-and-effect.

    There are some factors that you can control... talking about your sexual escapades with a friend is one of them. Just because uncontrollable factors exist doesn't mean that you should abandon controlling the ones that you can.

    That's an assumption that might be false. I know people who say don't gossip, but I can't say for sure if they're lying. I just have to take their word.

    I agree with this... but what's wrong with thinking before you act?
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  8. this conversation looks like me and tight eyes re-lived until we blossomed on a page one day in an unbeknown thread.
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  9. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    ^Are you trying to suggest that there is heat present? Not on my part... I can argue without hostility because I'm able to separate emotion and logic... Starm and I go way back, so I'm sure she's fine as well... when I do talk trash to the females, I'm only kidding... when I do it you, I mean it... ha!
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  10. lol and there was me thinkin we was cool or on a 5 min timeout atleast
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  11. SuB zer0

    SuB zer0 A.D.R.I.A.N.N.A

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    i dont think the females here act perfect

    im sayin it seems like it

    offline i know ALOT of hoes

    but every female on here

    never has one night stands

    only has sex with a man if she has feelins for em

    doesnt suck dick

    has only been with 1-2 men

    has never cheated and if they did

    it was a "good" reason

    and the only ones i know that are married are short and nanijah

    it just seems everybody is the innoscent type

    which is a lie
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  12. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Word... and when a chick is honest about her sexual liasons like Mixed Bebe, she gets hated on by the other females. Whatever happened to the sexual revolution?
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  13. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    oh please! like i said, there are FIVE girls on here consistently. All of them are mothers (for the most part). Do you really expect them to be ho'in it up like the people you know in real life??

    When im honest about how i feel i get negative responses too, and for the most part, the negativity comes from males on here, and you know what?? i know that most of the noise that's popped on the internet wouldn't even make a crackle on the blvd. this is a messageboard. people are fonting. if some ladies choose to font innocently (maybe because her man reads rm, or because that may just be how she really is), why comment on it?

    it's the internet. why not just take it for what it is, and keep it pushin?
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  14. ebonisunset

    ebonisunset Nemesis of Truth

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    yes it is wrong as hell and it will be even more wrong when the same girls you telling all your sexuall bitness to then goes and screws ya man
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  15. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Nevermind them... Iggy and Sub are on that bullshit. They know good and well, too. Plenty of women share personal info/stories [which really isn't their business, nor are they entitled to the info, in the first place]... and most of the negative responses come from males. Hell, most of the negative posts in this forum, period, come from the males.

    Shit, just check Man Enough... they talk shit to eachother all day erry day up in there and I'm pretty sure they're not all the players and pussy magnets they wanna claim to be, either. I have yet to see the women up in here bangin like that... for the most part, we all get along.

    But I guess as long as every woman isn't coming through recounting stories about getting ran through by the high school football team, she must be frontin. Just 'cause y'all like to tell all about all of your sexual exploits [factual and fictional] so you can pat one another on the back about the shit, doesn't make you any more "real" than anyone else up in here.

    Y'all better go on with that bullshit.

    RM is not a respresentative sample of the[type of] folks you run into in everyday life... and its not that serious.
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  16. SuB zer0

    SuB zer0 A.D.R.I.A.N.N.A

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    wtf man

    first off i dont make negative post in this forum about women

    and i dont believe every dude in man enough

    gets all the pussy he claims to get either

    plenty of times them fools make threads about gettin ass

    and im clownin because if u really gettin ass like that

    ur not makin a thread about it every 2 days

    just like i dont believe all the females here

    are as upstandin as they claim 2 be

    that works BOTH ways im speakin on me

    not other men on RM

    i been here 6 yrs

    dont u think i know this is not a rep

    for what people are like offline i aint stupid tight

    its just a amazin all the woemn with an account here

    are so respectable

    and samii that bein a mother thing is bullshit

    women fuck men other then the babies father while they are still knocked

    ur acttin like because a woman has a baby she cant be a hoe

    get off ur high horse point blank period
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  17. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    imma just leave it at that.

    get off my high horse?? no one is actin high and mighty. and no one is accusing you of being the person that spreads negativity in LD...but most males do. that's why a lot of the ladies that used to post (or frequently did) don't. I only said that because Igg was like "When a woman is real, the other women on here hate on her" which is bull.

    i think that's what it is. it's a given, everyone has done some scandalous shit in their past, or is doin some now. But, because i don't make a post every month chronicling my sex life, im tryin to act "upstanding"? Maybe it's none of your guys' business. did you ever think about that?

    guys say girl talk to much, and when we are tight lipped, we're "frontin" - would it make you feel better if i told you about the last sexcapade i had?? LoL (i kid, but fa real tho)
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  18. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Sub Zero is one of the realest cats on RM... I think you misunderstood him, tights.
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  19. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    No, for real... that actually happened. Remember the thread about running trains? Mixed Bebe or whatever her name is... admitted to fucking two guys at the same time and some other female started clowning her. The guys didn't degrade her at all... they might've called her a "freak," but that's a compliment these days.

    Why are you so private about that, but forthcoming with other things? Didn't you say you were molested or abused when you were young? I would think that would be more private and worth keeping to yourself than to reveal your "consensual affairs."

    Everybody knows that I'm an open book... I could care less what people thought of me... the phrase "too much info" has no meaning to me... and everything I say online, I also say in real life. There's never any frontin' with me... why do you think it was so hard for me to get pussy in high school? Because I was too real for those chickens... I said "stupid shit" that turned them off... I think I once told a girl she was my Laura Winslow or something like that... corniness was a turn-off back then, but I was only being honest... once I learned to be slick and say the right things, my pussy game increased tenfold.
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  20. Al Murder U

    Al Murder U Lyrically...

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    certain things arent cool...


    one day, i was at work, and co workers came up to me like congratulations, and teira told us why she's going to the doctor...


    she went and told the nosiest, most gossipin ass bitch about something...alluding to the fact that she may have been pregnant...i already had the idea, but i was so pissed when this girl came up and made a comment to me about it...i aint talk to my girl for like 3 weeks, and after that3 weeks, she wasnt pregnant....soi dunno exactly what she did, nor do i care right now...


    but i thibnk it's foul to tell people personal information like that..


    now if one of my boys asked if i hit, i'll simply say yes...but i dont go into details of head game or anything...


    so u can divulge information, without crossing huge privacy lines...
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