TAHday

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by FukkedUPKidR, Jun 7, 2003.

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  1. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest

    Just'a today kind of thing..





    Calm and collected
    My surroundings chose me to be here
    A brite lite settles my keen eyes on dehydrated blades of grass
    Which makes me inferior
    To waves of heat..
    Sincere beckons of passion
    I pardon n’ take heed to the flashy sports car lingo
    While some udder 20 car doors synchronize their slams
    Tip-toe-top-down
    I’m not looking to go anywhere
    To be anyplace, but here.





    aha..a wonderful OK day.
    test
  2. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    12,678
    where u been hidin[?]

    loved it......

    A brite lite settles my keen eyes on dehydrated blades of grass

    great line....but why so short...i want more damnit!

    lol....glad to see u dropin something......

    keep it up
    test
  3. FukkedUPKidR

    FukkedUPKidR Guest


    I've been here, I just dropped a poem last week!

    Aha, yes it is short...I don't know I just sorta started writing not knowing where I was going to...Then the words just stopped coming to me. This is the way it was supposed to be..and thanks. =)
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
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    "A brite lite settles my keen eyes on dehydrated blades of grass"

    that line was nice as hell. short but yet nice.

    one luv
    test
  5. Feme Sole

    Feme Sole Mrs. _Evil

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2002
    Messages:
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    short and nice.....liked the first lines......much love ms. rosa
    test
  6. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
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    I'm feeling it for what is there. I would love for you to expand on this piece and go a little more in length and indepth, yam sayin'?

    "Which makes me inferior
    To waves of heat.."


    Nice use of metaphorical statements. I thought this wasn't so emotional, yet it was more of what was happening, basically. Short, but sweet type of joint you dropped here. My blessings..
    test
  7. vinous

    vinous New Member

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    May 22, 2003
    Messages:
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    i dont think you need to expand on this, its great as is, all well that ends well, and it ended really well. i guess prefer short pieces anyway.
    test
  8. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    i liked it. had a nice vibe to it..sourta mellow and relaxed. i can dig it :)
    test
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