SW: 2. Jook vs. 15. Master Peace

Discussion in 'RSTL Grudge Matches and Tournaments' started by Baron Mynd, Jan 23, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. _millz_

    _millz_ New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    60
    jook....pretty good read...had its dull moments but mostly was entertaining...pretty well written...good wording and steady movement throughout...good use of descriptions to pull off a solid verse

    vs.


    master...this was aite....content and story development was sorta lacking to me...and flow was a bit on and off at times...for the most part it was a easy to follow piece...just not quite up to par with the opponents verse


    vote- jook
    test
  2. Ribo Nuke

    Ribo Nuke Audiodidact

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2006
    Messages:
    2,457
    Jook - Dope piece once again man. Pretty much what I expected, some gore a violence put into a really deep piece. I liked the inner struggle brought into hip hop thing, I think it is a twist that isn't done enough on a hip hop site like this. Good wording imagery, and it flowed smooth.

    Master Peace - This was OK. A couple constructive suggestions are all i can really offfer here. This piece was a bit simple. no twist to it or anything. And when this happens you ahve to make up for it with mechanics. Your lines are really long which doesn't make for a smooth read. You shoul dbe rhyming more often or faster inbetween lines. Some of your wording is also dragged out, you should try to speak from a more natural narrative voice, and that will help you make your lines shorter as well. This wasn't really a bad piece, just needed some work.


    Vote - Jook
    test
  3. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2001
    Messages:
    5,344
    vote jook

    just a better overall piece, the main difference was jook's verse fit my personal liking, the flow was smooth and the way it was written in a more graded english paper type of way, master's was cool i just didn't like the stretched bars and most of it didn't rhyme that well, props to you both for showing though
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)