summer tourney: 15- FURL v 18- BAYSICK

Discussion in 'the Onslaught' started by Vern Acular, Jul 6, 2003.

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  1. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    test
  2. BaySick

    BaySick ill.

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  3. furl

    furl Keep Movin

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    Signin in thx for showin me this basic I dont even remeber signin up
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  4. BaySick

    BaySick ill.

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    Topic = Hyperventilation

    Ima tell you a little something about hyperventilating..
    Nothing more then doubt is what it is, like cyber fucking..
    You don’t know what’s gonna happen you could last..
    And ur body could shut down and you die relaxed..
    The air is seeped out ur mouth like a vacuum ur consumed..
    With fear and your doom is near but you appear in zoomed..
    In trying to breath ur last breath but you cant catch it..
    Its like a death trap when ur next to it you no the shit..
    And you can’t do nething to stop form falling in the pit..
    But once you do ur through so fighting its what you do..
    Hope is all you have and fear is just distracting you..
    Kinda like you feel right now, just settle down pal or sir..
    Its just me you and the gun on ur face a 38 caliber..
    No big deal I just wanted to speak to these Internet people..
    Ay you lazy ass fucks ur wasting ur life and ur all pitiful..
    I just wanted to say that…ill be at every one of ur houses..
    Doin the same thing im doin baysick iv killed all his spouses..
    u people are next because ur pitiful and so is Jeff an all his crap....
    I was the one that gave him this damn idea he stab me in the back..
    ….
    I mean why you think I have more post then he does..
    And I have better avatars then everyone huh its cuz..
    I made up this damn rapmusic.com idea and im pissed..
    So he gave me posts and it kept me quiet now I insist..
    On getting me revenge through everyone of you RManins..
    Don’t even think for one second ill take it easy on my friends..
    Cuz you’ve all hated on me at least once and iknow it..
    But now that will stop, im here to prove it and show it..

    Clutching the 38 one down about 20,000 left ya just wait..
    Ill be they’re to kill you and ur family don’t even ask for fate..
    Because its gone along with ur favorite member baysick..
    Consider this verse over and don’t vote cos his been terminated..


    Sincerely,

    V E R B






    [Based on a dream by: Nooneremembersverb i mean Verbicallynasty]
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  5. furl

    furl Keep Movin

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    I'll do Hypervental whatever

    Walking along the bridge.. no car an shit
    Sweating fierce the breath hurting my ribs
    My little brother chattering away
    Shit i've been walkin all damn day
    no play just work walking an school
    it seems my brother's face beems fool
    Happens fast in the blink of an eye
    The idiot trips, or slips an he begins to fly
    Almost over but he grabs the rail
    He's whimpering his face grows pale
    I grab on to him I will not fail, I hope
    Thinkin fast I use my Belt as a rope
    I pull him up he smiles, I'm muttering
    My throat constricts, a trick? I begin stuttering
    The breath in my longs is caught my eyes bulge
    I try to calm down remeberin what I was told
    All I can so are black spots my vision is blurred
    My brother stares at me not sayin a word
    The air where is it I can't find any...
    My whole chest shudders feelin air a plenty
    but none in me, wheezing tryin my lungs so weak...
    An to think I was playin ball just last week
    it's gettin blink my strength is ebbing
    I feel like my throat is covered w/ webbing
    My brothers hand slammin onto my back
    the spots... all over they begin to stack
    like tetris.. thinkin this I begin to wish I had letters
    To family an friends this is the end... i'll meet my betters
    My mom I don't want to upset her.. AIR!!!!!
    I can't find it i feel tinglin from my back to my hair
    My face burns my lungs pull wishin to be full
    I slowly meet the pavement... a crumpled form..
    Killed from an asthma attack so young

    8 minutes worth enjoy
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  6. Entrensical

    Entrensical still EXS and STC

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    vote-baysick


    furl told a nice story, no doubt.. quite nice


    baysick came better tho, a better story, a better flow.. and some humor..


    so thats why he wins
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  7. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

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    Decent battle.

    Baysick - Decent verse. Content was pretty simple though. Try to make it more interesting with some better vocabulary use. That can spice it up a little bit, and make it more of an effecting story. Storyline was good, and it was funny, creative, and kept me reading. Flow was aight, could've been a little better. Had some multies here and there as well. Good shit man.

    Furl - You had a decent story, but I wasn't feeling your flow at all. Bars were much too short to maintain a good flow. Story line was aight, not as humerous. Simplistic content though, as I told Baysick.

    Both need some work here and there, but it comes in time.

    Vote - Baysick
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  8. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    upping for votes
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  9. FortiFied Killa

    FortiFied Killa New Member

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    alright battle, nothing special about either verse.

    baysick- it seemed that your lines were a little stretched out at times and that fucked up your flow. Story was a little odd, kind of dropped at the end.

    furl- your flow also dropped at times. story started off looking like it would go nowhere but picked up near the end nicely.

    vote=furl
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  10. BaySick

    BaySick ill.

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    2-1 uppin dammit!
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  11. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    going with furl

    flow was more crisp although your structure kept switching, in the end i was satisfied enough to pick you over bay, bay had an ok verse, but it was hard to follow flow was off in many areas, but it's good though, props to both of you for showing
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  12. BaySick

    BaySick ill.

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    thats fuckin bullshit his verse was garbage..and u people that voted against me are just dumb
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  13. Macabre

    Macabre Guest

    Baysick- A little too basic, and non rhyming in some areas. Maintained a good flow and had some attempted nice concepts. Had the vocab(though not much) of the battle.

    Furl- Told a nice story, you won that category. But that flow and vocab was too...DOJO. The bars were too short. Had some nice emotion, but that was really all.

    Vote- Baysick. Not a great verse from either, but Baysick took it with the little bit of complexity that was there. I had to stuggle to read through Furl's verse, but it got better at the end. Baysick's managed to pull you in here and there so you wouldn't get so bored.
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  14. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    it's too late now, but just for the record i actually meant to vote for baysick, i just got the names switched, so im just throwing out my vote, sorry for the mix up
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  15. BaySick

    BaySick ill.

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    lol my bad for bitchin then..lol
    3-1
    up
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  16. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    winner baysick
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