Successful Relationships....

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Speedy Gunzalez, Nov 14, 2005.

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  1. Speedy Gunzalez

    Speedy Gunzalez Awareness is my Alias

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    I agree.

    Intense feelings need to be channeled positively to the advantage of the relationship. Going from "fuck you" to "fuck me" from so rapidly is not healthy in the long run, although it could reap short term rewards like goof make-up sex. Ultimately there has to be some consistency in terms of how both partners handle their emotions. For example, you could have a dude who loves his woman to death, but manifests his passion through physical abuse.
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  2. JadoreJeTaime

    JadoreJeTaime I know, I love you too!

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    All the points mentioned in here are good ones and the majority of the responses that I had to share have already been taken. But just to say what I wanted to say: good communication, respect, space, trust, loyalty, a sense of humor, mutual interests and of course, an actual interest in one anothe. No use in wasting your time with someone you have no interest in. Pity relationships, *shakes head* Never wanna be there again.
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  3. THEPECK

    THEPECK New Member

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    She gives me sex whenever I want no debate no bargaining.
    She cooks what I want when I want.
    She shuts her fucken dirty mouth when im watching TV or playing video games.
    She automatically gives me her paycheque.
    She cleans the house all of it, and makes the bed.
    gets the groceries and does the shopping.

    Basically a real woman, you know none of this new age bullshit empowerment garbage she does that and I kick her ass out.

    So yeah I need a woman that acts how women in the 30's acted like REAL WOMEN.

    And the relationship will run smoothly :)
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  4. urban_tactics

    urban_tactics aka johnny cockram

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    not a need for a relationship

    an active NEED for that person....the other person serves a great purpose in your life just as u do for them....if the person ur with has no real purpose of being in your life past CONVIENCE, then its never gonna be real love.......love is a need 2 ppl have for each other...
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  5. Anidawehi

    Anidawehi "-----"

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    What is a successful relationship?

    If you're talking about one that lasts throughout life you're asking the wrong people.
    Go to a nusing home and ask a married couple that have lived together for over 50 years.
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  6. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    true... I don't know that there is a set formula... I chat on another board (older AA demographic... many been married for 20+ years) and when this topic comes up the answers are always so diverse... and even then we're only getting one partner's perspective on the matter... I think it would be interesting to hear from both partners in those relationships... thats whose input I'd be more inclined to take heed to... I take much of what I read on this board w/a grain of salt, considering that the average poster is pretty young, single, and clueless as to how to maintain a successful relationship (myself included... lol).
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  7. Mr ExZ

    Mr ExZ evolved

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    space is true.. absence makes the heart grow fonder

    love= two bodies sharing one soul... but that seems to have fallen to shit in my life.. so im gonna go with

    love= the misconception that one girl differs from all the others

    trust is key, and love
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  8. Ignorant

    Ignorant Village Idiot

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    Half true... because longevity doesn't always equal success or happiness.

    I've known couples to be married for 20+ years and divorced... sometimes, throughout a 30, 40, or 50 year relationship, the love may have withered away at the 10 or 15 year mark and they're just tolerating one another.

    But I did speak to a couple who were happily married after 40 years and they said the secret to their success was "to give and forgive." And frankly, that's it.

    You can't be selfish at all in a relationship... once you stop giving, the love will die. And you have to forgive missteps, even if that includes infidelity, because as long as you continue to hold grudges and resentment, there is no room for love and growth.
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  9. Mr ExZ

    Mr ExZ evolved

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    ^^ ehhhh.. half tru n1g

    to give and forgive? not necessarily.. cause nah mean, your girl goes and cheats on you.. what do u just forgive?

    you gotta draw the line at some point.. if you continue to forgive u turn out to be on the receiving end of an abusive relationship
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  10. Ax Cess

    Ax Cess Huh...

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    lol that would be when I would leave....I cant stand someone I can just walk over whenever
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  11. MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN

    MiSt_Of_CoNfUsIoN Ray of Sunshine

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    Well you either forgive or you get out of the relationship..Otherwise you're just wasting time sticking around.

    I've met two married couples from the nursing home that have both been married 30+ years and in both of them their husbands have beat them from day one.. Just because people stay married for decades doesn't mean they have a successful marriage.
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  12. CherryPie854

    CherryPie854 Hood Rich Bitch

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    Complete honesty on both parts, thats is the only way you will gain that trust that people bitch so much about
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  13. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    I don't mean emotional instability or psychotic obsession lol...not at all...Yes intense emotions need to be channeled into positive lights, but I only brought the example of "fuck you bitch" to emphasize the need for passion. If you can ever be indifferent toward your mate, or show no feelings toward that person (weather they be negative OR positive) then you won't be able to have a successful relationship. period.

    besides, we all know that in the heat of the moment in an argument, it's easy to say thing out of anger that you don't mean. And i know that i would rather my man cuss me out, than not care. For example: when me and my bf get into an argument, whenever i use the silent treatment, or don't respond to his words, that makes him more upset and hurt versus me yelling back.
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  14. Anidawehi

    Anidawehi "-----"

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    No, but nobody on RM has been married long enough to answer your question.

    I've only been married a little over a year and we still act like we just started dating. The only answer I can give you is "Love". If you truly love the other person you wont cheat on them because that would be pointless, you wont lie to them because that's your ONLY true friend in life, you wont hurt them in any way (unless by accident) because by hurting them you are also hurting yourself.

    A failed relationship can be viewed as a "successful" relationship if you learn from it. What is success?

    My last relationship lasted 2 years and ended when I looked into Natalia's eyes.
    It ended that moment. The next time I talked to my girl I ended it. I KNEW that Natalia was my wife. I knew that I would NEVER again need another Woman just by looking in her eyes. I believe in "Soul Mates" but most of the people on RM probably don't because they haven't experienced it.


    Love doesn't wither.
    That's bullshit.

    Lust withers.
    Love NEVER dies.



    That's bullshit

    Giving and Forgiving are part of it but that doesn't sum up a successful relationship. That sums up one that can last a long time.


    There is a difference between forgiving infidelity and taking the person back.
    If my wife cheated on me we would still be best friends. I would still love her for the rest of my life. But we would get divorced and I would never sleep with her again. I would never touch her sexually again because she defiled her body with another man. I wouldn't have gotten married to her had she been with another man sexually. I would have still loved her. I would still see her as a beatiful woman. But I wouldn't have married her. I wouldn't have seen her as a "Wife" if she had done that. My children will not come from a polluted womb.

    *Shrugs*
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  15. Offbeat

    Offbeat New Member

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    ^ that was ur coolest point ive ever seen
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  16. Offbeat

    Offbeat New Member

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    so ur goal is to try and get him upset as possible??

    fuck u know about successful relationships

    thats supposed to be your best friend

    ide never get my girl upset on purpose, or even by accident
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  17. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I'm with you on that one, but there are some folks here who can share what its taken for their relationship to succeed... but I do think Ignorant's answer was the most generally applicable of all the others here - meeting each others needs.

    I can agree with that to an extent... I can appreciate that we gain wisdom/insight from our failures... but I wouldn't describe that as success... the word 'failure' itself means lack of success... then again, I guess the measure of success would depend on what your initial goal was for the relationship in the first place - to learn a lesson or to sustain the relationship - and whether that goal was met.

    I can agree with that... romantic feelings might wither, but I don't think the love does.
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  18. ~S*T*A*R*M~

    ~S*T*A*R*M~ Goddess

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    Yeah, I can dig that. I think there's more to it, but that's definitely where the foundation lays.
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