Story Time Tim

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by Radical Sun, Oct 15, 2010.

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  1. Radical Sun

    Radical Sun New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Messages:
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    Different than the "battle" verse.
    Been 10 years since I did this so trying to shake off A LOT of rust.....

    he's pissed n he's ripped - dudes talkin sh!t //
    got the nine gripped - this kid never slips //
    he's a young but old fool - he says f#ck school //
    he'd go to act cool - and just to break rules //
    never listened to no one - they don't know nothin' //
    the old kats gangsta - but he knows they just frontin' //
    they all just jealous - they raggin' in public //
    if they wasn't in groups he'd tell em all to just shove it //
    lonely - a loner - he never trust peeps //
    confident in himself - he thinks he runs deep //
    hatred builds up - havin' dreams he wants to squeeze //
    dads gone away moms ashes thrown in the breeze //
    no doubt a smart youth but can't find no one to believe //
    Gramps just passed - grams to tired //
    wants to rob and blast but lets it go for awhile //
    then one day took a walk around the block //
    same dudes want to talk - this is the first time he stops //
    they talk about ballin' - never see him at the court //
    he's done with that sh!t - no longer cares about sports //
    then outta the blue - dude knocks him the head //
    he better listen up - to whats bein' said //
    this isn't his block - stay the f#ck off //
    spitin' blood when he coughs - on lines for hopsctoch //
    he now had enough - time to do it right //
    concrete jungle - vietnam like //
    leaves the crib quiet - kiss grams goodbye //
    feel it in his blood - someones gonna die //
    creeps to the spot still sees his blood on the ground //
    blood starts to boil - time to throw down //
    sees shadows on the steps - just holds his breathe //
    shots ring out - folks hit the deck //
    kid runs home - still feels alone //
    thought he'd feel comfort from the chill of the chrome //
    next morn' - gram wakes him with a groan //
    another kid dead - the pastor on the phone //
    10 year old girl - no longer on this earth //
    he should of thought twice instead of actin' first....
    test
  2. mr.redeyez

    mr.redeyez Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2007
    Messages:
    918
    he's a young but old fool - he says f#ck school //
    he'd go to act cool - and just to break rules //



    lonely - a loner - he never trust peeps //
    confident in himself - he thinks he runs deep //



    hatred builds up - havin' dreams he wants to squeeze //
    dads gone away moms ashes thrown in the breeze //
    no doubt a smart youth but can't find no one to believe //
    Gramps just passed - grams to tired //
    wants to rob and blast but lets it go for awhile //
    then one day took a walk around the block //
    same dudes want to talk - this is the first time he stops //


    concrete jungle - vietnam like //
    leaves the crib quiet - kiss grams goodbye //
    feel it in his blood - someones gonna die //
    creeps to the spot still sees his blood on the ground //
    blood starts to boil - time to throw down //
    sees shadows on the steps - just holds his breathe //
    shots ring out - folks hit the deck //
    kid runs home - still feels alone //
    thought he'd feel comfort from the chill of the chrome //



    that was some real shit i can say shit like that happens alot where im from good shit rad
    test
  3. Ace the Prophet

    Ace the Prophet A Prophet to the Game

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    4,343
    nice shit dude. not bad for not writing in like 10 years, lol..favorite line was the concrete jungle, vietnam like line. Sick. Good storytelling man. Keep it up. 1
    test
  4. miscreant

    miscreant 1996 was the shit

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2010
    Messages:
    2,856
    Yeh I liked it too.

    then one day took a walk around the block //
    same dudes want to talk - this is the first time he stops //
    they talk about ballin' - never see him at the court //
    he's done with that sh!t - no longer cares about sports //
    then outta the blue - dude knocks him the head //
    he better listen up - to whats bein' said //
    this isn't his block - stay the f#ck off //
    spitin' blood when he coughs - on lines for hopsctoch //
    he now had enough - time to do it right //
    concrete jungle - vietnam like //
    leaves the crib quiet - kiss grams goodbye //
    feel it in his blood - someones gonna die //
    creeps to the spot still sees his blood on the ground //
    blood starts to boil - time to throw down //
    sees shadows on the steps - just holds his breathe //
    shots ring out - folks hit the deck //
    kid runs home - still feels alone //
    thought he'd feel comfort from the chill of the chrome //

    Pretty deep, nice flow, couple mad lines in there too.

    Nice, especially after 10 years.
    test
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