story of her life

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by Tacky Jones, Mar 8, 2011.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    lil rusty


    verse

    she doesnt understand, but wonders, can
    she find a wonderman to always love her, and
    cup her hand and give her a life of comfort, stand
    up for her and can plan to fix her christmas supper, ham
    shes seventeen, so pretty, shes heaven's being
    with a heavenly beam, setting me free
    setting a scene, i wish we'd forever be we
    but i go ingnored, it seems she'll never see me
    shes got her eyes on this skid, he's so fuckin dumb
    he's 26, there should be plenty glitch when he sees somethin young
    but he's a petty dick witha ready stick, he'll hump and dump
    leave her pumped and drink, stuffed and thumped, sunk in cum
    when she wakes she see's her Prince Charming bailed
    the rage instead of her is storming, hail
    ridding her mouth of the taste of cum with a breath mint
    she thinks to herself "that motherfuckers got a death wish"

    hook

    isnt it funny the way things work
    and isnt it funny the way she flirts
    and isnt it funny the way she hurts
    want my love ya gotta lay me first
    he grabs the rubber off the night stand
    she thinks shes found the right man
    all shes found is a one night stand
    this is just the story of her life, man

    verse

    "Sorry girl, shit came up last time
    family issues but now my dads fine
    i feel so sorry, i dont suppose you recon that
    i can pick you up tonight and get a second chance"
    The deals sealed, he takes her to Applebees
    Before him she was nun-status, chappel scene
    It starts happening, light flirting, a kiss on the eye lid
    "Hey baby, lets go watch a movie at my crib
    No, wait, yours, my aunts over from outta town"
    next morning she awakes, her smiles now a frown
    cuz he left, didnt even leave a phone number
    left her all alone, fucker, and this time used no rubber
    Prince Charmings a fag, she dont want that bloke in her vicinity
    he took something from her and made a joke of her virginity
    my advice is dude needs to go away, stat
    that waste of space fags about to get a taste of payback

    hook

    isnt it funny the way things work
    and isnt it funny the way she flirts
    and isnt it funny the way she hurts
    want my love ya gotta lay me first
    he grabs the rubber off the night stand
    she thinks shes found the right man
    all shes found is a one night stand
    this is just the story of her life, man

    verse

    quickly, she enlists me, a friend from way back
    you dont wanna be with this queen, then dont say that...
    ...you'll be there in the morning, just wanted to swipe her v-card
    you play with the knife and you pay with your life, retard
    so we make a plan, talk to the people at the party to find his name
    find out he still lives at home with mom and dad, kinda lame
    so dad leaves for work, then mom heads out
    Back doors unlocked, this faggot loses his head now
    and im gonna help her, shes gonna love me next
    dates, a honeymoon, i'll be left with none regrets
    we walk in to the room hes in, he panics
    she manage to grab the gat and blam it
    Damnit, i freeze, watching dude form a blood lake
    a life taken away over some dumb date
    "I know a place they toss a lotta fucks
    bag him up and were headed to the Aquadux"
    i grab the garbage bag and grab the axe
    just thinking shes mine now, i have the chance
    but the sound i hear next has me in complete silence
    cause im hearing 3 or 4 police sirens
    Fuck
    test
  2. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,356
    LOL

    Killa ending, shit was too funny. Good use of foreshadowing throughout the rhyme and the flow is real nice, the hook didnt do anything for me, i think that if you cut it out the verse would still be pretty hot, like it didnt really ADD anything to the song maybe its just me , but the story was real dope, Peace

    fav lines:

    i grab the garbage bag and grab the axe
    just thinking shes mine now, i have the chance
    but the sound i hear next has me in complete silence
    cause im hearing 3 or 4 police sirens
    test
  3. Open Mic Kingz

    Open Mic Kingz T.a.C & JASON ANTHONY

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2011
    Messages:
    14
    test
  4. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    thanks fellas
    test
  5. JASON ANTHONY

    JASON ANTHONY White Devil

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    lmao @ you thanking yourself
    test
  6. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    lol, fuck off
    test
  7. dsp2k5

    dsp2k5 Dime Sack Pimp

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    lol ... endin different than i thought it would ... dope drop man .. right on the money
    test
  8. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    614
    Yo T.a.C. wassup! Good story, I just don't like the last bar. Sounds like you just ended too simply. Say something clever to end it and it will be perfect. Other than that i like the story about the horny friend willing kill out of jealousy not love. I love it dude. Good story structure, you always been good at that. Also something I didn't see from you much in the Topical League....RHYMING....great rhyming I love the rhyming alot....No real strong wordplay in this but superb storytelling and rhyme patterns....much props dude....also I like the hook
    test
  9. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    thanks d

    whatsup omega. league needs you back. idk, for me its hard to tell a story the way the league likes and keep a nice rhyme scheme going. i dont real lyrical in either league. though next run in the RSTL im jus gonna say fuck it and do it my way. prolly gonna go 0-20 but whatever.
    test
  10. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    some of them people voter deduct points for the same shit they do in their verse thats why I left.....even though I won the majority I still got dogged...so it was like bitter sweet wins

    I might come back after I graduate in May.

    Also comment on my new verse I just posted up... http://board.rapmusic.com/open-mic/1273205-last-assassin.html
    test
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