Spoken language

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA, May 30, 2003.

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  1. DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA

    DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA The Silencer

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2000
    Messages:
    2,569
    Spoken language​




    Voices of love seemed lassitude to the mind
    lamely i say i wasn`t shy
    yet i oblige and hide
    the love we shared-,
    lascivious language
    becomes plenished
    spoken words couldn`t
    remove the love we had hidden-
    yet something was missing
    not far behind-
    languishment lured us
    lancinating my heart
    was lathy
    but lifelike
    admiting are love could go farther for a
    life time-
    likeness to a angel
    was you
    are love conveying
    all that is true
    The love we shared was you
    not only
    but me and you
    as one we share
    experiencing a life-giving
    love line
    forever and always
    a time-
    limitless to how love can be shared
    when two compare the love they
    share
    spoken words simplify the two
    of pare
    light shone on my beauty
    my queen
    earth sheltering
    you from me
    love tell me how it used to be
    ive forgotten the love
    i used to see..​


    an old peice i thought i would share with some new minds
    test
  2. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    havent seen u round in a minute.....

    nice drop....actually read it earlier but was about to do some work.....so i couldnt drop a reply.....

    very well written, didnt lose my attention during the entire piece....i was right there with u.....thought the way u ended it was dope......

    spoken words couldn`t
    remove the love we had hidden-
    yet something was missing


    like that

    keep doing ya thang

    up
    test
  3. DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA

    DA-SMOOTHEST-TALKA The Silencer

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2000
    Messages:
    2,569
    Thanks playa yea ive been hella busy lately thats why im never on like i used to be, but things should be better soon i hope thanks for the reply im upping.
    test
  4. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678

    no prob....u know u always get love from me....do me a fav though

    check out one of my pieces......dont know why cats is sleepin like they are
    test
  5. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2003
    Messages:
    1,734
    Yeah that was pretty slick...But when you said "Are love conveying" did you mean OUR love conveying? Kinda confused me there. But this is some shit you sit your girl on a bench at park and read to her after yall took one of them walks. Yeah.
    test
  6. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

    Joined:
    May 25, 2003
    Messages:
    869
    It was an alright piece, I thought that the rhyme scheme was quite weak with this one with simplistic word usages. Although, everyone else was onpoint, you got your message across about how you saw love in it's own definition. I also believe you have the potential of making this piece more of a powerful statement, then just a plain... Statement. You've probably elevated since then, due to the fact that you said you wrote that a while back. My blessings..
    test
  7. J-Smooth

    J-Smooth The Smoothness Playa

    Joined:
    May 25, 2001
    Messages:
    248
    yo dog i remember this poem this poem was the reason why i thought i try my hand in writein poems. thanks 4 bringin back this poem don't be a stranger dog MADD LOVE.One the Smoothness Playa you know the one with the suit on. lol
    test
  8. UnknownLady

    UnknownLady Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2001
    Messages:
    818
    Oh how do I love this piece. I was the first to read this back in the gap, and now that I read it again I still get chills up and down my spine. Where you been? Glad to see you back. Grace us with more of your talent and smoothness. Get at me.

    I'm out
    Unknownlady
    test
  9. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    Oh shit a old head as returned. I believe to do remember reading this piece by you, it's been so long ago. But this was great it flowed well. And like augee said, it does seem like something i would read to my girl at a park or soemthing. Glad to see you back hope to see more from you

    one luv
    test
  10. vinous

    vinous New Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
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    id hate to read this shit out loud, lol, lotsa l's. did u write this with a dictionary open by your side , lancinating, languishment, lascivious, lathy ....ah well, mines open rite tryna understand
    test
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