Snuffin' the Mic

Discussion in 'Open Mic' started by Mrjdm998, Apr 4, 2011.

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  1. Mrjdm998

    Mrjdm998 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2011
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    Comparing you to me's like a GI Joe Toy to a thick gun
    Soulja Boy to Big Pun milk made of soy to swigged rum
    A blunt blade to a hand grenade a dance parade to a planned raid
    Understand I'm not afraid a one man crusade brave like when Japan invade
    Get ready for your puny city to be plundered like it's three-hundred
    I'll leave flooded providences in me and your girls wake as she suffers
    Plant a curb stomp on your neck celebral cortex on the door step
    Skilled at war prep broke the limits and now a glass jaws next
    I'll be bucking guys in their bulging eyes till they fucking die
    While you're working in McDonalds cooking fries and looking shy
    test
  2. IAmBenT

    IAmBenT Eat a dick, faggot

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2011
    Messages:
    1,356
    Your word choice and images and the comparisons at the top were really killr, i just wish at times you would use less words and get right to it...

    You to me is GI Joe toys to Thick Guns!

    the comparison is implied, you know.

    i didnt like the looking shy thing but the idea was right on. This is a cool start to a verse and sounds like a part of a collab?? its good to see some back to ass beating type lyrics on the open mic
    test
  3. the omega man

    the omega man so, it goes

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Messages:
    614
    Pretty decent rhyme. Some of the comparisons are off the wall aren't really that lyrical. However, your flow and rhyme patterns are on point. You ended it sort of abruptly. Try to add another bar to wrap it up.
    test
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