Slipping...

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by kyza soza, Mar 3, 2004.

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  1. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    this one is for my homie and my grandad who died on october 20th and november 10th last year...eternally missed


    It’s been 5 months now, for the same fate I’m longing
    He was the essence of life, till drugs took that from him
    With an open hand, don’t even reach my fingertips
    When you die, you go, never knowing how much you’ll be missed
    I aint cool with this, predictable avenues of thought
    Life’s a game that at loosing…you cannot afford
    And if your left short, paralyzed or lost eyesight
    Need an abacus to count times I’ve cried in the night-light
    Now October 20th is always etched into my brain
    Stirring crazy, but my rhymes are still sketched like I’m sane
    This left me heartbroken, please believe in that
    I don’t gotta break my heart to make it bleed on a track
    I felt you slipping away man, like a boat that’s set to sail
    See you soon homie, as if you was only going around the world
    Granddad’s coffin, carrying it was the hardest thing in a while
    The six of us…putting on a façade of broken smiles
    I aint William Wallace…I jus sick of being brave
    When the ones with big hearts are sleeping in their graves

    pz and drop links
    test
  2. Zeta

    Zeta New Member

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    I'm really sorry that you suffered such a loss, this poem is really a good one. I liked the abacus part, and so on and so forth. Very well done!
    Peace
    test
  3. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

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    Deep man I can feel for loses, And i just hate to see some one lose a loved one or ones. just remember that they are still with you at all times, looking over you. Yo nice piece and just stay up.


    Stay Up, Much Love, Peace
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    ^He said it best. They're still with you man. Keep your head up. This is one of the things in life that makes us stronger.

    one luv
    test
  5. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    The six of us…putting on a façade of broken smiles

    favorite part

    this is a sad, hate to here about things like this going on in peoples lives


    u gotta stay strong..as mind said they are still with you.....

    .......enjoyed the read

    Upin
    test
  6. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    wada boom....thanx...much appreciated...

    this is actually going on audio soon...maybe
    test
  7. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    uppin...and drop links people
    test
  8. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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  9. h.wood

    h.wood IMAGINATION SUPER STAR

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    this is as strong as it was deep . very sad and you did a great job keeping the emotion constistant without being overbearing. sometimes especially with poems involving death the grief is either just let out or pounded into the reader so that you feel the heartache the person is going through, this was done well. good job ^
    test
  10. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

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    its pretty fucked up when someone you lose
    cuz you never see it comin
    like one of my childhood friends that passed away a couple years ago
    i wasnt to close with him before he died....
    sometimes these things can really show you how important life really is though
    its a reality check that u need sometimes...
    test
  11. iLL Script.

    iLL Script. ~Poetic~

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    I felt you slipping away man, like a boat that’s set to sail
    See you soon homie, as if you was only going around the world
    Granddad’s coffin, carrying it was the hardest thing in a while
    The six of us…putting on a façade of broken smiles


    losin' someone is always hard, i know that feelin' all 2 well. nice piece, always keep ur head up kid
    stay up
    test
  12. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    thanx H, KT and eloquent

    ups

    1 love
    test
  13. MarQuise*

    MarQuise* Can You Hear Me*

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    In this feed to you I'ma write down suttin that i had to do when i lost my cousin, 7 years ago this month...I hope it helps you to deal with shit.

    Things in life happen for a reason, we suffer much heartache, and go through so much pain. The hardest type of pain a person can go through is losing someone close to them.
    In my life I have suffered many heartaches, and those being of when members of my family had passed away, and when a very close friend of mine was killed in a motorbike accident. Trying to come to terms with someone passing away is one of the hardest things a person will have to do in their life, whether the person died through old age, or whether they died from an accident, nothing makes it easy when someone dies. The pain is almost inconsolable, and the feeling will never go away, the memories will forever stay in your heart, they will never fade away, the pain will eventually become easier to deal with, but will never totally be freed from your heart and mind.


    Kyza i wrote that when my cousin died, it hurt me so much, and the reason i put it in the reply was because i want you to know that your not alone in any of this, im alwayz here for you, and i know even to this day that you find it hard to deal with your boys death, and ur grandad, but you have to keep your head up.

    I concluded mine with...

    I don’t think that feeling will ever go away, I know that my hurt will never leave me, and the pain of losing him will never leave me, but as the years go on, the pain becomes easier, but will never by any means be forgotten.

    To conclude my reply, i wanna say i thought you came real strong with this, i didnt know what to say because everyone says the same isht, so i did this because it was relevant in my eyes...I know you will understand...

    Much Lv
    test
  14. CommonenemY

    CommonenemY locomokopokeyohoehoe

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    wow....

    this was pretty deep but it kept me reading....

    stay up man everyone goes through it...

    "He was the essence of life, till drugs took that from him"

    that crap always has a tendency to do that....

    take a lot more away than it gives...
    test
  15. The_MRB

    The_MRB infiltrate your border

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    heartfelt people
    test
  16. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    no doubt people

    uppin
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  17. Big-Byrd

    Big-Byrd Muhammad Atta

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    What He Said.
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  18. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    no doubt man

    uppin
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  19. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    i'm still waiting for that reply to my last piece...u just wrote fingerprints...
    test
  20. kyza soza

    kyza soza This way up.

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    lol, ill get at it now...i knew i had one!
    test
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