Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Anidawehi, Dec 7, 2006.
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If you respond to this, leave a link to your poem and I'll read and reply to it.
^^ lol at you complaining in your other thread because people only reply to poems of people who have replied to their own... and yet, you want people to leave links to their poems so you can respond to them, because they responded to you....
Funny, I thought I just asked a question . . .?
Didn't realize I had complained about it.
So let me get this straight, you went to that thread first, read it . . . and then came to this thread, read this poem . . . and then replied (not to the poem) to the statement below the poem?
I decided to play along.
Now, do you want to leave a link to your poem and reply to mine or do you want to start that whole little squabble up again? Because obviously you've returned or you wouldn't be reading this reply to you. Shall we be civil or shall we act like children? Your call. It doesn't matter to me, either way.
I was just pointing something out. lol...
When I see a poem I like, I'll reply to it.
And my bad, for thinking that somebody who took the time to up their own poem making comments about how the forum has changed and nobody replies unless they have been replied too ..was complaining. I guess what I would have done if my poem was being slept on would have been to reply to other poems in hopes that they'd be polite enough to return the favor. OR perhaps even take my poem to another forum entirely. But then again, I'm not much into whining, or beating a dead horse, or in this case, a dead forum.
i like this piece son nice, the style of it was a lil bit dif from the norm, of what we see round here but i liked the way it read, and the message that was in it. remided me of something i'd read in school, prety nice
Well, thanks for taking the time out to reply to . . .
I was going to reply to it but the thread got closed. Probably "too many" on the first page.
The only thing I would really say is that there aren't enough "concrete" images and you need to appeal more to the senses. In this "Shekinah" poem I didn't use either but if you read the "Freedom" poem, I am trying to be less abstract.
Abstraction is the disease of poets. I've been infected with it too.
It is hard to break out of that but the goal is to make the poem come to life for the other person. Often when we write poems we know what we feel and mean and so when we read it back we can feel it and see it for ourselves but others can't. Some people say, "We write poetry for ourselves, if others like it they like it . . . if they don't then they don't." This is bullshit. A true poet doesn't use poetry as therapy. Poetry is art. You are trying to show the world (as you see it) to people who are reading your poems. In order to do that, you have to bring it to life for that person who doesn't already see what you see.
I think it was interesting not hing special however I think you jumped around, I feel the link between the title and work is strong enough. The flow is off and the riddle foundation isnt very strong either, Overall I think this is a weaker piece...good luck
Yea, it is a weaker piece.
I should have just posted Freedom and Cockroach.
No I think it is good that you posted all of your work your better and worst, everyone in here is just as good as their last poem, at rm we dont care whether you are good it is more like a mentor deal, we try to help you grow if you are willing to not put you down or nothing, keep posting
ah i see bhitiah is back to her normal self around here..lol
nice poem....reminds me of a piece i wrote a loong time ago..lol...i like what your saying..give me interesitng visuals..
like the last few lines the best
keep it up
In case you don't know . . . I've been on RM since 2000.
I've posted in the Realm since 2002, I believe.
Just not so much recently.
What's funny is these are from a "Creative Writing" class I have to take for my major. The poems I was writing at the beginning of class were too deep and the professor couldn't understand them so she asked me to tone it down.
When these poems hit page two I'll post the stuff that I write when I'm not being watered down.
^^I know, 9000+ posts I was just saying...lol
for the most part dude has got issues... his sig says enough... sometimes he makes valid points... but not 9000+ valid points.
alot of people have been here since 2000, like myself.
but justifiable actions, right? or valid points? i dunno.
Eh, pseudo poets. Gotta luv em.
One thinks he's a mentor and the other thinks she's an intellectual.
See, the reason why people like you are such an annoyance to mankind is because of your patronizing approach to other human beings that shines through even when you believe yourself to be polite. You can't comment on a poem or even a statement without somehow trying to make yourself important. It's quite sad, actually. I may post a lot, I may type a lot. I may even have a lot of invalid posts. At least I don't take my "self" seriously.
This is a poetry thread Samara. Next time you reply to a poetry thread, try to reply to the poem. My only issue is that people like you believe yourselves to be equal to or better than people like me. And yes, my "signature" does say it all. The resentment that I stirred up in you when I called you a "fake ass Muslim" in the introspec is what brought you into this thread to comment on my "issues" . . .
Try to keep your nonsene in the introspec and other threads and leave it behind when you come in the realm. I don't know who is worse, you or Bhitiah. Fuckin net egos. Worse (and larger) than real life ones.
you are most definately a bird with a little pecker.
eat a dick.
I read your poem, but your phunk is why people dont appreciate your work.
You need to check yourself not everyone here is liberated because they are getting there GED. good work in your "creative writing" class.
id stick a sticker on poem but Id prefer to stick one on your forehead saying,
"this way down".
since you drew an incorrect conclusion about the introspec.,
lets indicate right now my point about 9000+ posts
i am an intellectual, tks.
as far as religon, lmao.
while you make posts about stupid shit and homework,
real people are discussing real issues that are called "solution driven conversations." Its not egos... its too many big words for your creative writing class.
im thinking about this:
Im sorry, but you do this ALL the time, and everything you write on here becomes entwined with your own narrative.
" I did this, I did that" etc. You are constantly trying to big yourself up, whether its by stating how long you've been around, how smart you think you are, or to give an example in this thread, how you had to tone down your poetry because it was 'too deep' for your professor.
What the hell does 'too deep' mean? That she was incapable of understanding your greatness, or that she meant you should simplify your poems because they were too obscure?
I think all it means here, is that you want people to think you are great.
You should try another tack because quite frankly, we see through it man, we aren't 15 anymore, you can't BS people and expect them to keep a straight face--not me anyway.
What are you, 10?
I thought you was for "problem solving" and being "educated" and "intellectual" with your responses.
Yea, the veil will only stay up so long before it slips off and exposes you for what you truly are.
GED? I graduated at 16 years old and currently attend a University with my wife.
We each have a GPA of 4.0, to date. What the fuck are you talkin about GED?
If you're going to make shit up and run with it, take your silly ass somewhere else and do it.
No, you're an idiot who believes she's an intellectual and tries way too hard.
Oh you're right, I should be trying to change the world on RM.
Buy a clue.
Real issues are for real life.
RM gets the what's left.
You want a cookie?
People have been thinking about this for years.
Separate names with a comma.