[SEMI FINALS] 1. Black Jesus vs 2. CANDY

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Tacky Jones, Jun 26, 2012.

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  1. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    [​IMG]

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  2. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

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  3. BlackJesus

    BlackJesus ***************

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    Hello there.
    test
  4. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

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    Angel of Horror
    ..
    From a tear of an infant to the veneer of a scream
    To revere from sheer panic is my satanic vaccine
    Between manic depression and an organic routine
    Evil is a delicatessen dispensing damaged esteem
    Believe and fathom the darkest of hells crimes
    Because each time a murderer lives
    An angel dies
    ..
    Indigo blue bruises induced by intense butchering
    Hopes a hallucination n anguish is what they cook it in
    My blade swings in sync to shave skin, ribs and brains
    His afraid, stained in piss as true hate lives in veins
    Prey gives n takes through suffering before suffocated
    His jaw torn in a decor of blood from the brush I paint with
    The face of a victim is all I depict in this sick twisted chamber
    As I slit his vacant cranium, still unmissed in his manger
    ..​

    [​IMG]
    ..
    Blooming school girls jitter along a cold pebble walkway
    With idle chitter-chatter about the bible before forth grade
    Her skin glistens like a string of marbles used for foreplay
    My future corpse aches for morbid pain and morgue trays
    Unsure of her future yet it’s as clear as the set present
    As clear as the presence of distress in a death sentence
    As seared as a scent adhered on a direct pretence
    Of fear etched like regret but just reflects re-venge
    An act, to catch my victim I’ll supply wits and wisdom
    Inflict incisions; with each slit I slice it’s of fine precision
    A trick, no prison could change her fate as I follow her
    Now her shallow grave won’t hesitate to swallow her
    She makes her way home and turns the lights out
    A night owl, I prowl as a lion about to bite down
    I pry out her window and sneak through the back
    My arsenal attached as I creep through her shack
    I retract my blade with grace as I sway to her bed
    But she is not there now I pray my prey hasn’t fled
    I hear sudden hollers and shake to her parent’s room
    With a trace of sulphur burrowed in her carer's womb
    Rouged on the walls and pillows rose feathers swoop
    Her dad won’t dare to move as she cocks back and shoots
    I was too late as I look into the eyes of a dead soul
    With her pupils dilated my wings start to dissolve
    My flesh peels as my heart breaks into shards
    I failed at my attempt to stop a killer at large
    Starved of attention or misused for laughs
    This girl was neither,
    She was born with hate in her heart
    ..
    A murderer is hatched every day unknown to God
    I should have foreseen
    and killed her in her cot
    ..​
    test
  5. BlackJesus

    BlackJesus ***************

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    Sorry but was having trouble with my internet provider...wasn't about to type all this on my phone.

    I know its late but If I could get an extension till tomorrow that would be a nice thing to do for your soul.
    test
  6. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

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  7. BlackJesus

    BlackJesus ***************

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    Man I sorry about this...I got caught up in some shit this weekend and just simply didnt have time to get this done. Its my own fault I shouldnt have waited till the last minute. Good luck moving on man.
    test
  8. TheInkwell

    TheInkwell New Member

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    CK!

    the beginning of your piece read alot like the introduction to a fairy tale.. a deep voice reading a mother goose rhyme. except twisted.

    The rhymes were great and not forced, and the imagery was well done. That twist at the end though was really smart. I thought you were just having the character kill her for the hell of it because it was the "angel of horror", so the fact that the angel was trying to kill a murderer.. and then the angel dying because it failed.. pretty misleading. atleast for me.

    and "Her skin glistens like a string of marbles used for foreplay"... that was gross.
    test
  9. patrown

    patrown student for life

    Joined:
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    Indigo blue bruises induced by intense butchering
    Hopes a hallucination n anguish is what they cook it in
    My blade swings in sync to shave skin, ribs and brains
    His afraid, stained in piss as true hate lives in veins
    Prey gives n takes through suffering before suffocated
    His jaw torn in a decor of blood from the brush I paint with

    ^wait.. hold on..
    Unsure of her future yet it’s as clear as the set present
    As clear as the presence of distress in a death sentence
    As seared as a scent adhered on a direct pretence
    Of fear etched like regret but just reflects re-venge
    An act, to catch my victim I’ll supply wits and wisdom
    Inflict incisions; with each slit I slice it’s of fine precision


    seriously. ? really , right now? ill supply wits and wisdom inflict incision; with each slit i slice its of fine precision forced rhyme/format ? i dont give a flying fuck. even if the wording wsa a bit awkward, in my dialiect of english.. you really impressed me here man.
    you do exactly what i'd like to with rhyme AND tell a story with that signature style.
    .. it's really too bad you were no showed on. in all honesty, it would have been nearly impossible to beat.
    test
  10. Tacky Jones

    Tacky Jones www.TaCsmassivecock.gov

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    CK by no show
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