~Self Hatred~

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Mind~$oul, Feb 2, 2004.

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  1. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    Messages:
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    mama was bound
    to be a broadway
    star...
    i can hear her taps
    up an down the
    hall...
    big ma got tired of
    it all...kicked her ass
    out now she's on
    her own...
    i was just a
    baby...
    how the hell is she
    gonna raise me...
    mama grew up
    in the 80's
    turned gay to white
    ladies...in the
    90's...
    ressurected in the
    new century...
    only to die when the
    dead ends began to
    meet...
    men where well known to
    her bow-
    legs...
    her pink kangols and
    shell toes..she would break
    dance...to win money and
    feed her
    children...
    until a sudden stray left my
    twin dead...
    abruptly she became
    lifeless...
    and i was left to take care
    of baby sis...
    it would seem
    as if...
    every night she would come home with
    different men...
    all the screaming
    the fighting
    her busted lips
    her swollen
    eye lids...
    i grew delirious...and hated
    her because of the life she chose
    to live...
    i grew rebellious...
    and we fought with words
    and closed fits...
    she said i'll
    end up just like the man on the park
    benches...he was a puerto
    rican...she thought i'd come out
    with his image...
    but genetics fucked up
    her scheming...
    i got his personality
    with your insecurity...
    your almond shaped
    eyes...color of honey
    that could pierce through any
    sky...and see through any
    lie...
    my dark chestnut skin
    tone..it was all
    you...self hatred came back to you in the form of your
    your son...and it(I) was your
    curse....
    let it pass
    down...


    some keystyle i did to a Kanye West song called "Spaceship"....When i heard it, i just started typing. But i couldnt finish it, started gettin out of control with it. sorry

    one luv
    test
  2. Nebulaz

    Nebulaz fear God, not man

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    Feb 28, 2001
    Messages:
    950
    first of all, i'm glad to see that you can still become inspired to write something down. as for the piece, it has storyline remenants of past poems you did but that doesnt affect the quality of it. its kinda like quinten tarren tino (sp) movies. they all move at the same pace, have similar themes, but everyone loves them all for what they are. As for what i think, i liked it as much as i did kill bill and cant wait to this the sequel this feb. and wouldnt mind seeing a second edition to this.
    test
  3. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    2,243
    Aight man, It's about damn time you sat down and wrote something. And I hate to do it, but I gotta(quote Jay-Z that is), "Can't leave rap(poetry) alone the game needs me." That's how it is with you man, but that's a good thing, cause you always droppin somethin like this that makes me look at my fucked up family life and be like, dayum homie, shit is really truly fucked up in the world outside of the one they are trying to make me live in. So, I thank you for writing such pieces, because while they are steadily trying to pull the wool over my head, you come in with pieces like this and show me that the wolf is usually the one doing the head covering...Loved it...
    test
  4. iLL Script.

    iLL Script. ~Poetic~

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    15,884
    wow...nice ta see u write suttin' again. great job, really felt it
    stay up
    test
  5. lewdDog

    lewdDog Life is are own illusion

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    May 11, 2003
    Messages:
    345
    very expressful...felling allot of u in this...1line that stood out that i wasnt sure about is turned gay to white
    ladies

    is that supposed to mean like u kno how every 1 blames everything on gays oh thats gay thats so gay dude u couldnt finish a meal ur so gay....u mean she blamed everything on whites like it was there falts intstead of saying it was gays fault j./w.....mad nice drop
    test
  6. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    good lookin out. The white lady line means that she started doing drugs...Cocaine and Herion.
    test
  7. Thrilla-Ali

    Thrilla-Ali Dapper Don

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    bravo bravo, ragu ragu, primo primo
    amazing man, amazing
    *hands you a beef jerky* good job
    test
  8. vinous

    vinous New Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Messages:
    405
    this was amazing - and there was no need for you to apologise - i must be very lucky catching you when i did cos it sounds like you havent been writing for awhile - but your pieces always seem so powerful/emotional/moving/real to me - so please dont deprive us of them....(im a fan, hehe). pz.
    test
  9. lpoet

    lpoet POET

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    12,678
    this is a much more complete piece then the one you showed me earlier...i love this man...very emotional like all of your pieces

    mama grew up
    in the 80's
    turned gay to white
    ladies...in the
    90's...
    ressurected in the
    new century...
    only to die when the
    dead ends began to
    meet...

    very nice...love the twists and turns in the piece

    and it(I) was your
    curse....
    let it pass
    down...

    dope ending but...its almost like saying that your life as well as your daughters and her kids and so on will all live simular lives...i dont like that..u gotta see further then the streets of memphis..but i'm sure you know that

    nice job man
    test
  10. Thrilla-Ali

    Thrilla-Ali Dapper Don

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,870
    sometimes i skim thru poems like the following but unfortunatley i never REALLY grasped the concept for this one. sounded like your mom was music or rap coverting to hip hop (at the end) or something. but neways some of those lines sticked, wun
    test
  11. Thrilla-Ali

    Thrilla-Ali Dapper Don

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,870

    the poverty circle is a cycle thats hard to break, but it can be broken
    test
  12. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    Messages:
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    thanks for showing luv people
    test
  13. StubbilyMug

    StubbilyMug DayorDollar Records

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    Messages:
    441
    this was fun man
    test
  14. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2003
    Messages:
    2,938

    What more is there left to say. it's nice to see you pop a piece in here tho, Haven't really been reading much of your stuff lately, I dont know y I sleep I just do, and this is my wake up call. Shit was pure fire, loved the emotion, just loved everything. You are a true POET, keep writing cause they need ya out here, we need ya.


    Stay Up, Much Love, Peace
    test
  15. misspimp

    misspimp a.k.a KATURAH

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,308
    Glad to finnaly be able to read another one of your writings. I payed very close attention to this and i didnt exactly understand, not that it was that hard to understand. I liked it alot. But i think that the way you presented or u know the style or whatever threw me off a little bit. It was defiently a hot concept, but i dont know i jus got confused!

    mad love
    test
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